Depression Forums

General => Fun Stuff => Topic started by: Ezel on September 02, 2010, 08:28:22 PM

Title: Jokes thread
Post by: Ezel on September 02, 2010, 08:28:22 PM
 Cat Quotes

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats."
- Dave Platt

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."
- Jeff Valdez

"There is no snooze button for a cat that wants breakfast."
-Anonymous

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this." - Anonymous

"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."
- English proverb

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
- Ellen Perry Berkeley

"One cat just leads to another."
- Ernest Hemingway

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later."
- Mary Bly

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."
- Joseph Wood Krutch

"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."
- Faith Resnick

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
- Hippolyte Taine

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."
- Anonymous

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer

The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
- Ernest Menaul

"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me."
- Anonymous

"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
- Colette

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."
- Missy Dizick

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats."
- Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."
- Joseph Wood Krutch

"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
- John S. Nichols

"The smallest feline is a masterpiece."
-- Leonardo Da Vinci

"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
-- Anonymous

"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein
Title: Re: Cat Quotes
Post by: Michibelle on September 03, 2010, 07:27:23 AM
This made me laugh out loud this morning, so thank you!
Title: Jokes thread
Post by: Ezel on September 17, 2010, 01:50:25 PM
 Getting Old

- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

- Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want to people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

- How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

- When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

- You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

- One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

- One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

- Ahh, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

- Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

- If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

- First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper, then...Oh, my goodness, you forgot to pull your zipper down!

- If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker??

And best of all...

- I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Title: Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers, Part I
Post by: Ezel on September 25, 2010, 12:54:38 PM
 Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers, Part I

An old one, but a good one...

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for Bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they get try to get back to the sell, just continue your problems.

3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name, then ask them to spell the company name, then ask them where it located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? Oh, my gosh! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

6. Say, "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
Title: Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers, Part II
Post by: Ezel on September 25, 2010, 12:55:28 PM
 Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers, Part II

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in a sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood.

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh- huh, really, or "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone that's a complete stranger.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics." You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh, my goodness!!!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allow to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home. (This is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers)
Title: Re: Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers, Part II
Post by: lightenup on October 08, 2010, 12:58:02 PM
Brilliant Ezel, I normally just ask them can they hold for a second and go ahead doing normal things they don't like holding after 10mins or so...............

A few weeks ago I was really unwell 2 words the second was off................not good
Title: Re: Getting Old
Post by: emogirl on November 02, 2010, 09:50:21 AM
 ;D
some in there i can identify with  &^% &^%
Title: Re: Getting Old
Post by: Stonesour on November 04, 2010, 08:29:01 PM
 ;D
Title: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on July 31, 2011, 03:40:07 PM
I had an idea of a sort of game we could play  :-\ I'm not sure if it will work - there could be a glaringly obvious flaw which I have not considered! But basically what we do is ask a question BUT it absolutely has to be positive!! It will get those replying remembering good events or... compliments they've been given, favourite things that perhaps they haven't thought of for a while etc... Then the person that answers the question gets to ask a new one for anybody to answer and it could just roll on like that.... I know I have times when I'm not all that imaginative so we could always re-use questions, give someone else the chance to give their answer.... Hopefully this makes sense and I am not just rambling!!  ::)

Ok... my first question - for anyone to answer is:
 
What is the nicest compliment anyone has ever given you?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: lightenup on July 31, 2011, 07:00:36 PM
My mum gave me a cushion today saying "A daughter is a Special Friend" 

What do you hope to achieve tomorrow?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on July 31, 2011, 07:17:24 PM
To get to work and get through the day without having a panic attack

What is your favoutite food or meal?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on July 31, 2011, 07:20:34 PM
Cheese...olives, some nice fresh bread, maybe a bit of pastrami or cured meat

What has been the highlight of the last seven days for you?

(Thanks for replying guys!!  :))
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: lightenup on July 31, 2011, 07:52:33 PM
My mother in law getting out of hospital.

What's your favourite saying?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on July 31, 2011, 08:03:06 PM
As much use as a chocolate teapot

If money was no object what/where would your ideal holiday be?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on July 31, 2011, 09:01:09 PM
Lapland... In a little hotel on the Russian border, if money was no object I'd also get married whilst there  ;)

What is your favourite film?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Pete on July 31, 2011, 10:09:08 PM
ironically mine is its a wonderful life but I havent watched it for 3 years since my sister was diagnosed with cancer. Maybe its time to play it again, Thanks.


What is the funniest joke you ever heard?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 12:01:34 AM
most of the ones my boss tells, there not funny and he can never finish them but its just funny to watch him start pissing him self laughting half way though telling them

whats your favorite car/ manufacturer ?     sorry i have no imagination
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 01, 2011, 09:15:50 AM
VW - Maybe I have been slightly influenced by my better half  ;) But... They always seem pretty reliable AND VW campers rock  />.

Umm... What is your favourite time of year?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 09:23:21 AM
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 01, 2011, 09:28:58 AM
Haha nice to know I have become predictable in the short time we've know each other!  :P

I love the cold and rain too - that doesnt make you weird!! (Says me!)

I have some friends coming over for dinner later, so the best part of my day will be making a summer trifle and cooking a nice big roast lamb dinner!  :)

Do you have any pets?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 09:50:40 AM
lol well it was pretty obvious

nope but i would love a pet, shame im allergic to most things with hair :(  would love a reptile though



whats the one thing you cant live without ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 01, 2011, 09:56:03 AM
Sounds really soppy - people, get your buckets ready!! Would have to be Chris though  ::) I honestly think if it wasn't for him I wouldnt even be here now, he really is my rock and has shouldered so much over the last 18 months. On a lighter note... My dog also, he is the coolest animal ever! Such a dude  ;)

If you were to make a mixtape of 10 songs - what would those songs be?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 10:38:44 AM
thats loverly that ......  umm your dog is a dude.   haha sorry chris :P

right this is going to be a random as hell list but its an actual cd in my van at the moment. there are others on it and there in no paticular order, this is also not my favorite cd but i seem to play it a lot at the moment

1  cragga  mr postman mix   
2  jackson 5   abc
3  escala   kashmir   
4 pendulum  throught the loop and  slam     yes i know thats 2 and it makes this list 11
5 ac/dc    back in black
6 katy b   katy on a mission
7 atb  9pm
8 dizzy rascal  bonkers
9 shakira she wolf
10 sash  raindrops


whats your favorite film ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 01, 2011, 12:00:42 PM
Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind - such an amazing film that I could just watch over and over again and still find something new! Also, the idea that you could have someone erased from your mind sometimes seems very appealing!! AND it has possibly one of the best soundtracks to a film....  ;)

What is your guilty pleasure? (Remember a positive one though!!)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 12:10:24 PM
oi get back to work :P

gotta be my retail therapy for things i dont need, well i do manage to justify them so actually i do need them haha



whats the first thing you would do if you won the lottery ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Pete on August 01, 2011, 01:08:52 PM
Lol I discussed this with that euro  win, first thing is book holiday but then i'd start to worry about hpw the money would turn people against me and maybe result in my family being kidnapped for ransom so glad i didnt win ::)


What song makes you feel safe and content right now?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 01, 2011, 01:17:14 PM
Cornish... read my 'How are you feeling today?' post!  !"!

I would say... Alibi by 30 Seconds to Mars. I posted it in the 'What are you listening to?' thread... pretty amazing song!  :)

Um... What did you want to be when you were little?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 05:22:56 PM
i think the same about winning the lottery :(

i just went n read it n dunno why i was suppose to read it,  although im a bit off my head on diazepam

i wanted to be an electrician. i succeeded :D


whats your target for the week ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 01, 2011, 05:34:21 PM
To keep making small improvements with my illness

What TV program do you like the most?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 05:46:37 PM
good for you

gotta be  csi, although i cant actually remember the last time i watched it


whats your favorite drink ??  and i dont mean alcohol  ;)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 01, 2011, 05:59:22 PM
Home made elderflower cordial

What place in the world would you most like to visit?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 06:11:05 PM
ive always wanted to take my land rover over to greenland and drive into an ice cave, there a truly beautiful sight, well from the pics ive seen they are


when did you last laugh ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 01, 2011, 06:17:11 PM
Wow, that sounds amazing :)

Not sure about a proper laugh but I did think it was funny and smiled when OH filled the dishwasher with the wrong stuff Sunday and we ended up with foam all over the kitchen rather like something out of a horror sci fi movie!

What sports have you taken part in or do you still take part in?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 08:34:41 PM
Haha

Used to do a lot of motersport.  Drag raceing, land rover trails
Power kite boarding was fun too, basically a huge kite and a big skateboard with big wheels on the beach
Suppose shooting is a sport too

What is your biggest ambition?  Not includeing getting better


Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 01, 2011, 09:45:08 PM
To have a book published  :)

What was your favourite subject at school?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 01, 2011, 10:21:51 PM
Science but most of the time I was banned from entering any rooms with gas taps :p

What's your greatest achievement ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 02, 2011, 06:45:02 PM
Hmmm... this seems to have stumped us!  :-\

I'm gonna say.... going to Dublin a few weeks ago. I surprised myself and everyone else when I took up a last minute offer from my friend who had ended up with two flights! She had never flown before and the 2 times I've flown, I've followed my OH around the airport like an amazed little lamb! But we went - for 24 hours (It was for a book signing) we had a great time, strengthened our friendship and got thoroughly exhausted!! It took me a week to recover  ::) But I did it - when I couldn't even step outside my front door a few months ago!

Would you prefer a holiday where you were to lie by the pool in a hot country, relax, sunbathe and get along with the other Brits around or go somewhere colder, more quiet and remote and have a mixture of activities/walking/embracing local culture?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 06, 2011, 12:07:24 AM
cold, i cant stand the heat its horrible.  just anywhere cold will do for me, preferably with lots of snow and a land rover with a bloody heater that works :)


whats your guilty pleasure ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 06, 2011, 05:42:04 AM
Eating huge amounts of chocolate

what are you looking forward to this weekend?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 06, 2011, 03:36:38 PM
going to work and working in a big freezer.  i like the cold :)   yes im strange


whats the first thing you do in the morning ?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 06, 2011, 03:57:39 PM
Talk to the dog whilst putting a mug of milk in the microwave for a milky coffee  :) (Chris has gone to work by this point, I don't generally ignore him in the morning...)

What would your dream day consist of?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 06, 2011, 05:56:52 PM
Laying on a quiet beach in the Seychelles with no interruptions except for drinks and lunch/dinner being served at appropriate times  :)

If money was no object what car would you buy?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 06, 2011, 07:40:17 PM
a bel aurens long nose land rover hybrid powered by a rolls royce merlin engine which is 27 litre v12 turbo produceing close to 1500bhp :D
the pic is a v8 version not the long nose v12
(http://static.blogo.it/autoblog/BellAurensLongnose_01.jpg)

mmm sexy v8 noise :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKI-Rc29GfI&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKI-Rc29GfI&feature=related)

umm im drooling too much to think of a question


hmmm do u think that v8 sounds sexy ??   ^-^


Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 06, 2011, 08:47:35 PM
Hahaha good question  :P

Um... not really! Chris will often say 'Ahhh doesn't that sound good?!' (Or something similar) on hearing a car that sounds like there is something majorly wrong with the engine because its making a racket... I presume a V6 is similar? (Apparently his bright orange golf mk2 has a VR6 engine....)

He's never impressed with my distaste either  ;)

Whats the nicest thing someone has said to you in the past week?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 06, 2011, 10:34:32 PM
oh :(

technically its not a v6 its a vr 6 i could go into geekey levels of detail but i doubt anyone on here would appreciate it.

haha

cant really think of anything really nice, i honestly dont think there has been anything, but then i havent really spoken to anyone, i never do :(
im not counting things on here though

i can think of a thousand questions that arent positive.

would you rater be attacked by a horse sized duck or ten duck sized horses.    good old radio one question that has always stuck with me.
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 07, 2011, 08:05:26 AM
Haha um... both would be pretty surreal, I'm gonna go for a horse sized duck though, at least then its one on one and a bit more of a fair fight!  :P

If you could live through any era instead of this one, which one would you pick?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2011, 08:19:14 AM
The 60's

What time of year do you loke the best?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 07, 2011, 09:03:55 AM
October/November/December  :)

I love the feeling where the days are getting colder and its getting autumnal and then you know its going to be winter soon and I LOVE winter, getting ready for christmas, the whole lot - also my birthday is in december  :P

Whats your favourite sunday roast?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2011, 09:09:42 AM
Thats a difficult one cos I'm virtually vegan!    I'd have to say lots of lovely roast vegs with a rich spicy sauce and some rice

Whats the best book you've ever read?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 07, 2011, 01:59:50 PM
The Little Girl That Lived Down The Lane - Laird Koeng

What did you want to be when you were little?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2011, 02:34:27 PM
A vet

What is your favourite place
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 07, 2011, 02:40:11 PM
oi munch that question has already been asked  :P
 im virtually vegan too, been a veggie for about 15 years now

my bed, its comfy and i feel safe there, well im still there now haha


what hobbies do you have ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2011, 03:12:34 PM
Horses, dogs, sewing and knitting etc, reading, walking, gardening (most of those only when I'm well)

What animals do you like and do you have any pets?



Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 07, 2011, 03:45:59 PM
i love dogs and reptiles, sadly i dont have any as im allergic to dogs :( and i live with my mum as i know i wouldn't cope otherwise and she would go mental if i brought a reptile home.

whats your favorite sweet ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 07, 2011, 03:52:06 PM
 Questions can be recycled  :P I made the rules up remember  ;)

Favourite sweet... hmmm apart from the obvious 'chocolate' I think Fruit Pastilles rock, only the dark coloured ones though OH! Or Jelly babies.... hmm, thats tricky....

Fruite pastilles or Jelly babies?  :P
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2011, 04:33:29 PM
Fruit pastilles  :P

Whats your favourite time of day?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 07, 2011, 05:46:23 PM
Around 5.30/6pm.... Chris gets home from work and we usually have a cup of tea and a chat  :) Sometimes a piece of cake manages to sneak its way in there too...

What was your favourite holiday?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 07, 2011, 05:49:35 PM
haha ok but i think these rules need to be written down some where

my favorite time of the day is midnight because im never sure what day it is


whats your happiest memory?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 07, 2011, 05:50:14 PM
ah crap ignore my post i failed, didnt notice yours
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2011, 05:58:36 PM
I think my answer will be the same for both questions  - about 10 years ago we stayed in a lodge on the shore of Craiglush loch in Perthshire, total peace and quiet with nature all around.

Who is your favourite actor?
Title: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: willowpuss on August 07, 2011, 06:19:25 PM
Or if you have one handy, ask them to hold on a second and pass the phone to a small child (a babbling toddlers works well) and see how long they stay on the line for.

Our record so far is 12 minutes 27seconds
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: willowpuss on August 07, 2011, 06:19:51 PM
LOL like them
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 07, 2011, 06:29:39 PM
Aha! Zaf saves the days with a diplomatic answer!   :) Sounds beautiful aswell...

Hmm favourite actor... Noel Fielding is always a winner in my book! Although... I guess he would be classed as more of an 'entertainer'. Serious actor wise, probably Clive Owen  :)

Whats your favourite TV show? 
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2011, 06:32:15 PM
Good ones  :D
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2011, 06:43:25 PM
I think that depends on what my day is like and what mood I'm in, at the moment I'm watching a lot of Judge Judy  ::)

Who is your favourite singer or band?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 07, 2011, 06:54:24 PM
Very much like you and what sort of mood I'm in with that one...

At the moment I'm listening to a lot of The Pierces and 30 Seconds To Mars, I've always loved The Corrs though, also The Cardigans and A Camp are pretty amazing OH! But Garbage are very good too - I think lyrically, they can just blow me away! I don't think I have a favourite  ::)

What are you looking forward to this week?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2011, 07:02:57 PM
This sounds dreadful but knocking off time on Friday!

Whats your favourite meal?




Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 07, 2011, 07:07:04 PM
not really too sure but dominoes comes to mind as theres no effort needed and its easy to clean up after haha

why is pizza round and it comes in a square box ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 08, 2011, 09:15:04 AM
Um... so Dominoes can fit their sauce pots in the corners?  :P

What countries have you visited?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 08, 2011, 09:30:23 AM
France, Tunisia, Djerba (not sure if there are any others)


what would you do if you won several millions on the lottery?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 08, 2011, 09:49:56 AM
I would buy my parents a house and make sure my brothers & sisters were all comfortable, get married, put some away and buy a couple of small houses (we don't need big houses  :P) Theres a bungalow, which is more like a wooden shack that we used to stay in a lot in Cornwall, right on the coast... its a really beautiful spot, but the land itself will be mega money, so I'd definetly buy that!  ;) Oh and I'd probably get another couple of dogs.... not that I've thought about this much...  :-\

Whats your favourite movie?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 08, 2011, 10:14:09 AM
hmmm thats a difficult one,  I've liked quite a lot over the years. I think if I had to pick just one it would be Soldier Blue (that shows my age!)

Thinking of all the gadgets and electronic things you own, which one is the best, most useful or you like most?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 08, 2011, 10:20:36 AM
I think probably my dishwasher!  :P I've never had a dishwasher and have only had one for the last couple of months... my god, its amazing!!

