Author Topic: Jokes thread  (Read 76707 times)

Pip

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #675 on: January 13, 2020, 03:09:44 PM »
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

2016: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.

2017: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.

2018: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

2019: I will work out 3 days a week.

2020: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

Pip

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #676 on: March 01, 2020, 01:58:29 PM »
Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister.  The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they'd have to move.  "It's no use," Robbie said. "She's crawling good now and she'd probably just follow us."

Pip

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #677 on: April 01, 2020, 05:18:56 PM »
Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.  A curious neighbor wandered over and asked from a distance if he was going to have a garage sale.  "No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date. He'll be taking the car out soon to pick up the girl."

"So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor.

"Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys, and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work, I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."