How are you feeling today?

[Munchroom]

I know I'm kind of putting myself out there - but I would ring them for you if you wanted. Phonecalls terrify me - I have to phone the people about this cottage before Friday  But to arrange an appointment, its pretty straightforward so not as nerveracking for me - if that makes sense? You would have to absolutley promise to keep the appointment though - and mean it!

[cornish]

wow im truly touched by that but i really cant ask you to do it for me. sorry for not being able to accept your help, its not that i dont want it. ummm i just feel horrific now at the thought that you would do that for me and i cant accept and uhhh well sorry cant really explain properly but this has tore me to pieces.

[Munchroom]

Oh god!  I didn't want to make you worse!! I'm sorry, didn't realise it would have that effect  &*(

[cornish]

dont feel bad about it, i appreciate the offer, i fell worse because of my messed up feeling, i feel so bad that i cant ask you to do that after you have offered.  i really didn't think kindness on this level existed, ive never met you and your willing to do something thats difficult to you.  words cannot express how much i really appreciate it and now i want to give you a massive hug.

i haven't been too good recently and now i fell a dam sight worse because i feel like ive failed you and rejected the help i need.  might be a lot more quiet for a bit, had to resort to a lot of diazepam and now im drifting off to sleep. night guys n gals and thanks for your support.

[Munchroom]

You havent 'failed' me at all - I just think you just need your faith in human nature restored a little bit 

Sleep well - you know where I am xx

[Zaf]

You definitely havent failed cornish, when you're ready everyone will support and encourage you, keep posting we're here to help xx

This morning I'd like to go back to bed and curl up under the duvet, I have to go to work so I cant

[Munchroom]

Woken up feeling guilty about that ^ I also have work tonight which isn't helping my anxiety one bit. Chris came home yesterday evening and was telling me about a very rude customer and I could feel my anxiety levels creeping up - also told me about a mistake a guy had made at his work and in situations like that, I tend to put myself in the persons situation and end up feeling really awful and panicky - its not Chris' fault, its normal after work venting! But it just reminds me of dealing with so may rude or snotty customers

[Zaf]

I dont think you should feel guilty, no-one should feel guilty in fact :)

I know what you mean,  my counsellor said the best way was to think of these things and try to disassociate with them,  I do it by taking the anxious feeling and making it go away by breathing in pink air, sending the anxiety down my arm and out of my fingers - it works for me most of the time!

[cornish]

Please don't feel bad it's not you fault.

[Zaf]

Its  not yours either cornish, its the damned illness

[Zaf]

 Really p'd off, irritible and anxious.   The dishwasher that was 'repaired' Wednesday died again two days later, engineer arrived today and confirmed it had died, no parts on the van, parts ordered, office will phone with yet another appointment (yet more time off work), will have to fit it in around my counselling appointments, hair appointment, taking dog to the vet and shopping in the next two weeks which are going to be busy anyway as I 'll be getting ready to (hopefully) go on holiday.

Aaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh

[Munchroom]

 &*( Just focus on the holiday at the end of all of this!

[Zaf]

Trouble is I 'm getting anxious about all the things I have to do before we go 

I'm really looking forward to a whole week away from everything in the middle of nowhere so the hassle of getting ready should be well worth it :)

[seamie]

feeling empty and small.

 have a nice time in wales munchroom and i,m sure cornish will get it sorted in his own time

[cornish]

still very low but ive been thinking about you munch and you have helped me a huge amount since ive been talking to you and just a tiny set back that is not your fault at all, its mine and my illnesses.