Would you rather spend a weekend in London - seeing shows, eating out and staying in a 5* hotel, or spend it in a small cottage in the highlands of Scotland... very remote, quiet walks and unpredictable weather?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 08, 2011, 10:29:44 AM
mine broke Sunday and Ive got the repair man coming Wednesday, could have done without that extra expense :(

Definitely Scotland :)

What sort of art do you like?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 08, 2011, 12:21:51 PM
Ooooo thats very tricky! I have always loved Dali and anything a bit surreal... but I do love things that are very intricate, I do intricate artwork so I definitely admire it in others! We went to London just before Christmas for my birthday to see an art exhibition that Noel Fielding (him again!  ::)) had put on... again, quite surreal and everything had a story. I like quite bold things too...


(http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150142988969364&set=a.389124519363.161323.506019363&type=1&theater)

I don't know if that link will work... not really sure how to post images on here, thats one that I did - I made placemats for my mum with the same design  :)

Do you have a holiday planned for this year?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 08, 2011, 12:31:43 PM
I coulnt open it but that might be because I'm at home on my ipad, I'll try to remember to look when I'm at work

Yes, nothing special, a caravan for a week on the Yorkshire moors

Do you do anything special at Christmas time?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 08, 2011, 12:38:21 PM
Ah.... never mind, its a ink to facebook, so I don't know if you need to be logged in/registered to see it.

Usually we stay home, just the two of us and the dog on Christmas day  :) When I worked in the care home before, I did christmas days or boxing days because I was 'full-time' so we never really went away anywhere and Chris' place of work is open right up until christmas eve - so we've just tended to stay local. This year though, Chris has managed to get some time off and we're hopefully going up to Scotland with a couple of friends for the week between christmas and new year  :) Quite exciting!

What television character would you most associate yourself with?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 08, 2011, 01:09:13 PM
Sounds a great plan for Christmas :)

Probably Barbara Good from the Good Life cos we have a massive vegetable garden and used to have goats and chickens

Is there anything special you'd like to do when you retire?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 08, 2011, 01:13:14 PM
Hmmm I havent really thought too much about my retirement yet!  :P I guess I'd like to be comfortable money-wise and have a happy and healthy family around me. Probably doing what I'm doing now - drawing and writing... making 'good home-cooked food!' and hopefully living somewhere on the coast  :)

If you could wake up anywhere tomorrow, where would it be?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 08, 2011, 01:21:05 PM
In the Seychelles for a good long rest on a sun kissed beach

Who is your favourite actress?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 09, 2011, 02:50:42 PM
Eva Green

Whats for tea tonight?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 09, 2011, 03:00:44 PM
Chips and something, not sure what at the moment, it will depend what time OH gets back from visiting his dad in hospital before wanting to dash back out to play pool  ::)

What type of flowers do you like the most?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 09, 2011, 08:20:40 PM
none i have allergies :(

what the first thing you can put your hand on thats not related to your computer ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: mozma on August 09, 2011, 09:42:48 PM
my phone bill

Who would win in a staring competition Batman or Spiderman?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 10, 2011, 01:14:01 PM
I'm gonna go Batman....

Whats your favourite type of cake?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 10, 2011, 02:48:34 PM
eccles cake ;)


whats your favorite season in the year?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 10, 2011, 03:07:23 PM
Spring, i love seeing the plants waking up after their winter sleep and the nights getting longer, its getting warmer but not too hot and there arent usually too many bugs or flying stingy things About.

What is your favourite fruit?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 10, 2011, 03:13:38 PM
British strawberries.... has to be british though, they are so sweet and tasty  ;)

Um... whats the song stuck in your head right now?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 10, 2011, 09:01:10 PM
has to be ac/dc back in black,   ive been watching supernatural a bit much.

whats your favorite tv series ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 10, 2011, 09:26:48 PM
In recent months... The Walking Dead... I have a bit of a zombie/apocalypse obsession  :-\

Also Spaced - all seems scarily familiar  :P

Whats your favourite takeaway? (I can almost guarantee Cornish's reply!  :P) x
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 10, 2011, 09:37:19 PM
oo i watched that a few weeks ago n loved it, really looking forward to the next series.
thats an awesome series, just dunno where i can watch it :(

actually you cant, when i actually used to eat vaguely normally it would be from a chinese, from next to a friends house, it was mixed vegetables,  with water chest nuts in a black bean sauce with some noodles and bean sprouts.   thats the only take away ive had other than dominoes as far as i can remember, i like my strange home made veggie stuff too much.  ive been in far too many food factories to consider eating anything processed.   well some stuff i eat still is but very little, please dont let me put you off, most food factories are immaculate and very hygienic and the ingredients they use are top notch but there are some that i would never even feed the food my worst enemy.
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 10, 2011, 09:39:39 PM
Haha ah ok  :P You have proven me wrong!

Spaced is on repeated a lot on Dave  ;)

*whispers* Whats your question?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 10, 2011, 09:46:30 PM
pressed post too soon haha, better add a question.

hmmm    tea or coffee ?  and what type ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 10, 2011, 09:49:05 PM
not really as its the only one i eat now is dominoes so it has to be my favorite.

well i just have to get motivated enough to actually watch tv now

i noticed before u posted that :D
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 11, 2011, 09:44:04 AM
Coffee.... I am quite fussy about this  :-\  It has to be in a *definite* coffee mug.... drinks taste different from different mugs! And it has to be strong, but also have a lot of milk in it and also quite sweet (but not too sweet  :P)

Also... when it comes to dunking biscuits  :-\ I'm not a massive biscuit eater but Chris is.... my god, if he dares to contaminate a drink that I haven't already given up to biscuit dunking duties, there is trouble!!!  They effect the taste....

Yes, I am odd  :P

Whats your pet hate?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 11, 2011, 11:59:34 AM
Unreliable people

Whats your favoirute colour?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 11, 2011, 12:26:40 PM
Completley with you on unreliable people!

Green

Where were you born?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 11, 2011, 12:44:20 PM
Teddington

Do you prefer hot or cold drinks?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 11, 2011, 02:28:11 PM
Cold... as an aside, since I started taking these new sleeping meds a couple of nights ago, I am so thirsty!!  :o

Ok, slighty out there, but it is important! Do you know how to kill a zombie?  ;)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 11, 2011, 02:32:58 PM
Might be worth mentioning it to your doc?

I have to confess I have no idea, a vampire yes, but not a zombie!

Do you ever read a novel twice?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 11, 2011, 02:36:13 PM
You need to destroy the brain! Bear it in mind, you never know when it might come in useful  ;)

Yes... I have read The Little Girl That Lived Down The Lane countless times. Never get tired of that book  :)

What three things would you say you are really good at?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 11, 2011, 02:54:57 PM
Yep, I might need it someday!

Not sure about really good, possibly quite good - accounts/bookwork, interior decorating, sewing/knitting

Do you like thunderstorms?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 11, 2011, 02:59:33 PM
 :)

I do - I find them really exciting, when I'm with someone - otherwise I'm just a big scardey cat and ring my mum until it passes  :P

What are you looking forward to?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 11, 2011, 03:07:49 PM
Feeling well again and getting away on holiday for a week in yorkshire in September

Do you loke snow?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 11, 2011, 04:32:55 PM
I love snow  ^-^ Its a real possibility that one day we'll move to Lapland. Snow, huskies, middle of nowhere... I would be in heaven!

What is your favourite board game?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 11, 2011, 04:39:17 PM
Brrrr, that makes me feel cold!


I think probaby Monopoly

What is your favourite comedy (past or present)?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 12, 2011, 06:52:04 AM
Ooooh thats a hard one! I like things that are a bit quirky  ::) Green Wing or The Mighty Boosh are way up there (Noel....  %$%) I do find myself giggling the whole way through 8 out of 10 cats though - although I guess thats classed as a panel show. Peep Show and Spaced are also brilliant.... Black Books, Only fools and Horses.... My word, theres too many to chose from!

Any plans for the weekend?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 12, 2011, 08:01:47 AM
I loooves peep show too.   BBQ dog anyone ?

Working again

Anyone want to swap jobs ?

But seriously.  7up or sprite??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 12, 2011, 02:38:02 PM
7 up :)

  sunrise or sunset ???
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 12, 2011, 03:40:38 PM
Sunrise :)

Favourite novel?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 12, 2011, 07:29:40 PM
been thinking about that question all day and i can say ive never read a novel but i read car and land rover magazines sometimes  :P

iphone or blackberry ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 12, 2011, 07:46:37 PM
You sound as bad as my OH, all he reads are workshop manuals or bike magazines  ::)

Neither, I've got an android phone (HTC Desire), I wanted an iphone but thought it was too expensive.

Which Bank holiday do you like the most?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 12, 2011, 08:35:32 PM
well ill take that as a complement, oh n i have a few workshop manuals too :)

i like all bank holidays because when i work them i get triple time and with an electricians wage that puts a smile on my face.
i cant stand easter though as im allergic to chocolate, well i still eat very little very rarely  :P
not really a bank holiday but i love pancake day :D

pepsi or coke ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 12, 2011, 08:50:26 PM
Coke, everytime  :)

Whats the best job you've ever had?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 12, 2011, 10:28:20 PM
gotta be my current job, well before all this started it was :(  only had one real job before that doing the same thing so from the day i left school ive been an electrician, well all but a few weeks before i started my apprenticeship and i worked in a office for a few days but ummm well i was asked to leave due to misuse of a laminator :-\  anything i could find was laminated, including a load of dead flies, looked pretty cool and they wouldn't let me keep it :( im glad now though, it seems strange looking back on it, but i know that office work is not for me, i get easily distracted and bored easily, i need to be doing something all the time.



are you normally late, early or on time ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 13, 2011, 07:59:58 AM
Normally early

Tea or coffee?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 13, 2011, 08:49:47 PM
coffee, black and strong in a HUGE mug, but not very often now due to caffeine being a depressant and it affects me badly :(



have you ever had a pee in the shower lol ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 14, 2011, 06:50:17 AM
I have to admit yes  :-[

What type of films do you like? Horror, romantic, sci-fi etc ........
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 14, 2011, 09:11:56 AM
Sci-fi... and a bit apocalyptic (as if you hadn't of guessed  ;))

When was the last time you went camping?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 14, 2011, 09:18:29 AM
1973!

If you go on holiday do you prefer camping, caravanning, self catering, hotel etc?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 14, 2011, 10:27:38 AM
 :o. That's before I was born

Self catering but I don't do holidays anymore :(

Wheres you favourite place ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 14, 2011, 10:39:15 AM
I was only a teenager at the time  but I had a nasty feeling that would show my age!  Keep positive cornish, you'll beat the damned illness one day

Perthshire, around the Dunkeld area

Whats your favourite smell?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 14, 2011, 02:58:12 PM
The woods when its been raining - or coffee  :-\

Do you wear glasses?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 14, 2011, 04:42:37 PM
I do for reading and driving

Do you play any sports?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 14, 2011, 05:47:55 PM
only sports i used to do were power kiting, basically a huge kite and a skate board with big wheels on, was bloody quick on the beach :)
oh and lots of motor sports.  used to take my car drag racing, couple of drift days and a lot of different types of off roading competitions.


what can you see out the window now ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 14, 2011, 06:24:21 PM
Bits of my garden  :) My shed, which is very old and faded and needs pulling down, some tomato plants and some lovely golden sunflowers  :)

Holiday in england or abroad?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 14, 2011, 06:40:52 PM
i loves fresh tomatoes mmm

umm dunno england for now, but i also hate hot places so ummm well still dunno but i now hate the idea of flying or going on a boat.


what's the last thing you ate ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 14, 2011, 07:25:54 PM
Half a bag of maltesers - after a really nice roast dinner, I bought lamb fillets and had no idea how to cook them! So they've been in a really low oven for about 5 hours!! So tender - quite proud of them  ;)

Do you dream a lot?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 14, 2011, 08:00:15 PM
yes and there very vivid and well actually there more like nightmares.

whats the last dream you remember?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 14, 2011, 08:31:59 PM
I remember every dream  :-[ And they are getting worse.... And so incredibaly detailed! I remember the dream I had thisafternoon (and last night, the night before and before that and before that and so on...), but I won't go into it because this is supposed to be a positive thread - but, it really was not nice...

Whats your idea of a perfect day?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 14, 2011, 09:08:31 PM
any day before this started. 
but probably a day of off roading and a few nice gently green lanes to relax on

orange juice or apple juice ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 05:58:25 AM
Apple juice, I'm allergic to citrus fruit  ::)

Do you have a garden?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 07:31:38 AM
I do  :) Its quite small - but I have found pottering around in my back garden to be very theraputic. I struggle to do my front garden because of being out the front - but the back, I'm out there almost daily and I have tomatoes that are turning red!  />. Also, I've found inspiration in my plants for some childrens stories which have gone down well amongst family and friends, so I need to get on and find out what to do with them next!!

Do you have any pets?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 08:07:43 AM
I've at last managed to get out in the back garden today but, as you say, I cant go out in front yet despite it desperately needing a lot of work in it

Yes, I have 5 rescued dogs plus 4 horses

Where do you like to walk, or where did you like to walk if you cant at  the moment?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 08:23:36 AM
Wow - thats a lot! I bet they are amazing though  :) What breeds of dog do you have?

Luckily Chris also loves walking and exploring - so on weekends we do tend to go off and end up in a pub or campsite somewhere  :) The dog is getting a little elderly though, so we have to make sure we have some doggy painkiller so his joints dont play him up the day after. On friday I went down to Kimmeridge on the Dorset coast with my parents who were down for a few days - we walked along the clifftop (SO many blackberries and sloes!) and then we walked back along the beach looking for fossils - was wonderful  :) Anywhere that has sea or woods and is quiet and I'm in my element. Theres talk of climbing Snowdon one weekend before winter - that should be good, although I'll have to make sure I have days either side that I can store up energies and then recuperate!

Whats your favourite snack?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 09:22:10 AM
Ive got to admit when I feel ill they seem a burden which is terrible but I know I feel differently when I'm well

We have one greyhound, two lurchers and two whippet lurchers; as for the horses we have two Friesians, an Arab x welsh and a very old thoroughbred.  We used to have 5 goats at one time but one winter when I was desperately ill with depression we realised we needed to cut down so I found them good home with a friend.

What sort of dog do you have?

I think probably salted peanuts

What do you look forward to doing most when you are properly well?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 09:33:40 AM
I have... what I have recently discovered (after 6 years  :P) and my other half disputes... an Australian Shepherd. He's called Benji and is honestly the most beautiful, loyal and friendly dog I have ever had. He was a rescue dog and there was a bit of a dispute over whether he was 4 or 8 when we got him... so we're not really sure on his age. But since I've been ill and at home, he has been amazing. He follws me everywhere and its almost like he 'protects' me when Chris isn't here. As soon as Chris comes in through the door you'll see him physically dip his shoulder as if to say 'Ok, your back, I've done what I can!' He watches tv and 'talks' quite a lot, so he's got quite a character. We're hoping to get him a friend soon - another big dog, but from having my mums dog to stay we can tell he loves the company, he does tend to mope a bit when she goes home (either that or he's in doggy love!)

I think what I most look forward to is planning my wedding and getting married. I just can't cope at the moment with all the organisation and desicion making it would take.

What is your favourite piece of clothing - something that when you put on, you think 'Yeah, I feel good!'
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 09:43:30 AM
He sounds lovely, will you find another one from rescue?

Thats definitely something well worth working towards,  I think the organisation would be daunting for someone thats 100% well so I'm not surprised you want to wait till you're better.

Strangely enough its a bright red tee shirt that is sort of fitted (rather than a loose baggy one), no idea why!

If you had a chance to sit quietly in the sunshine and take in the view, what would you like to be seeing?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 09:51:02 AM
Yeah - I've always had rescue dogs. Keeping an eye on our local places to see whats around  :)

Red is good! It a bright colour - black... not so good  ;)

I would like to be on a cliff in Perranuthanoe in Cornwall, sat outside a little shack that we used to stay in when I was little. You look down past the fields to the very quiet beach and the sea across to the Lizard point. I think that bungalow is possibly my favourite place in the whole world  :)

Have you ever, or do you dye your hair?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 10:06:04 AM
Hope you find a lovely one when the time is right :)

Yep,  Ive had highlights for as long as I can remember  :)

Would you prefer to live in a really old house or a brand new one?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 10:10:36 AM
Really old - everytime. I love houses that need work and that you can out your own mark on. We currently live in a house thats about 20 years old and wouldn't be my first choice  :P Its in a nice area though and its allowed us to get on the property ladder - and after 7 years, i'm getting it to feel cosy and like 'ours'. But a house with character everytime  :)

Whats your least favourite household chore?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 15, 2011, 11:00:36 AM
I would love a dog but I'm allergic to them, it's always been the one thing in my life that I can't achieve :(. I've even been affected by the few hypoallergenic dogs that I've met



Hoovering as i have an irrationalfear of them, I run away whimpering like a little scared puppy lol

Do you like the day or the night ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 11:05:23 AM
thats really sad especially if you're still allergic to the ones that are supposed to be OK  :(

The day time, especially just as the sun comes up :) although I do also love the nights where we have a cloudless sky and a full moon

Do you like snakes or spiders?  I know, weird question but I'm out of ideas!

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 12:30:03 PM
Not really either.... I prefer snakes to spiders! But to me, thats like saying do you prefer stinging nettles or thornes  :P (I prefer thornes...)

I guess theres loads of questions that can be re-used if we want to keep this thread going?

