How are you feeling today?

[Depina]

Hi
Gosh sorry people are hurting so much. I have been a bit better today but still weary and lacking any motivation, have spent a lot of time on this forum, my first day. The brain is so complicated, people say exercise, eat well, see your doctor,walk,think positively, think good thoughts, pull yourself together, take vitamin B /  St Johns Wort ( No good for me ) tell someone etc etc, what can we do only talk about it and try and get our medication right ? I spent years mostly isolated while my husband spent up to 15 hours a day on the computer and our sons had gone to university - and I missed them SO much, their life, their enthusiasm, the happy times. Apart from years working at part time jobs when sometimes I felt sick to go in work. The hours I spent (that I thought, It was me feeling sorry for myself and being self obsessed), but I know now that it WAS depression and I wasted SO many years crying and feeling hopeless.
Glad people here understand - try and be strong - Hugs D

[Munchroom]

I did the night shift! And it was fine!!  :) Had a bit of catching up to do as i hadnt been in for little over a week, but the woman who I was working with was quite understanding about depression and she has all thoughts of theories about why it affects us...

Then, I came home, spoke to my mum then I walked the dog by myself!! *has a little squeak of excitement* He was so happy trotting along and when I let him off the lead (I made sure there was no-one else around) he kept running of and looking back at me like 'its just you and me!!!  ' I think theres probably some doggy possesion issues going on with his relationship with me... but... I don't care 

I am quite hyper and overtired now though.... (as you can probably tell) so need to calm myself down and get to bed...

[Zaf]

Its great to hear you both posting positive things 

Dephina, everyone eventually finds their own coping strategies but what works for me is to go to my GP, get my medication and possibly counselling sorted as a priority, rest when I feel tired and apathetic, if I feel like walking I do and it does me good but very often I dont feel like going out.  I know I eat rubbish and comfort food at the beginning or bad days, I allow myself to do it and tackle it when I'm feeling more positive, avoiding stress or overdoing things is very important for me too.

Hope this helps a bit xx

Munch.... Well what can I say but weeyyyheyyyy!!   Thats brilliant

I'm also having a fairly positive day again despite being a tiny bit anxious and I may even try to get out into the back garden and do some much needed weeding :)

[seamie]

ive had a rough couple of weeks where i have felt really bad about myself, i felt useless and worthless, i felt i shouldn,t be even on here(this forum). but even though i have been consumed by a tsunami of self hatred i havnt resorted to cutting or burning or even worse.

 today it felt good to be alive. i only wish i could feel like this everyday.
i think this must be my longest post yet lol

[cornish]

well done nay     ^&*  just hope you weren't green

nice to see some one felt good today

day by dam seem worse and worse for me at the moment. cant seem to actually find anything worth while.

im allergic to chocolate   but i love it, i can have a tiny amount but if i eat for instance a dark chocolate bounty, ill struggle to breath.  managed to get my self in tescos and spent a few minuets staring at the large bars of chocolate having bad thoughts managed to buy some lollypops instead though :)


also i hate it when people say to me "your looking a ot better today"  what the hell are they on about its an almost invisable illness.

[Munchroom]

Hahaha didn't get the green bit for ages, re-read it and my post about six times before it clicked  Its what two glasses of red wine does to my brain....

Cornish - please think about our conversation. I know how isolating this illness is - but please realise, if you do carry on as you are and if the outcome will be as you described, it will affect so many people. Your family, people you see very day and us.

I know how tempting it is to just stop everything - how it can seem the only form of escape, but that is what this illness wants us to think! It wants to beat us down, to succomb and give in to it - but it really is beatable! I know it doesn't feel like it right now and it all seems so much effort to make it go away, but its all to do with small steps. Rewarding yourself for the smaller things and working up to the bigger things. Perhaps being off work completley would be a bad idea for you - perhaps claiming employment and support allowance and working your permitted 16 hours a week (or earning £95 a week, whichever comes first) would be better, so you are still seeing people. Even if it just a couple of hours a day? You don't have to be off completley - but once you are signed off, you do get offered support - it may only be from the job centre, but they give you a time and place and it is someone to talk to who's job it is to just monitor you, they aren't going to try and force you back to full time or anything like that. But you need to rest, you need to look after yourself - sleep and food make such a huge difference to our resiliance to this.

I made a post on Sunday about it being a year since I was diagnosed and about how it does get better with the right treatment - even if you dont beleive in yourself, please believe me. I know you can do this, you are stubborn enough!!   

[Zaf]

Feeling very tired today and a bit weird, hardly spept last night with very realistic dreams (fortunately not nasty ones), just want to curl under my duvet and avoid the world

I've had a few good days so its not surprising, I may have done too much but its always a bit disappointing to go down with a bump

[Janey63]

day started off well- managed to drive to my daughters- 5 mins in the car- and had coffee with her.....

then got home and slumped BIG style- feel awful now

[cornish]

i wasn't sure if u would get it

i did think about it very hard and i stayed up a read the article, not sure about if it helped much


i know that evening far too well, its like that for me every evening

[smirfy21]

thinking about just ending it all,I feel like my life is pretty pointless and im not gaining anything from living.

[Zaf]

please smirfy go to your doctor straight away

[Zaf]

tired and down, plus anxious,  Ive got counselling this morning which, although its been fairly positive so far, I'm still nervous about

[Munchroom]

I have a heavy cold and a very very sore throat     WHY?!?! The sexy husky voice may be nice over the weekend, but the sniffily nose and painful throat - no! 

I had a really good day yesterday - Chris dropped me into town to get my hair cut. Had a lovely chat with the hairdresser about depression and anxiety and she ended up opening up to me about seeing a counsellor and how she once had a French exchange student that self-harmed. Then, the library, where its always good to kill time, was shut  So... I ended up going to a charity shop and buying four books  *&^ 3 are novels, but one is a debate about what treatments are best for mental illness 'Doctoring the mind' by Richard Bentall - could be an interesting read!
Then I got the bus back - ended up having quite a chat with the bus driver (who was very nice  ) because he had no change - neither did I... and then I popped in on a friend on the way back from the bus stop because I figured one of the books, she would also like - and seeing as I have now bought 7 books this week...  So went in, had a cup of tea and a nice chat  :)

I was pretty proud of myself - but pretty exhausted by the end of all that!

[cornish]

thinking about just ending it all,I feel like my life is pretty pointless and im not gaining anything from living.

I'm feeling the same at the moment, earlier today I made an emergency appointment for Monday with my gp, I urge you to do the same. 

[smirfy21]

appointment made first thing this morning after fighting with stupid receptionist who wouldn't give me an emergency appointmet until I cracked and told her that I needed an emergency appointment because I was considering suicide. needless to say that appointment was made straight away after that!!

I thought that if I told her that I needed an emergency appointment she would just give me one not argue with me about it. why is everything so impossible at the moment when it comes to the NHS??