What was the last thing you bought?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 12:48:43 PM
you're right,  I cant remember half of the ones we started with!

some bandages and first aid stuff for the dog's first aid box!

whats your favourite book?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 01:03:24 PM
I know I've already answered this - so I won't bang on about The Little Girl That Lives Down The Lane again  :P Since I've had depression I have read quite a few books written by people who have suffered from it - The Bell Jar, Girl Interrupted (The film is very good too), The Trick Is To Keep Breathing (awesome Garbage song too!) and Its a Funny Kind of Story (Again, amazing film) - they have all been very good in thier different ways, I think we're all a pretty creative bunch!  ;)

Girl, Interrupted trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4-GD1VqdOA

The Trick Is To Keep Breathing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjeoXDHpH_c

Its a Funny Kind of Story trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_pq7HKc9z8

Ooooh - thats a question!  :P Would you class yourself as creative?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 01:07:33 PM
Hmmm difficult one,  I like art, sewing and making things but I'm not very good (or at least I dont think so), I suppose I'd have to say yes I think.

Apart from feeling better (which is what we all want) what would make you happy right now?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 01:17:52 PM
If someone was to come in - tell me not to worry about working tommorow night, do my ironing AND ring the holiday cottage people for me! That would do it  ;)

Apart from this illness, what are you most afraid of?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 01:49:06 PM
Spiders!

Apart from the bathroom whats the first thing you do in the morning?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 01:51:16 PM
Come down and talk to Benji  :P Then usually make a coffe, switch the computer on until I decide its about time I got dressed...

Do you have a crush on anyone famous?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 01:59:21 PM
Not these days but years ago I rather fancied Clint Eastwood (in the days of his spaghetti westerns)

What colour are your living room walls?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 02:07:18 PM
Rather boringly... cream. But they have to be because our house had an extension built before we bought it and there is no natural light source in the room - even in the day you have to have a lamp on. I have painted the coving and all the woodwork a nice coffee-ish brown colour though, to add a bit of interest!

Would you say you are clumsy?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 02:21:50 PM
 I have cream in the bedrooms so I dont think its boring!  I think its fun jazzing up a neutral colour with accessories

I dont think so

Did you like school?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 02:24:39 PM
 I have cream in the bedrooms so I dont think its boring!  I think its fun jazzing up a neutral colour with accessories

I dont think so

Did you like school?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 02:36:27 PM
No... I liked 'school' as in art, history and english - that was fine. But the people at school and what it resulted in - no way. I didn't have a great time at school and had to be home tutored for the two GCSE's I could take because I got to the point where I physically couldn't get out of bed in the morning because my anxiety over bullying was so extreme.  :-[

What was the last album you bought?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 02:47:20 PM
I hated school too  :(

Something new age and relaxing, cant temember the name right now

Do you prefer a bath or to shower?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 02:48:46 PM
Baths... although I always get in them and think 'Right, what do I do now??' I find it very hard to do nothing....

Do you like rain?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 15, 2011, 03:26:26 PM
i love the rain, i love the cold, but only if its not windy

what have you done today ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 03:30:41 PM
I read in tne bath  ;)

Pulled up some bindweed that was on the fence, did a little tidying indoors and went to work, since I got home I've been too tired to do anything else but its been a reasonably positive day, that makes 2 in a row  ;D

What are you planning to do this evening?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 15, 2011, 03:42:48 PM
nothing but sit and do nothing and occasionally come on here a few times. just like every night  :-[

do you sing in the shower ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 03:44:30 PM
I sing everywhere  :P Actual songs or made up songs...  :-\ Usually when I'm alone though!

Whats for tea?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 15, 2011, 03:47:52 PM
probably nothing again.

what did you have for dinner ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 03:57:51 PM
Corned beef, chips and beans for OH, no corned beef for me being veggie

Do you prefer gold or silver?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 04:22:15 PM
Silver - I'm not a huge fan of gold generally. My engagement ring is silver and do will be my wedding band when we finally get to being married  :)

What is the most treasured thing you own?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 04:28:59 PM
I prefer silver too :)

This may sound daft but a recipe book an elderly lady wrote out for me in beautiful handwriting and gave to me one Christmas

Do you prefer cold, crisp winter days or hot summer days?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 04:53:00 PM
No, that doesnt sound odd at all, it sounds pretty amazing actually!  :)

Cold, crisp winter ones - I cant wait until winter now!!

Do you like to bake?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 15, 2011, 05:01:09 PM
Yes I love to bake when I have the energy, I love most types of cooking

Which brings me to the question, what sort of cake or pudding do you like best?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 15, 2011, 06:05:43 PM
I'm not really a massive fan of chocolate cake - I prefer lighter fruitier things, but my mum gave me a recipie last year for chocolate upside down cake  :o Oh. My. GOD - it is amazing!! I tend to chuck some dried fruit in there too, break up the chocolateness and coffeness a bit! Although the spoon of clotted cream helps too!  ;) I also love creme brulee.... thats usually what I order if we're out and its on the menu  :)

What was the last film you watched?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 16, 2011, 05:51:28 AM
Cant remember what it was called, it had Bruce Willis in it and was about a boy that saw ghosts.  Just googled it , its The Sixth Sense.


do you like experimenting when you're cooking?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 16, 2011, 06:45:39 AM
Mmmhmm! I have recipe books... but don't tend to use them  :-\ I tend to just  add things as I'm going along.... most of the time it works!! We've had some pretty interesting cake concoctions  ;) Peanut butter and jam, rhubarb and ginger, apple and kahula, apricot and cinnamon, lemon and kiwi.... I'd love to open up a little cake/book shop/cafe.... would be brilliant!  :) Gonna make some butterscotch cupcakes later for a request for a guy at Chris' work and a pretty basic strawberry Victoria sponge for us - well, that's the plan!

I'm the same with normal cooking too....

Apart from getting better, what's your ultimate dream?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 16, 2011, 07:04:01 AM
mmmmm I love peanut butter and jam  :P

To live in a small wooded area in a house with lots of glass, next to a loch in Scotland, no worries or hassles!

Whats your favourite bit of technology - or perhaps whats the bit that you'd least like to do without!
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 16, 2011, 01:06:33 PM
That sounds heavenly!  :)

I think probably my cooker  :P but also, music - I couldn't live without music....

Do you have suagr in tea?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 16, 2011, 01:32:50 PM
I only drink herbal tea (hate the taste of 'normal' tea) and, no, I dont have sugar in it

Is there a colour that helps you feel calmer?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 16, 2011, 02:09:52 PM
No... I don't think there really is...

What is your job - and do you still enjoy it?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 16, 2011, 02:12:06 PM
I manage a small business, I dont really like it and I'm sure the stress there contributes to my depression

Do you have a bird table/feeders?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 16, 2011, 02:19:57 PM
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 16, 2011, 02:27:02 PM
Eugh, I hate rats :(

Retail therapy I think

Do you like walking barefoot?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 16, 2011, 02:30:23 PM
I do  :) Chris always tells me off because i end up with dirty feet  :-\ But.... unless its cold, I don't tend to bother with socks.

What is your favourite animal?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 16, 2011, 02:43:23 PM
Difficut one, I cant decide between dogs or horses

Do you believe in the supernatural/ghosts etc?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 16, 2011, 03:42:58 PM
I do, definitely.... I believe in pretty much the whole lot! Ghosts, spirits, angels, faeries, leprechauns.... All helps in my crazy imagination ::)   

What has made you laugh today?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 16, 2011, 03:51:57 PM
Thinking of a  silly video clip a friend showed me Sunday

Is there a craft you'd like to try or learn?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 16, 2011, 04:36:55 PM
I'm always up for anything creative. At the moment I'm getting into pickling  (not myself... already quite the expert in that field  ;)) and making jams, chutneys etc. I've done a few jars of bits and pieces previously, but I'm gonna get some major jarring on before Christmas!

Candle making really interests me, as does making stained glass too... I loved 'Kirsties homemade home' But the trouble was, everything she did, I was like - I wanna do it!!!  ::)

What was your favourite subject at school?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 16, 2011, 04:53:49 PM
I had hoped to do some chutney this autumn but I really dont think I'm going to have the energy, I did some pickled onions earlier in the year but they're not ready to eat yet, I did make some tinctures and glycerites in the spring, with a bit of luck I may get around to making some with the elderberries or hawthorn if the birds have left any by the time we get back from Yorkshire.  I rather fancy having a go at stained glass too :)

I think English Language

Which subject did you like least at school?!

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 16, 2011, 06:26:27 PM
Sounds really good - I haven't progressed to tinctures yet though and I have no idea what glycerites is? Chris brought home some elderberry 'wine' from work yesterday - a guy makes them and the ones we have had so far have been pretty awesome... apparently this one is very potent though!!

PE definitely! I am not a 'sporty' girl by any stretch of the imagination  :P

What has been the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 17, 2011, 04:59:46 AM
Glycerites are made by putting fruits or herbs into glycerine for a few weeks on a sunny windowsill then straining, all the goodness stays in the glycerine, things like elderberries have lots of vit C and anti-viral properties so its good to take in winter to fend off colds etc.

Fell in love with David (OH)

would you fancy a holiday on a canal long boat?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 17, 2011, 07:37:43 AM
Ah... interesting  :)

I really would! (Is that an offer?  :P)

Do you have any habits that others find 'quirky'?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 17, 2011, 08:54:16 AM
So would I, the question only came to mind as a friend is selling up everything and buying a long boat to live on which sounds incredibly mad but wonderful!

LOL everyone think I'm weird in lots of ways!  Liking jam with marmite is one of them

Is your handbag/wallet full of clutter?





Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 17, 2011, 09:37:11 AM
Yes! I have quite a big bag.... since friday, it has contained - amongst many recipets, tickets etc...

Books to read
Notebooks
Pens
My purse
Chris' wallet
My mums coat
Nappy sacks
Rocks
Keys
A packet of aniseed balls with only one ball in
Moist toilet tissue
Dog lead
Steampunk style gloves
CD's
Umbrella
Fruit
Meatballs and spagetti
Car stereo
A big bottle of juice
Hairbrush
Chocolate

....and I dont even have children yet!!!  :P

What is your favourite cd that you own at this moment in time?



Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 17, 2011, 09:54:52 AM
OMG!!!

Relax and inspire - its new age music and I play it a lot when I'm depressed, normally I'd go for Queen or Bowie's greatest hits or similar.

What plans do you have for the weekend?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 17, 2011, 03:05:01 PM
Wales  ^-^ Now I have got work out of the way I can get excited!!! Although I can't get hold of the owners  ::) I do have a hair appointment tomorrow afternoon which Chris can take me too, but I'll have to get the bus back  :-\ But after that.....  ^-^ I CAN'T WAIT!!

What is your idea of a perfect evening in?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 17, 2011, 03:22:14 PM
Sounds great, what part are you going  to?

having a hot bath with something in it that smells really nice then curling up on the sofa with a good book or film and possibly a large bar of chocolate!

Are you a hoarder?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 17, 2011, 06:04:32 PM
i used to hoard land rover and wheels n tires, at one point i had 5 land rovers and 8 sets of wheels and tires, not including the sets on the land rovers


what's your best feature ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 17, 2011, 06:29:35 PM
You and my husband definitely have something in common, he has 2 huge sheds full of motor parts that "might come in handy one day"!

I think my hair

What do you eat for a treat?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 17, 2011, 06:37:58 PM
 choccy biscuits, yummy :)
 
 starsky and hutch or doyle and bodie aka the professionals ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 17, 2011, 06:46:04 PM
im sure im worse, one corner of my bedroom has a few land rover parts and ummm well part of the dineing room has a set of bucket seats some harnesses, an intercooler and a few other things :P  the sheds also full :D

ok umm i think there before my time but i do know of starsky and hutch


what was the last thing that you impulse brought ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 17, 2011, 08:04:22 PM
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 18, 2011, 05:14:46 PM
i love popcorn too  )_+

not really too sure, my memory is terrible now, dont really have much of a long or short term memory now :(

i can sort of remember the day i brought my lexus soarer, it has always been a dream car, never thought i would own the rarest model of all.


what would be your ideal first date ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 18, 2011, 06:42:41 PM
Tescos do Sweet AND Salty popcorn - all mixed up in one big delicious bag. It is AMAZING!  ;)

I think it would be an afternoon/evening one! Perhaps meet up somewhere like a zoo or a museum so that theres something to break the ice, then maybe dinner in a nice quiet cosy pub, then an evening of films and drinking games!  :) Thats when you really get to know someone

What websites are on your daily list of ones to look at?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 18, 2011, 06:59:44 PM
traditional gypsy cob association website, and any other horsey ones too.

   whats your favourite flavour of crisps?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 18, 2011, 07:06:26 PM
Walkers ready salted! I'm a simple kinda girl  :P

What was the last thing you bought online?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 18, 2011, 07:14:54 PM
oo that sounds nice i wanna try it


hmmm not really sure, i seem to buy something daily, ill have to check my ebay account.   2 land rover prop shaft uj's

whats the first thing you do in the morning ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 18, 2011, 07:18:00 PM
Talk to Chris when he's getting ready for work (whether I'm awake or not he seems to get some sort of conversation out of me!) then snuggle back down and go back to sleep for an hour  :P

Any plans for the weekend?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 18, 2011, 07:27:56 PM
your recycling questions again and im about to recycle an answer.   work  ::)

whats your favorite kitchen utensil ?      i have no imagination and the first thing i saw was my herbal tea with a spoon sticking out.  i like spoons  but sporks are deffinitly my favorite
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 18, 2011, 08:16:02 PM
I've got a thing thats sort of between a wooden spoon and a spatula, brilliant for stir frys :)

Do you read a daily paper?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 18, 2011, 08:20:33 PM
i love stir fry with nicely marinated tofu

nope, i avoid anything to do with news


what's your most prized possession ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 18, 2011, 08:29:35 PM
What sort of marinade?

 a recipe book an elderly lady wrote out for me in beautiful handwriting

Do you wear hats?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 19, 2011, 05:05:15 AM
It's normally soy sauce, onion, a random collection of herbs, garlic and chillies.  But it's never the same each time

Only a hard hat for work oh n a crash helmet when I used to do motersports


Baths or showers ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 19, 2011, 05:58:25 AM
sounds yummy  :)

depends on the time of year,  baths in the winter, showers in the summer!

Whats the weather like outside now?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 19, 2011, 06:40:21 AM
Very foggy and a bit chilly....

What time did you wake up thismorning?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 19, 2011, 06:45:00 AM
about ten past 5  :(

What shop do you like best?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 19, 2011, 07:02:07 AM
Any bookshop! Or stationary/art shop... The smaller and cosier of each, the better! I'm such a geek  />.

What was the last book you read?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 19, 2011, 07:45:11 AM
Dunno but the last book I skimmed through was a programming book for a control panel I was working on.   Wow I have an excluding life, everything is work for me :(

Do you have lots of shoes?   ( male answer no, female answer yes :p )
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 19, 2011, 08:02:09 AM
Haha you still have a sense of humour! A lot of 'well' people don't have that  :P

Well, I am a girl, and no!

I have walking boots, boots which are quite steam-punkish and cool that i have had for years and wear everywhere  :), old work shoes, which are small black lace up boots, new work shoes - which are flat and very practical, a pair of heeled studded black boots for when I need to dress up - oh and some sandals and 'garden shoes' which I originally bought for glastonbury as then are bright green  />. oh... and wellies.... (its slowly mounting up...)

Do you own any film soundtracks?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 19, 2011, 10:29:05 AM
LOL, I dont have many shoes either ;)

I think the only one I have is Braveheart, oh I think also one from one of the spaghetti westerns, possibly The Good The Bad and The Ugly

What magazines do you read?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 19, 2011, 10:35:23 AM
I don't really anymore - I prefer a good book! But if I am somehwere any buy a magazine it would be Q or Bizarre or Marie Claire  :)

Does anyone know any good remedies for gets rid of colds and sore throats quickly?  :P (Apart from honey and lemon, I'm drinking that by the bucketload!)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 19, 2011, 10:47:52 AM
For sore throats I make cadromom syrup, it always works for me, and its good for coughs too, I will also drink lots of fluids and take things with high vit C like rosehip syrup.

Cardomom syrup:

Crush 2tbs green cardomoms, put in saucepan with 2 cups water and simmer gently with lid for about half an hour.  Strain out cardomom and return liquid to pan, add 1 cup sugar and bring to the boil, boil till reduced by half and syrup begins to thicken, add the juice of half a lemon, bring to the boil again, remove from heat and bottle.  Take 1 tsp as needed.

What sort of sweets do you like best?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 19, 2011, 11:15:03 AM
I think I shall have to give that a go, thanks  :)

I love Jelly babies  :) I used to have a massive obsession with extra strong mints.... but now I just do like a 'normal' person and keep a pack in my bag  :P I'm not really a big sweetie type of person - more nuts and popcorn or crisps (occasionaly)

Who is your favourite comedian?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 19, 2011, 11:22:47 AM
Again showing my age, Dave Allen (think he's probably dead now)


What smell do you love?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 19, 2011, 02:02:17 PM
 freshly baled hay. whats your favourite breed of dog ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 19, 2011, 03:04:04 PM
Australian Shepherd  ^-^ (But then I am biased...) I like big dogs, malmutes, alsations, huskies, akitas, st bernards....  ^&*

What song lyrics sum up an event in your life right now?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 19, 2011, 09:18:04 PM
oh my sense of humor will never leave me, i wont let it, its always been a little strange though  :P

dizzee rascal, bonkers comes to mind at first but i have to say that today hasn't been a good day for me, other than for about an hour.  so i think im going to go with hi-gate, i can hear voices  :(

but happily this forum makes me think of  olive, your not alone :)

what are you thinking about right now ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 20, 2011, 06:25:11 AM
  i,m thinking, i wish i could just take too the road and travel round the country. theres so much of this beautiful country too see and visit. i would like too visit all the the stone circles :)
heres one for the grease monkey, scooby or evo ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 20, 2011, 07:58:34 AM
Visiting all the stone circles sounds wonderful, something I 'd love to do  :)

Can't answer that one so will have to pass!
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 20, 2011, 10:05:51 AM
definitely an evo due to the un natural flat four in the scoobie,  real engines are v shaped :P for me the flat for is just half a saggy v8 :P

another one for petrol heads

feul injection or carbs ??

if your not a petrol head then  whats your favorite possession ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 20, 2011, 12:27:01 PM
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 20, 2011, 12:31:41 PM
Just realised I should have asked a question  :-[ !!

If you could meet anyone you wanted to who would it be and why ? Depina XX
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 20, 2011, 08:15:44 PM
 it would probably be maurice wilks.  the genius behind the land rover design thats basically the same after 60 years.  i would love to know a few reasons behind little details that not many people notice but are very important to me.
hmm i cant seem to get land rovers of my mind at the moment  :)   i cant actually think of anyone else at the moment  ::)  might have to get back to this question later


whats your pet hate ??

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 21, 2011, 06:02:46 AM
 rude  and ignorant people. 

john wayne or clint eastwood??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 21, 2011, 02:40:31 PM
Clint Eastwood  :)

What is your favourite Sunday roast?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 21, 2011, 04:25:33 PM
umm pasta bake lol, thats what i had for christmas lunch this year haha. i dont really eat roast havent eaten meat for over 14 years and im not a huge fan of roast vegetables either but i do love a yorkshire pudding  :)

what super hero power would you choose and why ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 21, 2011, 05:23:40 PM
Superman, probably because I grew up with him and I never really liked batman who was around at te same timr

Chinese or Indian food?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 21, 2011, 06:00:47 PM
Hmmm that is tricky! I do love a good curry, but you cannot beat some seaweed and some crispy chilli beef.... I'm gonna go Chinese  :)

Where in the world would you love to travel to if both your illness and money would let you?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 21, 2011, 06:14:57 PM
I think New Zealand, everyone I know thats been there says its an amazing place

Would you fancy a world cruise in a posh liner?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 21, 2011, 07:06:51 PM
nope dont like water

coke or pepsi ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 21, 2011, 07:33:28 PM
Coke every time

Do you have any piercings?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 21, 2011, 08:34:52 PM
never intensionally,  but a bit of wire though a finger, a dry sky slope bristle thing inside my knee, glass thought my little finger, still a small piece of that in my hand, a bet involving a stapler and hmm im sure there's others lol, im very accident prone. but nothing proper and only the glass that i know is still in there, along with a few random small bits of metal  :o

what's your earliest memory ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 22, 2011, 06:20:26 AM
Saying goodbye to my bedroom in our old house before we moved into a church - must have been about... 2 / 2 and a half...

When was the last time you were on a plane?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 22, 2011, 07:52:30 AM
when I was 15 or 16 (I hate flying - another one of my phobias)

Whats the weather like where you are?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 22, 2011, 08:32:08 AM
It's loverly, I'm sat on the bonnet of my van in the shade under a tree watching some birds, haveing a bit of a relax for once :).  But paranoid I'm going to get s**t on by them lol

what's your favourite smell??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 22, 2011, 08:39:35 AM
LOL, a bit of bird poo wont hurt too much  ;)

I think newly baled hay :)

If you were well and money was no object what sort of holiday would you like?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 22, 2011, 10:43:49 AM
Drive my land rover up to Scotland and take the ferry to Greenland and drive to the ice caves for a nice little walk.

Do you own a spork ?    I've lost my stainless steel one :(
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 22, 2011, 10:47:36 AM
that sounds amazing :)

no, Ive heard of them but dont possess one

do you like salad or prefer a hot meal?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 22, 2011, 03:13:28 PM
a proper meal definitely. roast beef and yorkshire puds, yum yum

who,s your favourite 007 bond ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 22, 2011, 03:23:30 PM
Roger Moore

What sort of TV programes do you like to watch?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 22, 2011, 03:53:40 PM
used to be stuff like csi, ncsi n that sort of thing

what are you doing right now ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 22, 2011, 04:08:04 PM
I've just finished loading half of all the photos we took onto Facebook - I'm not sure anyone would want to trudge through 482(!!) pictures!!  :P

have you any strange 'likes' that no-one else gets?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 22, 2011, 04:28:12 PM
Omg that must have taken ages  :o

I have some food tastes that David (and some others) think are weird, marmite and jam, cheese and chocolate digestives, salt on strawberries for example

What are you having for dinner?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 22, 2011, 05:29:52 PM
omg i do marmite and jam, i thought i was the only one,  digestives with cheese and tomato toasted is nice too
before i stopped eating normally i would always have strange stuff. i would eat an ice lolly while eating a meal , umm i know theres others but i cant think of them

im eating a few handfulls of sunflower, pumpkin, sesamie, flax, hemp and rape seeds


has anything good come from your illness ??    for me as ive worked so hard all the time ive been given a nice pay rise :)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 22, 2011, 05:42:41 PM
I had some pumpkin seeds with my salad tonight :)   That was after chopping the tip of my thumb off while cutting up the cabbage :(  using a knife when really tired and a bit spaced out wasnt the best of ideas :(  blood everywhere too   ::)

I think I've learned I need to look after myself better, just hope I can remember once I get well again.

Do you watch the x factor?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 22, 2011, 06:35:38 PM
Yeah.... I always say I'm not going to, but end up doing so  ::) Gary Barlow is definetly getting better with age....

what would you save if your house was on fire?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 22, 2011, 06:37:40 PM
ouch, i did that a few months ago at work and fixed it with tape, was like normal to stubborn to go to hospital even after it was still bleeding after 7 hours,  steri strips sorted that out with some help of a lot of orange spray stuff the chemist told me to use after i refused to listen to them about going to hospital

i have no idea, hmm probably as many land rover parts as possible  ::)

do you mind watching films with subtitles??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 22, 2011, 06:43:00 PM
I LOVE watching films with subtitles  :P I love listening to different languages, especially French! I bought A French CD today that we found in the cottage whilst we were away - have no idea whats they are singing about, but it sounds so beautiful.

What was the last thing you made?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 22, 2011, 07:01:18 PM
im constantly makeing things at work but for me i made a bracket for my land rover :) was only a bit of 12mm stainless with 2 small holes and a big hole.

what are you thinking about now ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 22, 2011, 08:44:19 PM
You Cornish ! I guess you are really into landrovers? Ha Ha. Also thinking about the people on the forums and wishing there was a magic pill we could all take to make us better!

What exercise makes you feel good?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 22, 2011, 08:53:14 PM
yes i am, i used to be far worse. only just managed to start making attempts to do a bit of work on her to get her back on the road.
that pill sounds like a good idea :)

hmm the most strenuous exercise i used to do a lot was land rover trailing, walking the sections is tiring and driving it with huge tyres through deep mud with no power steering builds up a bit of sweat. i would end the day and i would be cold, wet, covered in mud and tired but it was so much fun and getting a clear section or completing a punch on a section that was in the class above me made me feel really good :)

what are your plans for tomorrow ??

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 22, 2011, 09:11:25 PM
I think when you can en the day exhausted but smiling - its a good day!!  :)

I have the doctor in the morning... not really sure how to handle that one  :-\ Then I've gotta have a bit of a tidy up because my parents are coming down so they can come to an appointment with me on Wednesday.

What are you really proud of?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 23, 2011, 02:11:42 PM
Can no-one think of anything they are proud of?  :-\

You all should be so proud of yourselves - we're all here fighting an illness that has the ability to kill us and we are waking up every single day and fighting it just by getting out of bed in the morning! Yes - its bloody hard, but we're all still doing it and that is something to really really take pride in! Also, the fact that you are all posting on here - you are opening up and sharing how you are feeling with the rest of us - you are supporting all of us even if you don't feel like it somedays but you are, just knowing we are not alone in this gives us the strength we need to stick two fingers up to this illness and keep fighting it!! 

Not to mention the fact that some of you have children, produce beautiful artwork, are still continuing to go to work through all of this and have got into uni. I know that each of those things are terrifying in their own right - but you have done that!! Please guys- take credit for the things you achieve in life, even if it is tiny because we need all of the stength we can get - and a lot of that strength has to come from within.

Anyway - back to making my bakewell cupcakes! I'll let someone else figure out a question - sorry if it seems like a bit of a rant!

 &*( to all of you xx
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 23, 2011, 02:49:15 PM
Its strange, things I would have been proud of in the past seem insignificant nowdays, I suppose if there is anything it would be that I was verging on alcoholic 18 months ago and have been given the strength not to touch the stuff any more.

Do you loke walking in the woods?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 23, 2011, 03:13:13 PM
 :) I know its the depression, but please remember that the things that you once had pride in are significant. They haven't changed, its just this damned illness and how it makes our mind black out any piece of goodness.

I love walking in the woods - one of my favourite things to do. Especially when it is raining, or has been raining and we can go with our wellies and get all muddy  :)

What is your favourite flavour cupcake?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 23, 2011, 03:24:06 PM
I love the woods too, I must find the oomph to get out there and do some walking when I'm not so tired in the afternoons after work.

Well, I'm allergic to wheat and I dont eat eggs so I dont really eat normal cake  ::) but its possible to make very respectable sponge cakes without either, I think the best ones I've ever tasted were ones a friend made with elderflower and rose flavoured icing, sounds weird but tastes fantastic  :P

Oops forgot the question, do drink out of mugs or cups?

PS how did your appointment go?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 23, 2011, 03:42:37 PM
Oooo it sounds interesting! I've just made some Bakewell ones - I've had a few recently that haven't gone quite to plan, but I fail to see how you can go wrong with a Bakewell cake!! Thats a bummer being allergic to wheat  :-[ Guess it makes you pretty inventive though!!

I drink out of mugs.... I do like a nice posh teacup, but judging by my track record of breaking things, its not generally a good idea - I'm like that woman out of Keeping Up Appearances!! Chris actually bought me a plastic mug at Christmas to go in my stocking  ::) I am quite particular when it comes to which mug to use though.... I have my favourites for tea, coffee and herbal tea.... apparently thats a bit 'strange' but drinks taste different out of different mugs!!  :-\

My appointment went ok thankyou - I was in and out within 5 minutes, said he thinks everything is going ok and as I havent got any worse he's gonna keep me on the same meds. He did give me a bit of a look when I said I was still working nights, but I explained that the day shift was just too much at the moment and I am limiting myself to one night a week - he seemed quite happy with that. So just gotta wait to hear from the Mental Health Team now - I think the doctor has given up trying to cure my nightmares  :-[ Said perhaps they will have some sort of answer... *shrugs* xx

Do you have 'human' conversations with any of your pets?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 23, 2011, 03:55:00 PM
I use spelt flour which is the nearest I can get to wheat without affecting me too much, I quite like experimenting, I've even managed eggless macaroons that tasted like the real thing!

Different drinks definitely taste different in different recepticals :)

Sounds like your doc is fairly pleased, just hope you dont have to wait too long for the mental health team to get in touch, I've no answer to nightmares but I do know cheese is supposed to make people dream more vividly if they eat it in the evening.

Oh most definitely, I chatter away to them all the time :)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 23, 2011, 08:40:13 PM
i havent got any pets, but ive talked to the bathroom window one night as i was sure there was a witch in the glass.  no idea why :(

whats your favorite place ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 23, 2011, 08:50:58 PM
Perranuthnoe  ;) Cornish - you should take a drive down there and see it, its such a lovely peaceful place.

Do you prefer jam or marmite in croissants?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 23, 2011, 08:56:22 PM
i did a bit of work down the road from there in marazion, dont think ive been there though. will do someday

both at the same time, umm well i like them like that on toast, hmm actually i just eat them plain most of the time. dunno when i last had one though

what do you like to have for breakfast ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 23, 2011, 09:01:15 PM
My sister used to live in Marazion  :) I love it - but its a bit busy for me  :P

Hmmm... well, coffee is a must
I'm getting a bit naughty with food again.... as in, not really eating much. If I do though its usually something sweet, a waffle or something similar

Do you like taking photographs?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 23, 2011, 09:30:20 PM
deffinitly a must for me,caffine affects me now though :( im the same at the moment, diet of seeds and oat cakes at the moment :(   got my self drinking pure fruit just too though :)

not really


do you ever eat things that arent food ??    i only ask as i eat lolly pops all the time and i end up eating the cardboard sticks  ::)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 24, 2011, 04:56:41 AM
I go mad taking them from time to time, I do try to remember to take a camera when I go for walks but often forget  ::)

what do you eat on crumpets?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 24, 2011, 05:00:42 AM
Marmite, I love the stuff

what's the last thing you laughted at?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 24, 2011, 05:12:31 AM
Oh yum, so do I  :P

Something daft one of the dogs did :)

Do you buy lots of stuff on line?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 24, 2011, 02:32:02 PM
Marmite makes me happy!  ^-^

I'm terrible for buying stuff online.... buying stuff in general!  :P But books and cds....  :-\ My weakness I'm afraid, especially books....

Do you like spicy food?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 24, 2011, 02:53:53 PM
Yes unless its searingly hot.

When you were a child what did you want to do when you grew up?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 24, 2011, 04:29:57 PM
A vet  :)

I actually used to play vets and draw scratches on my arms that obviously I would have got from all the animals....  ::)

Either that or a nurse, but I think every little girl goes through a phase of wanting to be a nurse...

Have you ever been to Glastonbury?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 24, 2011, 04:44:26 PM
I wanted to be a vet too :)

Sadly not :(

Did anything nice happen today?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 24, 2011, 05:13:00 PM
Yes I met a friend and had a walk and had coffee in a cafe, fell asleep this afternoon though. On the whole a good day.

How do you celebrate Christmas?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 24, 2011, 05:16:07 PM
That does sound good :)

Erm, I dont!

Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 24, 2011, 05:33:01 PM
Savoury - I sometimes have a massive craving for sweets, but its not long before I start to feel a little poorly.

Do you pronounce scones as in owns or as in gones?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 24, 2011, 05:55:35 PM
Gones

Is where you live minimalistic or full of momentos and ornaments?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 24, 2011, 06:15:06 PM
It's cosy  :) Not so many ornaments but lots of books, blankets, candles, rugs, comfy sofas....

I couldn't do minimalistic, I'm not organised enough!!

What are your plans for tomorrow? 
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 24, 2011, 06:34:50 PM
I've got a treat booked for the morning, I'm going for an aromatherapy treatment :)

Are you scared of creepy crawlies?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 24, 2011, 07:01:14 PM
Lucky you - enjoy and relax, you definetly deserve it  :)

I am... spiders and moths really. I'm trying to overcome the spiders one because i don't mind little ones and I don't mind dandly-long legs, so I just gotta sort myself out with the big ones!  :-\ Moths though.... *shudders* They are too hairy!! I don't like them one bit....

What is your favourite board game?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 24, 2011, 08:51:21 PM
monopoly

whats the last pleasant dream you remember ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 24, 2011, 09:15:27 PM
Gosh I hardly ever remember dreams and I do not like dreaming as if I do I feel really tired as if I have actually done what I dreamt about. Sorry can't remember a nice dream !! :-[

What is your favourite wild animal?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 25, 2011, 03:21:03 AM
 probably the barn owl. there so beautiful and graceful.

jam or marmalade ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 25, 2011, 06:27:43 AM
Jam - I'm gonna make some damson jam today  :)

How did you come up with your screenname?
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Munchroom on August 25, 2011, 06:29:46 AM
Our dog howls when the phone rings.... sometimes, once we get the pause before they speak, we just hold the phone out to the dog  ;)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 25, 2011, 03:28:47 PM
 its a relations name, who has sadly passed on.

blue peter or magpie,   
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on August 25, 2011, 03:37:32 PM
 there might not be too many oldies that remember magpie so which icecream? strawberry or vanilla?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 25, 2011, 03:41:36 PM
Cheeky!

Vanilla every time

When was the last time you just sat and watched nature?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 25, 2011, 04:16:32 PM
Sunday morning  :)

Who was the last person that made you smile?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 25, 2011, 04:29:20 PM
Someone I met Sunday but cant rmember their name!

Do you like classical music?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 25, 2011, 05:26:57 PM
yes i love it, used to get funny looks in my lexus as it was illegally loud when i drove hard but i would be driving along blasting out classical music :)

do you like humous ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 25, 2011, 05:39:31 PM
No I don't but I am not sure exactly what it is !!  :-[

What would prefer, to be a plumber,window cleaner, or a spy? and Why?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 25, 2011, 06:18:26 PM
A window cleaner ss I'd be out in the fresh air

What sorts of books do you read?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 25, 2011, 07:22:27 PM
land rover magazine, not really a book but umm well its made from paper and has words n stuff :)

whats your funniest memory ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 25, 2011, 07:29:38 PM
Why am I not surprised?  ;)

When someone I worked with told us how his cat set light to his kitchen, I know it desnt sound funny but the way he told it had the whole office roaring with laughter

Who do you admire the most?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 25, 2011, 08:05:41 PM
I can't think of one particular person but I do admire people that do what they believe in. I think its all too easy to sit back and let life wash over you - get a boring job that you drag yourself to every day, watch mainstream films all the time, listen to chart music because everyone else does, do whats expected of you and no more.... But those who find what they love and who are proud and happy to enjoy life the way they want to live it, really inspire me. People that are happy with themselves  :)

Do you love any really bad movies?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 25, 2011, 08:28:47 PM
i love kung pow, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yptxs4I7xBA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yptxs4I7xBA)
its funny bit its a terrible film really

what was the last film you watched ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 25, 2011, 08:53:09 PM
Starship Troopers, just now  :P

What was the last thing you ate?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 25, 2011, 09:03:52 PM
awesome film.

sesame seeds soaked in soy sauce


whats your favorite snack??    (bet its popcorn for munch :P )

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 25, 2011, 09:10:57 PM
Chocolate!

Barn dancing, ballroom or disco?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 25, 2011, 09:16:11 PM
only ever experienced disco, but i love hard dance and drum n bass/ dub step.  dancing to that is a wonderful work out :)

whats your favorite song ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 25, 2011, 09:21:25 PM
Yeah... popcorn  :-\

At the moment 'Ruin' by The Pierces - or 'Knights in White satin' by the Moody Blues, changes so often though

Are you a morning bird or a night owl?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 25, 2011, 09:24:39 PM
Not good in the morning, better at night usually but saying that I can get panicky at night.

What is you favourite item of clothing?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Gemma on August 25, 2011, 09:25:47 PM
The post changed before I could reply byt I'm still going to say my favourite song is Miley Cyrus- Simple Song. It's absolutley B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L because the lyrics speak mounds which I can releate to my life and how I feel day in day out. Seriously, listen to it and LISTEN TO THE WORDS. Its a stunning song and I swear you'll fall in love with it and probably feel better :) It actually made me cry :L :')

Anyway to answer your question Depina its my boyfriends hoodie from New York :') 

What are you most grateful for in your life?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 25, 2011, 09:31:23 PM
my rigger boots, there really comfy :) but i have big feet and the things are huge, there so big they have bloody pockets on them lol, made the mistake of putting my phone in them and jumped out of the land rover into a deep puddle....  oops lol

dam it, it changed again.

im most grateful for this forum and the members here, especially munchroom, she has been a wonderful help to me and i think i owe her my life


do you have any hobbies ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Gemma on August 25, 2011, 09:38:08 PM
Uh yeh a bit musical ;)
I play violin, guitat, piano and ukulele :)

How was your day? :)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 26, 2011, 05:40:37 AM
wow, that amazing  ;D

not wonderful yesterday :(

Whats your favourite colour?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 26, 2011, 05:36:10 PM
green, actually im not really sure but the first thing i saw was a green hedge out of the window :P


what's the first thing you do in the morning ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 26, 2011, 05:39:41 PM
LOL

Feed the dogs

What are you planning to do tomorrow?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 26, 2011, 05:52:03 PM
nothing all weekend hopefully, but ive just realized its a bank holiday, so thats 3 days of hell for me :(
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 26, 2011, 06:08:55 PM
Oh Cornish hope you have a better weekend than you are expecting XX
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 26, 2011, 06:13:14 PM
OOps forgot to ask a question!

A Holiday skiing (cold) or hot (sunbathing/walking etc ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 26, 2011, 06:16:42 PM
i like the cold and hate being too hot so thats an easy one for me.

do you have any unusual abilities ?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 26, 2011, 06:18:37 PM
oh and i didnt ask a question either so its ok
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 26, 2011, 06:25:56 PM
Have a good rest cornish, I'll keep my eye on line in case you need someone to talk to  &*(
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 26, 2011, 06:29:14 PM
Hi Cornish I don't like being cold. I feel like going into hibernation - Like a hedgehog !!

Do you prefer sailing, flying, bus or train?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 26, 2011, 06:33:20 PM
thanks zaf.

i prefer to drive my self or walk, i dont trust any sort of public transport.

do you have any tattoos ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 26, 2011, 06:35:31 PM
Yes I have two, a butterfly at the top of my leg and my chinese birth sign on my bikini line :)

Do you have any piercings?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 26, 2011, 06:42:57 PM
nothing at all,  did put a screwdriver though my arm one day does that count ??  i fixed it with tape :)


what's your favorite possession ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 26, 2011, 06:54:36 PM
Eugh, I dont think so  :o

A handwritten recipe book given to me by a very elderly lady :)

Do you drink herbal teas?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 27, 2011, 06:51:49 AM
I wasn't really online yesterday - consoling a very lovesick dog and doing a drawing inspired by Hope123  :) So have only just read through the last page or two. Cornish  &*( I was very moved by what you said you were grateful for - not sure how to get it across online!! But thankyou  :) Aswell as Zaf, I will also be keeping an eye out to make sure you are ok over the weekend.

I do drink herbal teas  :) I have a small cupboard FULL of different teas.... my favourite at the moment is 'Oriental spiced' Quite liquoricey! I have to admit though.... the craving for a good cup of coffee quite often wins over  ::)

Have you ever worked on Christmas Day?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 27, 2011, 07:00:08 AM
I honestly cant remember!

What are you hoping to do today?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 27, 2011, 07:59:56 AM
Have a bit of a tidy up in the garden and cause unparalleled destruction to our shed  />. (which has need ripping down ever since we moved in....)

What colour is your hair?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 27, 2011, 09:04:12 AM
Its brown but I have it coloured lighter

Do you like housework?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 27, 2011, 09:09:26 AM
When I'm feeling upto it, I love it.... I'm a bit of a clean freak  :-\ Monica Gellar from Friends.... Yup, thats me  :P

Are you growing any veg this year?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 27, 2011, 09:32:30 AM
Yes lots, but its got dreadfully weedy since I got ill this time as I cant find the energy to tackle it :(

What do you have for breakfat?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 27, 2011, 09:34:58 AM
How are you today Zaf?

I LOVE porridge and had it this morning.

Do you have an exercise routine?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 27, 2011, 09:43:41 AM
Improving thank you Dephina :)

When I feel well enough I'll do yoga between 15mins and a hour

Do you have a bird table?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 27, 2011, 01:42:11 PM
I wasn't really online yesterday - consoling a very lovesick dog and doing a drawing inspired by Hope123  :) So have only just read through the last page or two. Cornish  &*( I was very moved by what you said you were grateful for - not sure how to get it across online!! But thankyou  :)

well im not sure i actually expressed how thankful i am for your help :)


a table made from birds hmmm i dont think so  :P    but no i dont have a bird table, i would end up eating all the seeds anyway :P


what's your favorite snack ?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 27, 2011, 01:49:06 PM
It varies but at the moment Bombay mix

Do you like or hate thunder?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 27, 2011, 02:02:13 PM
Hahaha Cornish  :) You do make me laugh!

I love thunder - but only if Chris is home, if not I hate it and am terrified of it  :P

Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris or Steven Seagul? (Segal  ;))
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 27, 2011, 02:11:08 PM
ah good :)

pointless question imo, blatantly chuck norris.. chuck norris is awesome and he was a wold champion.  steven segal is now just a tubby old man.
do i have to start quoting chuck notice things to prove my point.

should oat cakes and urinal cakes be made to drop the cake part, there not bloody cakes ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 27, 2011, 02:26:21 PM
Ha Ha I definately agree with you Cornish, they're not!

And Hedgehog crisps -- how odd !

What animal are you most like and why?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 27, 2011, 02:47:40 PM
ive never heard of those

hmm possibly a monkey, im always the one that ends up clambering about climbing odd stuff at work to get a job done.  once had to put a socket on the side of a chimney about 12 stories up.  dont ask why, i still dont know and haven't seen anyone use it yet

hmm on that subject what's the strangest thing you've been asked to do ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on August 28, 2011, 03:40:03 PM
Well, recently in my job I have had to assure a 93 year old lady she is not pregnant and also this morning I had to check another ladies wrists we're with us and that we hadn't left them in her bedroom..... They are little things that are taken in good humour and made light of when dealing with a resident with dementia, but on reflection, it makes you realise how fortunate we are to not know what is around the corner. 

How do you plan to spend your bank holiday monday?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 28, 2011, 03:57:48 PM
I have the most enormous admiration that you care for elderly people with dementia.

Getting our little caravan ready for our trip to Yorkshire next weekend, a whole week on a site on the moors almost in the middle of nowhere :)

Do you like salad?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 28, 2011, 04:56:34 PM
yeap , would be rude not to as im a vegetarian :)

do you like sherbert ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 28, 2011, 05:10:52 PM
LOL, me too, when you're feeling better one day we'll have to swap recipes :)


Yes love it :)

Do you like the beach?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 28, 2011, 06:56:03 PM
i dont really do recipes, i just chuck stuff in n hope for the best now, used to do them though. umm actually i basically just eat seeds now  ::)

not really a huge fan, sand feels strange


what do you love to cook for your self ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 30, 2011, 07:57:44 AM
I tend to eat junk and comfort food when I'm feeling bad and crave for sweet and carbohydrate things.

I like to cook currys and other indian food like dhal

Where are you right now?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 30, 2011, 08:09:34 AM
Hi everyone ! I am in the dining room waiting for the water to warm up for a bath as I was bitten in the garden yesterday and feel that will help. Jumpy 'cause you know who- behind me all the time! AGH Rushing this ! Got up and fell over - really dizzy this morn. Hope all is well with you XX

Do you like playing Scrabble?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 30, 2011, 08:14:50 AM
Ouch, hope your bath makes you feel better :(

Yes I love it when my brain is working OK

Whats the weather like today?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 30, 2011, 09:29:26 AM
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Lol on August 30, 2011, 10:26:54 AM
The folk of the far away tree. So enchanting, my first experience of not being able to put a good book down, think I was about 6.

What is your favourite sweet treat?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 30, 2011, 10:56:39 AM
Cadburys chocolate - yummy !!

What food would you never eat?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 30, 2011, 11:32:43 AM
Meat, fish, fowl and eggs (I'm veggie) I also avoid dairy products most of the time.

Do you drink tea out of cups or mugs?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Lol on August 30, 2011, 12:24:41 PM
a good builders mug of hot steaming tea with soya milk and 1/2 a sugar ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

when was the last time you couldn't help but laugh out loud in public?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 30, 2011, 02:20:55 PM
Sunday 9th August, a friend showed me a funny video

What would your favourite meal be?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Lol on August 30, 2011, 02:48:04 PM
That is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO difficult! but at the moment just today I'm going to go with onion bhaji and pops and pics to start, a tali of chana daal, a mushroom and cashewnut curry I do, green corriander paneer and spinach curry, and a big warm naan bread all washed down with a frosty beer ice cold from the freezer. YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!  $%$


Who is your favourite comedian?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 30, 2011, 03:56:48 PM
That sounds delicious :)

Dave Allen ( now sadly dead)

Who is your favourite singer or band?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 31, 2011, 08:31:39 AM
I love Annie Lennox, Barbra Streisand, and loved the Beatles - shows how old I am AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG !!!!! and I like Will Youngs new album, what I have heard so far anyway.

What is your most ghastliest food ever? Not sure it's spelt right !!
 :P I feel sick
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 31, 2011, 09:15:58 AM
From my childhood, before I became veggie, liver YUK

What are you doing today?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 31, 2011, 11:53:10 AM
met friends for tea/coffee/chat at their house by the sea while husbands play snooker. Just Back

What was your best buy/bargain?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 31, 2011, 01:22:17 PM
Probably mt present car

Do you like watching documentaries?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 31, 2011, 05:27:21 PM
used to but i very rarely watch tv now.

whats your favorite sound ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 31, 2011, 05:49:36 PM
The sound of the sea and the waves

What do you hate the most at the dentist? :P
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on August 31, 2011, 06:24:01 PM
The drill :(

What can you see out ofbyour window?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on August 31, 2011, 07:34:31 PM
Where I am now? - A wall !!

What is your view?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on August 31, 2011, 07:35:54 PM
i can just about see a street light and its too bloody bright :(

favorite ice cream ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on September 01, 2011, 03:13:50 AM
vanilla.

whats your favourite chocolate milk chocolate or dark chocolate ?
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: seamie on September 01, 2011, 03:24:43 AM
 ive read the book smirfy but i didnt know they had made it into a film.

probably a song by the inspiral carpets called this is how it feels,
     this is how it feels to be lonely
    and this is how it feels to be small
   and this is how it feels,
     when your world means nothing at all
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 01, 2011, 05:21:29 AM
I'm not supposed to eat chocolate cos I have problems with caffiene but definitely milk chocolate

What colours do you wear the most often?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: smirfy21 on September 01, 2011, 02:03:37 PM
purply pinky greens.

what's been the highlight of your summer?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 01, 2011, 02:57:30 PM
Teaching two of our horses to work together as a pair in a carriage

What vegetable do you like best?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: smirfy21 on September 01, 2011, 03:06:45 PM
cucumber.

what is your favourite piece of art?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 01, 2011, 03:23:20 PM
It tends to depend on how I'm feeling, at the moment its The Key by Jackson Pollock, I like a lot of his work but occasionally if my brain is in turmoil a lot of it seems too 'busy' for my eyes and brain.

Do you like looking round stately homes?
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: smirfy21 on September 01, 2011, 04:39:10 PM
I don't get telemarketers but if I did I would be trying all of these!!
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: smirfy21 on September 01, 2011, 10:46:11 PM
Sylvia played by Gwyneth Paltrow. Amazing film!!!
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 02, 2011, 09:10:12 AM
Yes I do ,do you?

What stately homes have you visited?



Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 02, 2011, 09:23:44 AM
yes :)

Blickling, Oxburgh Hall, Felbrigg, Scone Palace,  I think another couple in Scotland that I cant remember their names, not sure about any others.

Do you like wandering round in churches and churchyards?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 02, 2011, 09:30:23 AM
I am interested in church's particularly the small old ones with lots of character,  Grave yards are interesting but not a place I would go to often !! Ha Ha!! ;)

Would you prefer the History museum in London or the one with the animals - can't remember the name -  :-\
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 02, 2011, 10:34:05 AM
Definitely the history museum

Do you bother to read newspapers?
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Zaf on September 02, 2011, 11:14:15 AM
It made me smile too, I'll have to send a copy to a frienw who's a cat lover :)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: seamie on September 02, 2011, 02:36:27 PM
no. yesterdays news today.

hot weather or cooler weather ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on September 02, 2011, 02:53:58 PM
cooler definitely.

strong or mild cheese ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 02, 2011, 03:30:08 PM
Strong  :-[

What are you hoping to do tomorrow?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 02, 2011, 03:36:25 PM
after friends calling for coffee at 11am we have guests coming to our B & B just for1 night. do you like boats/sailing?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 02, 2011, 03:41:07 PM
Absolutely and utterly not, i'm seasick even in a rowing boat :(

what do you look forward most that you can do when you get better?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 02, 2011, 06:36:28 PM
to travel and to do something really exciting like going to do volunteer work in Africa.

If you were a nurse, would you like to work with elderly patients, babies, or teenagers? - Why?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 02, 2011, 06:41:54 PM
Elderly patients but not sure why

Are you reading any books at the moment, if so what?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 02, 2011, 06:46:33 PM
Just started it yesterday,it is African Nights by Kuki Gallmann, a very interesting story of a woman and her family living in Kenya and all the animals they encounter and trials and tribulations, would recommend it.

What would you enjoy most if you were an eskimo?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 02, 2011, 06:50:52 PM
The northern lights

Do you watch soaps on TV?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 02, 2011, 07:06:51 PM
Not now - depressing !!

what would you change the most if you had your life over again?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on September 02, 2011, 07:21:21 PM
had a friday off work to go to a party on the thursday, was then asked at the last minuit to work friday. i ended up driveing and not drinking, the accident happened on the way to the party. should have said no to working and i wouldnt be like this anymore.

would you like to design and build your own house if you could ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 02, 2011, 07:33:24 PM
Yes, a very ecologically friendly one

What makes you smile?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Gemma on September 02, 2011, 08:23:46 PM
Summer... Sitting on a beach with legs buried in the sand, eyes closed and breathing in salty air and sun rays. Tranquility.

Who inspires you?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: smirfy21 on September 02, 2011, 09:25:46 PM
Gwyneth Paltrow is an inspiration.

if you could go and sit in one place in the world where would it be and why?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Gemma on September 02, 2011, 09:43:49 PM
The edge of the earth so I could stare at the sun in the day and stars in the night.. and see beautiful things about nature and remind myself why I'm here..

Love of your life is..?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: smirfy21 on September 02, 2011, 10:08:35 PM
never fallen in love.
love of your life???
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Gemma on September 03, 2011, 08:58:00 AM
Chocolate... Always reliable  ^-^

Best friend..?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on September 03, 2011, 10:27:48 AM
dont think i even have any friends any more :(

have you ever tried to trick your boiler ?   (peep show reference)   watch this before you answer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXmIOub22qI&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXmIOub22qI&feature=related)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Lol on September 03, 2011, 11:15:52 AM
We're your friends mate

That clip is hillarious!!!!!!

Have you ever ACTUALLY slipped on a banana skin? I have!!!  ::)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 03, 2011, 12:19:06 PM
HA HA and me too !

I must watch the clip

Have you ever ridden on an elephant?  (I have)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on September 03, 2011, 12:55:49 PM
ive slippped on one too.

nope :(


have you ever named an inanimate object ?  ive named most of my cars ::)
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 03, 2011, 01:11:51 PM
yes my teddies and dollies when I was little

What daring thing would yoou like to do?
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: venuti on September 03, 2011, 06:13:07 PM
They also made me laugh

Thanks
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Lol on September 20, 2011, 02:47:22 PM
Be able to dance with people at a party without feeling like an utter twonk with no clothes on and a big neon sign hanging over me that says 'look at me I'm embarrassed!'

What would your dream celebrity dinner party list (max 5) be. dead or alive.
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on September 20, 2011, 08:02:37 PM
Ooo thats a good one...

I'm gonna go for:

Charlie Brooker
Eva Green
Jim Morrison
Michael Palin
and um.... Zooey Deschanel

 :)

What is your guilty pleasure?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Lol on September 21, 2011, 11:04:19 AM
Cheesey Quavers by the family-packfull at the moment. It's the MSG!!! I can't get enough it's a shocker. With a beer.

If you were invisible for a day what would you do?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on September 26, 2011, 02:05:54 PM
Cause lots and lots of harmless mischeif  ;)

Who is your favourite singer/songwriter?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 26, 2011, 05:16:10 PM
Not sure if its Lennon or Bowie

Do you have a favourite saying?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on September 26, 2011, 05:26:48 PM
It'll be fiiiiine!  ::)

What are you upto this-evening?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 26, 2011, 05:31:51 PM
Not much, had a small sensible meal, a bath, fed the dogs and wont be long for bed, I know it seems incredibly early but I feel exhausted tonight

What are you listening to/watching right now?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on September 26, 2011, 05:48:45 PM
That sounds like a good plan for the evening  :)

I am currently listening to my mixed usb stick  *&^ It has all sorts... right NOW, Its Amy Winehouse - Love is a Losing Game... but in a minute it could be... literally, anything, its pretty varied. OOOh hang on, its Alanis Morrisette - So Unsexy  :)

What are you looking forward to?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 26, 2011, 06:05:45 PM
Apart from getting properly well again, a short break in a little cottage in November that I've just booked

Do you find any accents sexy?!
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on September 26, 2011, 06:54:27 PM
Scottish  ;) (But in a Ewan McGregor way, not in a Rab C Nesbitt way  :P)

What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on September 26, 2011, 09:03:17 PM
i think it was a preview of inception, but im not too sure.

what was the first film you can remember going to the cinema to see ??
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on September 27, 2011, 09:11:57 AM
Little Women - with my mum. I was thinking about it last night and its actually quite a sad memory. I was having a tough time at school and she took me to try and take my mind off of it... It was such a lovely thing to do but I don't know why everytime I remeber something like that I go to pieces...

Anyway, I digress...

Whats your worst habit?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 28, 2011, 04:35:14 PM
randomly cutting bits off my hair when it gets on my nerves !

What is you favourite barbecue food?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on September 29, 2011, 01:51:49 PM
Garlic barbequed mushrooms! I'm not a veggie... but i do like a good garlicked up peice of veg!  :P

What is your favourite curry?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 29, 2011, 06:07:46 PM
I like most vegetarian currys, I think the recipe I have for yellw split pea dhal is a favourite.

What country's food do you like best?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Munchroom on September 30, 2011, 01:46:16 PM
ooooh, thats a really hard one! I don't think I can pick a favourite!! I was amazed at how much I liked Polish food though - that was nice, but I love (mild) curries.... and I dont think I could live without italian sauces, meat and pastas! Very very tricky...

What is your favourite ice cream?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 30, 2011, 02:04:37 PM
Dairy starts off my IBS  so I eat vegan ice cream (which is delicious), the chocolate is my favourite even though I shouldnt eat it because of the caffiene content!

What are you planning for the weekend?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: cornish on September 30, 2011, 07:05:55 PM
work, like normal. but for once i really dont want to  :o

where is your favorite place ?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 30, 2011, 07:47:34 PM
Somehow that sounds positive thst you dont really want to work cornsh

Perthshire, not sure which part I'd choose as the best bit.

Do you prefer a duvet or blankets?

Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Depina on September 30, 2011, 08:17:51 PM
Duvets!-I hide under it enough !!

What do you prefer, films or live theatre?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Zaf on September 30, 2011, 08:39:33 PM
Films

What sort of sport do you like watching?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: overcastrainbow on October 06, 2011, 10:20:45 AM
naked rugby............. hey it could happen and if it did it would be my fav sport to watch.

Whats your favorite season
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: Lol on October 06, 2011, 10:28:48 AM
Autumn

Do you prefer dinner or pudding?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: overcastrainbow on October 06, 2011, 11:04:33 AM

Dinner, im more of a savory person.

If you could design a fair ground ride, what would it be and what would you call it?
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: cornish on October 07, 2011, 06:55:15 PM
http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php (http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php)
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Depina on October 07, 2011, 07:53:04 PM
 ;D  />.
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Zaf on October 08, 2011, 03:34:26 AM
Good one  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: angel3077 on October 08, 2011, 10:17:30 AM
Have you seen Simons Cat? The new one double trouble is just fab!
Title: Scary Mummy!!
Post by: Munchroom on October 11, 2011, 04:04:41 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9oxmRT2YWw

 :D
Title: Re: Scary Mummy!!
Post by: Depina on October 11, 2011, 04:23:06 PM
FUNNY !!! poor baby
Title: Re: Scary Mummy!!
Post by: danbob on October 11, 2011, 05:48:48 PM
ha ha!!!  %$%
Title: Re: Scary Mummy!!
Post by: cornish on October 11, 2011, 07:18:00 PM
haha awesome
Title: This clip made me laugh so much so I thought I'd share it with you all
Post by: nickynoo on October 24, 2011, 03:30:40 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctVGRgNt0e8&feature=related

Its Bradley's face that makes me laugh, how he is trying to keep in his laugh haha

Title: Re: This clip made me laugh so much so I thought I'd share it with you all
Post by: Zaf on October 24, 2011, 04:07:58 PM
Wont load on my ipad, will have to wait till I get to work to look at it :(
Title: Re: This clip made me laugh so much so I thought I'd share it with you all
Post by: Lol on October 24, 2011, 05:26:36 PM
That is so childishly devine!!! It made me giggle!!!
Title: Re: This clip made me laugh so much so I thought I'd share it with you all
Post by: nickynoo on October 24, 2011, 06:04:43 PM
Laughter is so infectious isnt it :) x
Title: Re: This clip made me laugh so much so I thought I'd share it with you all
Post by: weenancy on October 24, 2011, 07:44:45 PM
hi nick 

so funny!!  bradley's face is class lol ;D
Title: Re: This clip made me laugh so much so I thought I'd share it with you all
Post by: Depina on October 25, 2011, 08:20:55 AM
Yes
We need more laughter---Bring it on !!!   ;D    ;D    ;D    ;D    ;D    />.
Title: A funny to make you :) .....
Post by: nickynoo on October 30, 2011, 03:55:35 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
Title: Re: A funny to make you :) .....
Post by: Munchroom on November 04, 2011, 07:26:04 PM
 ;D Thanks - this never fails to crack me up xx
Title: Re: A funny to make you :) .....
Post by: cornish on November 04, 2011, 07:35:43 PM
seen it before but it never fails to make me smile, thanks
Title: Who Are You?
Post by: Munchroom on November 05, 2011, 10:52:47 AM
Ok... like the 'An Idea' thread, this has just popped into my highly imaginative (for today at least!) mind... May work, may not, but here is the plan....

Each day, is a new letter of the alphabet... so today, as it is the first day will be A. You post a word that describes you, or how you are feeling or is a part of something you do... anything really  :P, beginning with that letter and it has to be positive! Tomorrow will be B and so on.... It'll get us thinking about out positive features and possibly give us the oppounity to learn a little more about each other....  :)

Ok, so here goes....

A

I am.... Artistic...
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Lol on November 05, 2011, 10:56:36 AM
I am Affectionate  :-*
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: xwardx on November 07, 2011, 06:36:03 PM
I am amazing!!!
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: angel3077 on November 08, 2011, 03:57:51 PM
should we not have moved on to B now?

I am brilliant (ahem)
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Munchroom on November 08, 2011, 04:01:11 PM
I am brave
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Munchroom on November 09, 2011, 01:36:18 PM
I am a Care Assistant
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: angel3077 on November 10, 2011, 09:07:20 AM
I am devoted ( to my cat)  ^&^ ^&^
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Ouroboros on November 13, 2011, 07:56:24 PM
I am.... evil  >:D
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Munchroom on November 15, 2011, 09:20:15 AM
I am... Friendly  :) (Most of the time  >:D)
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: xwardx on November 15, 2011, 06:21:19 PM
I am generous particularly when it comes 2 my daughter :D
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: isserley on November 17, 2011, 10:18:45 AM
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: isserley on November 17, 2011, 11:56:11 AM
The hug machine.
It would give the biggest hugs, best hugs ever!

What is your favourite book?
Title: Re: An Idea....
Post by: VincentNew on November 20, 2011, 12:00:49 PM
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes.
Title: My favourite joke
Post by: Laura on November 22, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Two penguins happen to spot Concorde flying over.
"I wish I could fly like that"
"you would if your bum was  on fire!"


 ^*^
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: cornish on November 22, 2011, 09:50:06 PM
Haha  That was from a certain biscuit wrapper was it ?
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: Laura on November 22, 2011, 09:53:11 PM
Oh I dunno, I was about 5 when I first heard it! haha
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: cornish on November 22, 2011, 10:04:47 PM
Ah right, I can barely remember yesterday let alone when i was 5 and I'm only 24
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: Laura on November 22, 2011, 10:16:52 PM
That and the shoes are about all I remember!
Title: Wow now this is happiness......
Post by: nickynoo on December 02, 2011, 05:27:32 PM
This clip is great....imagine feeling happiness like this little fella.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oN_C-c63uQ4&feature=fvst

Title: A bit of funny
Post by: Bewildered on December 07, 2011, 09:21:48 PM
 and a bit geeky.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgAlQuqzl8o&feature=g-all&list=PLE2177282292B25A2
Title: Re: A bit of funny
Post by: cornish on December 10, 2011, 10:10:38 PM
 :)
Title: Re: Wow now this is happiness......
Post by: Raindrops on December 13, 2011, 05:08:54 PM
Aww :) I love how all the other penguins are just standing there like "He's not with us".. haha  :D
Title: Re: Wow now this is happiness......
Post by: HSS1982 on December 13, 2011, 07:28:56 PM
Anyone know what made him so happy? I'll have some of that!
Title: This made me smile
Post by: HSS1982 on December 13, 2011, 07:32:12 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDZcGz4vmJc   

It made me smile
Title: Re: This clip made me laugh so much so I thought I'd share it with you all
Post by: Raindrops on December 13, 2011, 08:03:04 PM
Priceless  ;D He tried so hard not to laugh, that is true determination
Title: Re: Wow now this is happiness......
Post by: nickynoo on December 13, 2011, 09:12:53 PM
No idea what made him so happy, but I second that on 'I'll have some of that'.......haha I think the other penguins are just jealous!!! Wish I was this little fella
Title: Re: This made me smile
Post by: nickynoo on December 13, 2011, 10:00:05 PM
Haha this is excellent, thanks HSS1982 that's just what I needed tonight :)......HMS Ocean here I come, looks like good fun on there (and some lovely looking lads on there too :) )
Title: Re: This made me smile
Post by: HSS1982 on December 28, 2011, 05:43:01 PM
I thought you might like some of the lads! I like the bit when they spell out 'Merry Xmas from HMS Ocean'
Title: Re: A funny to make you :) .....
Post by: supportme on January 16, 2012, 10:54:28 PM
he is gorgeous! :)
Title: Re: A funny to make you :) .....
Post by: Zaf on January 17, 2012, 03:43:30 AM
I love it too :)
Title: ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% I would have given him 100%
Post by: Ezel on January 22, 2012, 03:53:14 PM
ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% I would have given him 100%


Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the  page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?
* it will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already  built.
Title: Re: ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% I would have given him 100%
Post by: Munchroom on January 22, 2012, 03:56:04 PM
 ;D Thats student is an absolute genius! Thanks for making me smile Ezel xx
Title: Re: ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% I would have given him 100%
Post by: Zaf on January 22, 2012, 04:19:35 PM
Brilliant!
Title: Re: ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% I would have given him 100%
Post by: Sweetpea on January 22, 2012, 04:23:40 PM
Made me giggle. Thanx Ezel.

S x
Title: Re: ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% I would have given him 100%
Post by: xwardx on January 22, 2012, 04:45:13 PM
*thumbs up* made me smile, thanks x
Title: Re: ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% I would have given him 100%
Post by: Ezel on January 22, 2012, 06:12:56 PM
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: em89 on February 22, 2012, 12:17:12 PM
:/
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: em89 on February 22, 2012, 12:22:21 PM
hmm...as a new forum user im not getting the hang of this just yet...just posted in the wrong place. sorry guys!
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: Ally on March 02, 2012, 10:02:36 AM
What's brown and sticky?





A Stick!

hahahaha
I love that one  >:D
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: Sweetpea on March 02, 2012, 10:06:18 AM
Very Good  ;D ;D

S x
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: KateG on March 02, 2012, 01:11:25 PM
 :D One of my favorites....


What's blue and white and if it fell out of a tree on top of you, it would kill you?



A fridge-freezer wearing a denim jacket
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: Sweetpea on March 02, 2012, 04:10:30 PM
 ;D ;D

S x
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: Ally on March 02, 2012, 06:48:56 PM
Did you hear about the trumpet player that found a weed in his garden?

He Rootetootoot
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: Sweetpea on March 02, 2012, 07:02:04 PM
 ;D ;D

S x
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: lbruk on March 05, 2012, 12:20:12 PM
2 muffins are in the oven.
One turns to the other and says "Cor its hot in here!"
The other one screams "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN"

keeps me entertained for ages that joke does...
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: KateG on March 05, 2012, 12:29:01 PM
 :D
Title: Re: My favourite joke
Post by: Sweetpea on March 05, 2012, 04:25:45 PM
 ;D

S x
Title: Re: A funny to make you :) .....
Post by: solo on March 22, 2012, 06:56:53 PM
Seen it a few times and makes me laugh every time  :D
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: lost rolex on May 08, 2012, 06:42:49 PM
i am Frugal and keep everything.
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Munchroom on May 21, 2012, 08:40:01 PM
I am generous
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Got on May 22, 2012, 12:44:18 AM
I am God.
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: KateG on May 22, 2012, 01:04:12 PM
I am trying my hardest to be Hopeful
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Ezel on May 22, 2012, 01:44:07 PM
I'm .....imagitive
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Sweetpea on May 22, 2012, 04:29:37 PM
I am shy (believe it or not  ;)).

S x x x x
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: XSqueakX on May 26, 2012, 01:18:34 PM
I can Achieve whatever I want in from life
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: XSqueakX on June 01, 2012, 08:35:25 PM
I am beautiful
Title: Made by Men?
Post by: Zaf on June 16, 2012, 11:28:54 AM
Why are most kitchen appliances so damned hard to get really clean?  All the tiny spaces where fingers or little brushes cant get into are a nightmare, I'm sure if women designed these things we'd make sure they would be much easier

Mini rant over ;)
Title: Re: Made by Men?
Post by: Sweetpea on June 16, 2012, 02:03:27 PM
 ;D ;D ;D that is so true Zaf.

S x x x x
Title: Re: Made by Men?
Post by: KateG on June 16, 2012, 03:57:33 PM
Most hotel rooms are designed by men, there is never a plug socket next to the mirror with the best light.....
Title: Re: Made by Men?
Post by: Buttercup on June 16, 2012, 07:17:07 PM
Thats so true Kate
Title: Re: Made by Men?
Post by: Zaf on June 16, 2012, 07:29:39 PM
And kitchens, not enough plug sockets and in the wrong place....
Title: Re: Made by Men?
Post by: Sweetpea on June 16, 2012, 07:53:18 PM
Craig did our kitchen so I have loads of plug sockets, its great.

S x x x x
Title: Re: Made by Men?
Post by: Zaf on June 17, 2012, 06:36:55 AM
David put lots in for me when we did ours too :)
Title: Re: A funny to make you :) .....
Post by: Holykimura on June 25, 2012, 01:24:55 PM
So funny  :D
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Geeky1998 on June 29, 2012, 03:12:26 AM
I am geeky
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Ducky on June 29, 2012, 06:36:26 AM
I am quackers. >:D
Title: A man goes home...
Post by: Catbrian on August 04, 2012, 03:46:16 PM

A man gets home from the pub one night.

He says to the Mrs, "Hey, my mate Jimmy down the pub reckons he's slept with every woman in this street, except one"

The Mrs promptly replies, "Aye, I bet it's that stuck up mare at number 48"

                                                        =+-  +-_  $%$  :D  ;)  :o  :-*  ^-^
Title: Re: A man goes home...
Post by: Zaf on August 04, 2012, 04:09:55 PM
 ::)  :D
Title: Re: A man goes home...
Post by: Sweetpea on August 04, 2012, 05:19:21 PM
(http://depressionforums.co.uk/dpf/mobiquo/emoji/E00E.png)(http://depressionforums.co.uk/dpf/mobiquo/emoji/E057.png)(http://depressionforums.co.uk/dpf/mobiquo/emoji/E00E.png). S x x x x
Title: Re: A man goes home...
Post by: Ezel on August 05, 2012, 05:59:37 PM
ROFL
Title: I have a joke...
Post by: Shauno on August 06, 2012, 08:26:42 PM

 Who would like to hear/see it?
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2012, 07:01:04 AM
As long as its not naughty  ;)
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Shauno on August 07, 2012, 01:37:01 PM
Knock Knock...
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Sweetpea on August 07, 2012, 01:59:19 PM
Ok need to know the rest now ;) :). S x x x x
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Shauno on August 07, 2012, 02:09:51 PM
Knock Knock!!!
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Sweetpea on August 07, 2012, 02:22:12 PM
Oh duh sorry - who's there?  S x x x You too night Shaz
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Sweetpea on August 07, 2012, 02:22:58 PM
Sorry somehow text message found its way to my phone x x x You too night Shaz
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Shauno on August 07, 2012, 02:38:29 PM
Oh duh sorry - who's there?

The Postman - Sign here please!
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Catbrian on August 07, 2012, 02:56:27 PM
GGGGRRRROOOOOAAAAANNNNN
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Sweetpea on August 07, 2012, 03:03:04 PM
Lol ;). X x x
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Zaf on August 07, 2012, 03:21:24 PM
Omg  ::)  xx
Title: Re: I have a joke...
Post by: Shauno on August 07, 2012, 03:57:07 PM
Boss joke!

Get's a laugh every single time.  !+_
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: JokerPodCast on August 15, 2012, 12:32:36 PM
I like turtles
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: I.B Igor on October 08, 2012, 05:11:08 PM

I am unrepentant!,..I think, most of the time, sometimes,...so there! "!+
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: I.B Igor on October 16, 2012, 02:47:50 PM

 I am Practical.
 
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Catbrian on October 16, 2012, 07:22:11 PM
I'm impatient in hospital waiting rooms and usually end up kicking off!!!
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: athens1982 on October 16, 2012, 09:24:42 PM
I am fed up with pretending I am ok when actually am at breaking point.
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Catbrian on October 19, 2012, 05:20:10 PM
I'm fed up people are taking the pee..."Give em a yard and they'll take a mile"
Title: The Postman
Post by: Pip on November 08, 2015, 11:47:34 AM
I don't think my postman likes me.  I sent away a film to be developed and on the envelope it was printed PHOTOGRAPHS DO NOT BEND.  He folded the envelope in half and wrote on the outside, "Oh yes they do."
Title: Re: The Postman
Post by: stewart on November 09, 2015, 01:18:07 PM
heard that one years ago, it would be a typical thing the post would do though
Title: Old man
Post by: Pip on December 01, 2015, 06:25:36 PM
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out.  A young jogger comes by and asks him what the matter is. The old man says, "I'm a multimillionaire. I have a great big house and the fastest car in the world, and I just married a beautiful blonde."

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"

The old man says, "I can't remember where I live."
Title: Re: Old man
Post by: Amanda_George on December 01, 2015, 07:15:35 PM
Oh dear!  lol
Title: Re: Old man
Post by: stewart on December 05, 2015, 12:58:50 PM
oh dear indeed,
Title: Re: Old man
Post by: Greys0n on March 02, 2016, 07:43:22 AM
ahaha lol
Title: Christianity
Post by: Amanda_George on March 19, 2016, 02:17:11 PM
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm.
As the passengers were being bounced around by the
turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting next
to her and with a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're
a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?"

And the minister said, "Lady, I'm in sales,  not tech support."
Title: Get your groaning muscles ready!
Post by: Amanda_George on June 18, 2016, 05:33:02 AM
This was on my Facebook wall yesterday and Pip approved it overnight   :happy0158:

Title: Re: Get your groaning muscles ready!
Post by: stewart on June 19, 2016, 11:54:58 AM
Groan.......
Title: Re: Get your groaning muscles ready!
Post by: Amanda_George on June 20, 2016, 06:43:18 AM
You can't say I didn't warn you, Stewart!  lol
Title: Re: Get your groaning muscles ready!
Post by: stewart on June 20, 2016, 03:19:13 PM
what's green and turns red at the touch of a button?

kermit in a blender
Title: Re: Get your groaning muscles ready!
Post by: Amanda_George on June 20, 2016, 05:16:52 PM
ewww!  lol
Title: Golf
Post by: Pip on June 28, 2016, 05:47:55 PM
A land surveyor was tasked with mapping a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18 holes.  He needed a stout machete to clear thick brush as he went.  Along the way, he came upon a golf club that an irate player must have hurled into the woods.  It was in good condition, so he picked it up and continued on.  When he broke out of the brush onto a putting green, two golfers stared at him in awe. After all, he had a machete in one hand, a golf club in the other, and behind him was a clear cut swath leading out of the woods!  "There," said one of the golfers, "is a guy who really hates to lose a ball!"
Title: News
Post by: Pip on June 28, 2016, 06:01:56 PM
This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?"

The guy shrugs and says, "Well, I guess I'll have the bad news first."

"Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," the doctor replies.

The man is distraught, "24 hours to live?! That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the VERY bad news?"

he doctor folds his hands and sighs, "The very bad news is I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."
Title: Re: Golf
Post by: Amanda_George on June 29, 2016, 05:35:51 AM
Oh dear!  lol
Title: Re: News
Post by: Amanda_George on June 29, 2016, 05:37:38 AM
<groan>
Title: Re: News
Post by: stewart on June 29, 2016, 01:02:27 PM
could be worse..... wakin after surgery and the doc looks at your chart, and says 'woops, your NOT the mr smith that came in for a sex change
Title: Re: News
Post by: Amanda_George on June 29, 2016, 06:36:21 PM
<groan>  These aren't getting any better!  lol
Title: Re: News
Post by: Pip on June 30, 2016, 08:12:02 PM
Mine always get worse :confused0062:
Title: Re: News
Post by: Amanda_George on July 01, 2016, 07:49:08 AM
Nowt wrong with that, Pip!
Title: Contact Lens
Post by: Pip on September 04, 2016, 08:52:33 PM
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.  Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand.  "How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked.

"We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied.  "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."
Title: Neighbors in Montana
Post by: Pip on September 04, 2016, 08:56:13 PM
A sucessful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana.  After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on the horse.  "Hold it neighbor" the man says, "I'm your neighbor, I have a ranch only six miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. There's going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing, drinking, fighting.  We'll have a great time".

Not wanting to be unneighborly the new rancher lowers the rifle and ask's "How should I dress?"

"Aw, don't matter" replied the neighbor, "Only gonna be the two of us".
Title: Baptism
Post by: Pip on September 05, 2016, 08:18:04 PM
After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys with water, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five-year-old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole. As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.  "Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!" she asks angrily.

"We were just playing 'church,' Mommy," he said. "I was baptizing him in the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole-he-goes."
Title: Legs
Post by: Pip on December 26, 2016, 07:17:31 PM
A poultry farmer was experimenting to breed turkeys with more legs for greater profits. Finally, he succeeded. While narrating the results to his friends, he told them, "The turkey I bred had six legs!"

His friends, who had got quite excited, eagerly asked, "What about the taste?"

The farmer said with a long-drawn face, "I have no idea. Can't catch it."
Title: Re: Baptism
Post by: stewart on January 16, 2017, 01:13:59 PM
thats as bad as knowing when the minister has been drinking the communial wine, he goes on about

 'Big daddy, Junior & Spook
Title: Re: Contact Lens
Post by: stewart on January 16, 2017, 01:18:35 PM
 ;D
Title: Young and old play golf...
Post by: Pip on April 11, 2017, 10:51:01 AM
A young man who was an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried, and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man.  Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him. To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.  Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.  The old man leaned back on his golf bag and said, "Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."
Title: Moving Day
Post by: Pip on April 11, 2017, 11:05:02 AM
One morning as Professor Thompson was leaving for the college his wife told her absent-minded husband, "Don't forget we are moving today. If you come to this house this afternoon it will be empty."

Predictably he didn't remember until he found the house vacated that afternoon. He mumbled to himself, "And where was it we were moving to?"

He went out in front of the house and asked a little girl, "Did you see a moving van here today, little girl?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Can you tell me which way it went?"

She looked up at him and said, "Yes, Daddy, I'll show you."
Title: Mystery Lover
Post by: Pip on April 25, 2017, 06:02:00 PM
A mystery lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage.  The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."

The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up.  Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, "Follow me."

The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.  "Thanks so much," says the theatergoer, "This seat is perfect."

He then hands the usher a quarter.  The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick."
Title: Re: Mystery Lover
Post by: Amanda_George on April 26, 2017, 07:23:43 AM
 :bash:  :tongue0015:  :happy0158:
Title: Groaner alert!
Post by: Amanda_George on April 27, 2017, 09:19:49 AM
What do cows read before bedtime?

Dairy Tales
 
Title: Re: Groaner alert!
Post by: Pip on April 29, 2017, 05:56:54 PM
 :rofl:  I'm easy to please
Title: Re: Mystery Lover
Post by: stewart on May 03, 2017, 04:04:23 PM
make me remember a part in 'Air Force One' where the president is looking forward to watching a recording of a ball game he couldn't see live, (so didn't want to know the score)
just passing one of his crew with a beaming smile says 'Go Dodgers' (whatever team),
One very unhappy Pres'
Title: Re: Mystery Lover
Post by: Amanda_George on May 04, 2017, 04:13:49 PM
Oh dear!  lol
Title: Two cows
Post by: Amanda_George on August 25, 2017, 05:20:18 PM
two cows in a field, one says moo and the other says bahhh. the first cow says what are you doing? the other cow says learning a foreign language!
Title: Re: Two cows
Post by: stewart on August 26, 2017, 05:15:36 PM
 :bash: hear them men in white coate3 with them white jackets are liikig for you Amanda... greensmilies-004    ;D
Title: Re: Two cows
Post by: Amanda_George on August 27, 2017, 07:36:49 AM
Don't blame me, blame me Facebook friends, Stewart!   :happy0064:
Title: Re: Two cows
Post by: stewart on August 27, 2017, 10:08:23 AM
groan...:)   facebook can have some real strange things on it,

well im there so i reas my case :excited:
Title: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: stewart on August 27, 2017, 10:24:58 AM
Dr Dr, i feel like a snooker ball.........shut up and get to the end if the cue

Dr Dr, can you help me out........certainly sir, which way did you come in?
Title: Re: Two cows
Post by: Amanda_George on August 27, 2017, 05:33:26 PM
You are so right... wouldn't be without it now though!
Title: Re: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: Amanda_George on August 27, 2017, 05:36:11 PM
Oh dear... they are almost as bad as mine!   :biggrin:
Title: Re: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: stewart on August 28, 2017, 09:01:21 AM
Dr Dr, i feel like a bar of soap.....thats lifeboy
Title: Re: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: Amanda_George on August 28, 2017, 09:24:39 AM
They aren't getting any better!  lol
Title: Re: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: stewart on September 09, 2017, 10:55:30 AM
Dr Dr, every time i wear my new shirt i get a stabbing pain in my neck.

have you removed all the pins sir?
Title: Re: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: Amanda_George on September 09, 2017, 02:06:03 PM
Title: Burglarized
Post by: Pip on September 09, 2017, 09:24:32 PM
Returning home from work, Jamie was shocked to find that the house had been ransacked and burglarized.  After telephoning the police, the dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.  As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, Jamie ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.  Incredulous, Jamie moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?  They send me a BLIND policeman!"
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on September 09, 2017, 09:37:15 PM
Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well deserved complaining and self pitying.  She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."
Title: Re: Burglarized
Post by: Amanda_George on September 10, 2017, 07:18:50 AM
Oh dear!  <groan>
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Amanda_George on September 10, 2017, 07:20:56 AM
Another groaner!
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: stewart on September 10, 2017, 09:27:12 AM
and you said my ones were bad Amanda :)
Title: Re: Burglarized
Post by: stewart on September 10, 2017, 09:28:17 AM
ditto
Title: Re: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: stewart on September 10, 2017, 09:29:33 AM
like the last onje Amanda
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Amanda_George on September 10, 2017, 11:14:45 AM
Are all of the jokes you both find so bad?  I blame my jokes on the internet!  lol
Title: Re: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: Amanda_George on September 10, 2017, 11:17:27 AM
I can't claim credit for any of 'em... found them online!   :cool:
Title: Re: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: stewart on September 16, 2017, 01:38:26 PM
Dr says to the invisible man......sorry i cant see you today :bash:  :excited: :bash:
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: stewart on September 16, 2017, 01:39:07 PM
me too
Title: Re: Dr Dr Jokes....add em as you find em :)
Post by: Amanda_George on September 17, 2017, 11:55:14 AM
They aren't getting any better, Stewart!   :P
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Amanda_George on September 17, 2017, 12:02:06 PM
 :confused0062: lol
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on November 25, 2017, 08:03:10 PM
A mom was playing "tooth fairy" putting money under her little daughter's pillow when the child awoke and caught her in the act.  The mom froze, wondering how to explain to her tot that she was, in fact, the fairy; but she was spared the trouble.  "You put that money back!" her daughter said indignantly. "The tooth fairy left that for me!"
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on November 25, 2017, 08:07:41 PM
A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, "I'll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes away."

An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened not a sound. He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife, "Well, My Dear, did you get rid of that old bore at last?"

The next moment he heard the voice of the same woman caller, and she couldn't possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.  The quick-thinking minister's wife answered, "Yes, Dear, she went away over an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I'm sure you'll be glad to greet her."
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on December 07, 2017, 10:31:19 PM
Pardon me, lady," said the man trying to get back to his seat in the darkened movie theater, "but did I step on your toes a few minutes ago?"

"You certainly did!" said the woman in the aisle seat.

"Good, then I'm in the right row," the man said as he went back to his seat.
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on December 07, 2017, 10:32:27 PM
My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew.  After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate a cell phone?"
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on December 07, 2017, 10:33:22 PM
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."

"Good, what are we having for breakfast," said Dewey, the new husband.

"Toast and juice," Tracy replied.
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Amanda_George on December 21, 2017, 02:40:05 PM
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Frostbite!
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Amanda_George on March 13, 2018, 12:38:25 PM
After finding 5 Mars bars, 3 Snickers, a Flake and a packet of M&M's, I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a Bounty hunter!
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Amanda_George on March 13, 2018, 12:45:54 PM
Sorry!  lol
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on March 14, 2018, 07:41:17 PM
 :ga025:
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on March 14, 2018, 07:48:41 PM
 :excited:
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Amanda_George on March 14, 2018, 08:27:45 PM
 :lol3:
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Amanda_George on March 14, 2018, 08:29:26 PM
 :giggle:
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on March 20, 2018, 03:30:45 PM
HOW TO WRITE A TERM PAPER

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly-sharpened pencils.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.

4. Stop off at another floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, printed out, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, drop him.

5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly-sharpened pencils.

6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now, that way you can concentrate.

8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

9. Listen to one song from your favorite album and that's it, I really mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that...

10. Listen to the rest of the album.

11. Rearrange all of your books into alphabetical order.

12. Call your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, and the world at large.

13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly-sharpened pencils.

14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savor its special flavor.

15. Check the guide to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

16. Catch the last hour of Soul Brother of Kung Fu on channel 26.

17. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot, even if he wasn't watching.

18. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.

19. Look through your roommate's memory book from home. Ask who everyone is.

20. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

21. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.

22. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly-sharpened pencils.

23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it.

24. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

25. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

26. Leap up and write the paper.

27. Type the paper on your laptop. Spell check.

28. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid term paper.
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on March 31, 2018, 04:34:07 PM
 Collectibles

Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple. Among other duties, I had to dust their many imported carvings and petrified collectibles as well as pick up after their pets.  One day I was astonished to find two ivory fossils lying on the floor beside the bookcase. I quickly picked them up and put them back on the shelf. The next week the same thing happened.  That afternoon my employer came into the parlor, her faithful canine behind her. Looking around, she eyed the bookcase.  "Tippy," she asked the dog, "how do your bones keep getting up there?"
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on March 31, 2018, 04:36:13 PM
 A Texas millionaire

A Texas millionaire had fallen ill. The doctors consulted did not seem to understand what ailed him. The millionaire let it be known that any doctor who could heal him could have whatever he desired.  A country doctor was finally able to cure him, and as the doctor was leaving after a week's stay, the Texan said, "Doc! I am a man of my word. You name it, and if it is humanly possible I'll get it for you."

"Well," said the doctor, "I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of golf clubs, that would be fine."

With that the physician left.  The doctor didn't hear from the Texan millionaire for some months. Then, one day, he got a phone call from the millionaire.  "Doc, I bet you thought that I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs. The reason it took so long is that two of them didn't have swimming pools, and I didn't think they were good enough for ya. So I had pools installed and they're all ready for you now!"
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on May 20, 2018, 05:40:36 PM
Darryl and Harold

Darryl and Harold were in a mental institution. The place had an unusual annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they were deemed cured and free to go.  Darryl was called into the doctor s office first and asked if he understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions correctly. Darryl said "Yes" and the doctor proceeded.

"Darryl, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"

Darryl said, "I'd be half blind."

"That's correct. What if I poked out both eyes?"

"I d be completely blind."

The doctor stood up, shook Darryl s hand, and told him he was free to go.  On Darryl's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Darryl mentioned the exam to Harold, who was seated in the waiting room. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers.  So Harold went into the doctor's office when he was called. The doctor went thru the formalities and then asked, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"

Remembering what Darryl had told him, he answered, "I'd be half blind."

The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. "What if I cut off the other ear?"

"I'd be completely blind," Harold answered."

"Harold, can you explain how you'd be blind?"

"My hat would fall down over my eyes."
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on May 20, 2018, 05:46:27 PM
Tough Exam

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.  The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.  Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on May 29, 2018, 04:52:56 PM
Rescue

There once was a flood and everyone had reached safety except for one man.  He climbed to the top of his house with the water lapping at his feet.  A helicopter flew over his head and hung down a rope for him to climb, but the man was deeply religious and said, "It's alright! The Lord will save me!"

So the helicopter flew away. The water continued to rise and a boat came to him but, once again, the man shouted, "No! Go AWAY! the Lord will come and save me!" and, once again, the boat sped off.

The water was getting dangerously deep by now so the helicopter came back and, on cue, the man repeated, "I don't need saving! My Lord will come"

Reluctantly, the helicopter left.  The rain continued to pour, the water continued to rise and the man drowned.  At the gates of heaven, the man met St. Peter. Confused, he asked, "Peter, I have lived the life of a faithful man why did my Lord not rescue me?"

St. Peter replied, "For pity sake! He sent you two helicopters and a boat!"
Title: Re: Re: Re: Alien Movie Quiz.
Post by: Pip on May 29, 2018, 04:57:00 PM
Party Entertainment

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they would help chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house.  The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half an hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all.  The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did midair flips, and leaped high in the air.  She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $100!"

The other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. HEY WILLIE! FOR $100, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"
Title: restaurant themes
Post by: Amanda_George on June 26, 2018, 01:41:19 PM
I've booked a table for me and the wife at an Elvis Presley themed restaurant.

It's for people who love meat tender.
Title: Apple shop robbery
Post by: Amanda_George on June 26, 2018, 01:44:47 PM
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
Title: Re: restaurant themes
Post by: Pip on June 26, 2018, 06:51:02 PM
*groan*  :thud: :c45:
Title: Re: Apple shop robbery
Post by: Pip on June 26, 2018, 07:02:37 PM
 :chin: :biggrin:
Title: Re: restaurant themes
Post by: Amanda_George on June 27, 2018, 07:15:36 AM
Sorry Pip!    :lol3:
Title: Re: Apple shop robbery
Post by: Amanda_George on June 27, 2018, 07:26:41 AM
I'm blaming a writing forum for yesterday's two whatsits!   :confused0062:
Title: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Amanda_George on June 28, 2018, 08:04:27 AM
Title: Re: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Pip on July 02, 2018, 06:23:45 PM
 :m121: :lolbig2: :rofl: :lol3:
Title: Oh dear!
Post by: Amanda_George on July 12, 2018, 07:28:51 AM
Steve found this on Facebook last night so blame him, not me for this one:

Title: Re: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Amanda_George on July 12, 2018, 07:49:08 AM
Title: Re: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Amanda_George on July 18, 2018, 08:27:39 AM
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
 You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
---

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
 "Breathe, stupid!"
---

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

Because if it had four doors then it'd be a chicken sedan.
---

Diplomatic 'Speak your weight machine'.

"Your ideal height is eleven feet six inches."
---

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Title: Re: Oh dear!
Post by: Pip on July 20, 2018, 06:17:53 PM
 :rofl:
Title: Re: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Pip on July 20, 2018, 06:20:01 PM
 :confused0062:
Title: Re: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Amanda_George on July 21, 2018, 10:06:25 AM
A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

----

A woman is trying all sorts of lotions, potions, and exercises, to increase her bust size.  None of them seem to work.

Her husband suggests she just rubs a couple of squares of toilet tissue up and down between her breasts a few times each day.

"I'll try anything, but how does that work?"

"No idea, Love.  But it's worked on your arse."

----

Why did the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia stay up all night? A: She was wondering if there really is a dog.

----

dyslexics of the world:  UNTIE

----

 How much room is needed for fungi to grow?
 As mushroom as possible

----

What do you call a fake noodle?
 An Impasta.

----
Title: Re: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Amanda_George on July 23, 2018, 01:22:44 PM
I was standing at the bar of Terminal 3 in the Los Angeles International Airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer.
 
I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says, "No, I don't. And furthermore, why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I'm Chinese?"

"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little prick."
___

Why can you never trust an atom?
 Because they make up everything
___

A boy complains to his father "You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! It didn't! All they did was laugh at me!"
Father: "Yes, but you should have realised that the potato goes at the front."
___

Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.

Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.

Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.

Banana: Can we just change the topic please?
Title: Re: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Pip on July 24, 2018, 04:05:45 PM
 :biggrin:
Title: Re: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Amanda_George on July 25, 2018, 09:28:47 AM
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels.
___

Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.
 At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.
___

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and
attacking everyone, he even threw his faeces on the wall. I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.
___

I hate cliffhangers because...
___

Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that.
___

My grandfather has the heart of a lion, and now, a lifetime ban at the zoo.
___

Title: Re: More jokes from the writing forum
Post by: Amanda_George on August 09, 2018, 10:24:46 AM
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on October 19, 2018, 05:00:34 PM
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning."

Her husband replied "Well, lots of dogs can do that."

The wife responded, " But we've never subscribed to any papers!"
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on November 07, 2018, 07:45:27 PM
A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke.  The genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Poof! She's gone.  In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse and the love of my life."

Poof! He's gone.  "Okay, you're up," the genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on November 24, 2018, 05:24:57 PM
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer replies, "In the region of $325,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Title: Re: Who Are You?
Post by: Pip on November 24, 2018, 05:29:37 PM
Quiet
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on May 06, 2019, 08:26:41 PM
Last year I entered a marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.  The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"

I replied: "You really want to know?"

Then I dropped out of the race.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on May 09, 2019, 01:30:10 PM
Imagine this scene: God sitting on His thrown. A man standing in front of him next to scores of blackboards, whiteboards, electronic displays, and the like.  God is looking at the man with a very bored expression on His face.  He addresses the man, "Okay, I said you could have all the time you needed to make your point. Time is nothing to me here. But explain to me once again how your presentation proves I don't exist!"
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on May 20, 2019, 06:11:01 PM
A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga to ease her nervousness. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.  One day her friend stopped her and noticing her well long, groomed nails asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness.  "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on May 30, 2019, 10:02:38 AM
what did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on a head, I’ll just hang around here!
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on May 30, 2019, 03:04:22 PM
 :thud: :happy0158:
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on May 30, 2019, 03:04:46 PM
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.   His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.

"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on June 30, 2019, 06:59:25 PM
Irritated Boss: "Can't you hear that the phone is ringing?  You must answer the telephone!"

New Secretary: "All right, but it seems so silly.  Nine times out of ten, it's for you."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on July 04, 2019, 06:49:01 PM
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store.  "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on July 04, 2019, 06:51:53 PM
A 4-year old son was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?"

"Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color."

There was a long silence. Then the son asked softly, "Daddy, are you talking to me?"
Title: Gross joke
Post by: Amanda_George on July 05, 2019, 08:02:50 AM
If you aren't a fan of bodily function jokes then don't read any further.

This was part of an ad for something on my Facebook wall.  Made me and the hubby go "ewww" but it's true though!
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on July 07, 2019, 02:52:50 PM
Two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One called Justin and the other called Kristian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten".

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted".

Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old friend.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old chums simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin gradually realised that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian's home.

As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again".

Kristian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner".

Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed..."

"I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Kristian"
Title: Re: Gross joke
Post by: Pip on July 07, 2019, 07:06:44 PM
 :rofl:
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on July 29, 2019, 07:45:55 PM
Kids have a greater need for speed than classroom computers can deliver.  Impatient to turn in his term paper, one restless student kept clicking the "Print" command.  The printer started to churn out copy after copy of the kid’s ten-page report.  The topic?

"Save Our Trees."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on August 04, 2019, 02:18:25 PM
A man goes into a dentist's office.  Man: "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth."

Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."

Man: "Yes, I know."

Dentist: "So, why did you come in here?"

Man: "The light was on."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on August 10, 2019, 03:40:59 PM
At a large corporation, the CEO who was leaving presented the new CEO with three numbered envelopes.  "Open one of these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.

At first things went along smoothly.  Six months later, sales took a downturn and the CEO was catching a lot of heat.  Then he remembered the envelopes.  He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope.  The message was: "Blame your predecessor."

The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO.  The press and Wall Street responded positively, sales began to pick up, and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later the company experienced another dip in sales plus some product problems.  Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope.  The message: "Reorganize."

This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.  After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times.  The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.  The message said: "Prepare three envelopes."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on August 10, 2019, 03:50:42 PM
For the first time in many years, a friend of ours traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie.  After buying his ticket he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $11.50, my friend couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movie, popcorn was only 15 cents."

"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on August 15, 2019, 06:11:05 PM
The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.  When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.  "What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic," her mother said.

"It's too late! the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on August 15, 2019, 06:17:22 PM
I was driving home from work when I was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Three days later, I got the same ticket, at the same stop, from the same cop.  “So, have you learned anything?” asked the cop.

“Yes, I have,” I began. “I've learned it's time to find a new way home from work.”
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on August 18, 2019, 03:02:54 PM
One evening, a bird-lover stood in his backyard and hooted like an owl and an owl called back to him!  They had a whole "conversation."  He tried it again the next night, and the next and the owl always answered.  He was fascinated.  Sometime later his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor. "My husband spends his nights calling out to owls," she said.

"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."

Just then it dawned on them.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on August 20, 2019, 08:08:27 AM
One evening, a bird-lover stood in his backyard and hooted like an owl and an owl called back to him!  They had a whole "conversation."  He tried it again the next night, and the next and the owl always answered.  He was fascinated.  Sometime later his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor. "My husband spends his nights calling out to owls," she said.

"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."

Just then it dawned on them.

Oh dear lol
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on August 29, 2019, 05:49:37 PM
Archaeologists have made a major breakthrough in Egypt ~ they have found a tomb of an ancient king embalmed in chocolate ~ His name is Pharaoh Roche!
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on August 29, 2019, 06:24:52 PM
I ate a clock yesterday,

it was very time consuming
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on September 09, 2019, 06:17:15 PM
And the Lord said unto John, "come forth and you will receive eternal life".

John came fifth and won a toaster.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on September 09, 2019, 06:20:16 PM
Jokes about white sugar are rare, but jokes about brown sugar?  Demerara
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on September 09, 2019, 06:22:44 PM
To the person who stole my MS Office, I will find you.  You have my Word.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on September 09, 2019, 06:24:26 PM
Who is bigger, Mr Bigger or Mr Bigger's baby?






The answer is Mr Bigger's Baby as he's a little Bigger
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on September 10, 2019, 05:39:58 PM
 :rofl: can't beat jokes like these
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on September 14, 2019, 06:17:09 PM
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.  After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.  The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.  The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.  The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on September 15, 2019, 08:28:55 AM
 :bash: :thud:
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on September 23, 2019, 08:00:46 PM
A young salesperson peeped into the office of someone who looked like a sales manager, muttered something, then started walking away. After retreating a little he seemed to change his mind and headed back to the door where after some hesitation, he started to back away again. The sales manager, feeling sorry for the young man, and surprised that he was so badly trained, called him in.  "You're a salesperson aren't you? What are you selling?"

"Sirr uh yes I'm a salesman. I'm sorry to bother you. I was selling insurance, but I'm sure you don't want any. Sorry to have wasted your time."

Feeling sorry for the young bungler, the sales manager bought two policies to give the young salesman some confidence and then started teaching him about selling. He said: "You should have different pre-planned approaches for different kinds of ..."

"But I do, sir,” the young salesman interrupted, “the one I just used is my planned approach for sales managers. It always works. Thank you!"
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on September 24, 2019, 06:23:12 AM
:sSig_lol3: :lolbig2:
Title: Cows
Post by: Amanda_George on September 30, 2019, 03:34:51 PM
Another one from Facebook:

Title: Re: Cows
Post by: Pip on October 01, 2019, 03:38:07 PM
That's brilliant  :sSig_lol3:
Title: Re: Cows
Post by: Amanda_George on October 01, 2019, 06:33:14 PM
I love jokes like that... easy pleased, me!   :sSig_cool2:
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on October 10, 2019, 05:13:45 PM
An man was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.  The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?"

"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim' round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."

"That's a bunch of bunk! Fish can't do that!"

The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"

The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" said the man.

"When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH!"

"What fish?"
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on October 15, 2019, 07:50:39 PM
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper:

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...    
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...    
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"...    
An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...    
The other results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...    
This is the prettiest graph.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...    
Once

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...    
Twice

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...    
Thrice

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...    
I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...    
A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"...    
Wrong.

"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"...    
Rumor has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"...    
A wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"...    
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of soda.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"...    
I don't understand it.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"...    
They don't understand it either.

"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"...    
Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"...    
A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"...    
I quit.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on October 24, 2019, 07:38:28 PM
A middle-aged man dies, and soon finds himself with both St. Peter and the devil. St. Peter asks his name. And he says, "Bower, Johnny Bower."

And St. Peter says, "Johnny Bower? Oh, I’m so sorry, you’re not supposed to die for another 5 years. We'll have to send you back down."

Mr. Bower is overjoyed, but he notices the two doors leading to Heaven and Hell, and hears what sounds like a party behind the door to Hell. He asks if he can go over and just look around. The devil says, "Of course, but just for a few minutes."

So he goes over and finds an incredible party going on, with wonderful food and drinks, and everyone obviously having a great time. He says to himself, "If this is Hell, I want to be part of it!"

So when he gets back to earth, he sins his brains out for the next 5 years, doing every immoral thing imaginable to be sure he winds up in Hell. And sure enough, 5 years to the day later, he’s facing the devil again in front of the door to Hell. As the door opens, he hears no music, and there is no food or a party. There are just these flames leaping out from the door. In disbelief, he asks, "Where’s the party? Where are all the people having fun?"

The devil grins and says, "Oh, you fell for that? Well, 5 years ago you were a prospect. Now you’re a customer."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on October 26, 2019, 06:57:57 PM
Before they slid into a booth, one guy brushed crumbs off the seat and the other took a napkin and swiped at a spill on the table. The waitress came over and asked if they wanted some menus.  "No thanks," said the first guy. "I'll just have a cup of black coffee."

"I'll have black coffee too," said the second. "And please make sure the cup is clean."

The waitress shot him a nasty look. She turned and marched off into the kitchen.  Two minutes later, she was back. "Two cups of black coffee," she announced.

"Which one of you wanted the clean cup?"
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on October 28, 2019, 07:36:55 PM
A man was driving down the highway late one night when his minivan broke down. He turned on his flashers and tried to get someone's attention to help him. Eventually a Lamborghini Countach pulls up.  "Any chance I could get a lift into town?" said the minivan driver.
 
"I can do better than that," the man driving the Countach replied. "I've got a V-12 under this hood, I can tow you to the nearest town, no problem. Just honk your horn and flash your lights if I start going too fast."
 
They head off down the road and eventually come to a stop light and up pulls a Ferrari F40 with a V-10. The F40 began to rev its engine to get the Countach to race. The Countach revs its engine and the light turns green. They fly out of there, and about a half a mile down the road they pass a speed trap.  The officer there watches them pass and radios to base saying, "Base, you will not believe what I just saw. A F40 and a Countach were driving down the road doing about 120 with a minivan honking its horn and flashing its lights trying to pass them!"
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on November 08, 2019, 06:37:46 PM
Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requests shelter there.  Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted.  After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers.  The first one says, "Hello, I am brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."

"I'm very pleased to meet you," replies the nun. "I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."

She turned to the other Brother and says  "then you must be...?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on November 08, 2019, 06:41:28 PM
My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss." 

He then taped it to his office door.  Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: "Your wife called. She wants you to bring her sign back."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on November 13, 2019, 05:57:02 PM
A lawyer phoned the governor's mansion shortly after midnight. "I need to talk to the governor it's an emergency!" exclaimed the lawyer.

After some cajoling, the governor's assistant agreed to wake him up.  "So, what is it that's so important that it can't wait until morning?" grumbled the governor.

"Judge Pierson just died, and I want to take his place," begged the attorney.

"Well, it's okay with me if it's okay with the funeral home."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on November 13, 2019, 05:58:12 PM
One Sunday a minister preached about shepherds.  He explained that sheep need lots of guidance, and that a shepherd's job is to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals, and keep them from wandering off.  He said that the people of the church were God's sheep.  Then he asked, "If you are the sheep, who is the shepherd?"  (He was pretty obviously indicating himself.)

After a few seconds, a young boy piped up: "Jesus! Jesus is the shepherd."

The minister, caught by surprise, asked, "Well, then, who am I?"

The boy frowned thoughtfully.  "I guess you must be a sheep dog."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on November 16, 2019, 03:57:19 PM
Cop: You know how fast you were going?

Guy: Sorry officer, I was just trying to catch up with traffic.

Cop: What traffic? The road is empty.

Guy: Yea, that's how far behind I am.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on November 21, 2019, 06:48:22 PM
About a week ago, I saw an Internet column about eliminating paperwork clutter.  Great!  So I printed out the instructions and put them on top of the rest of the stuff on my desk.  Now I can't find them.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on November 24, 2019, 05:09:26 PM
I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost.  Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit.  Sure enough, after only a short time of searching, he found a gas cap. He carefully wiped it off and slipped it into place with a satisfying click.  "Great," he told his wife as he climbed back into the car, "I may have lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits and it's even a better cap than the one I had it locks..."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on December 21, 2019, 03:35:09 PM
Q: What is a Snowman's favorite aunt?
A: Aunt Arctica 

Q: Who was the meanest Reindeer?
A: RUDEolf 

Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A: A Holly Davison 

Q: What is Papa Smurf's favorite phrase at Christmastime?
A:  I'll be blue just thinking of you.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on December 21, 2019, 03:41:52 PM
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
For Moms
 
Twas the night before Christmas
When all thru the abode
Only one creature was stirring
And she was cleaning the commode.

The children were finally sleeping
All snug in their beds,
While visions of Nintendo and Barbie
flipped through their heads.

The dad was snoring in front of the TV
with a half-constructed bicycle on his knee.
So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter Which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?"

With toilet bowl brush
Still clutched in her hand
She descended the stairs and saw the old man.
He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
"Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug."

"Ho-ho-ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake."
"Your gift was especially difficult to make."
"Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone."
"Exactly!" he chuckled, "I've made you a clone."

"A clone?" she asked, "What good is that?
Run along, Santa, I've no time for chit-chat."

The mother's twin,
Same hair, same eyes,
Same double chin.
"She'll cook, she'll dust," she'll mop every mess.
You'll relax, take it easy,
Watch The Young & the Restless."

"Fantastic!" the mom cheered.
"My dream come true! "
I'll shop. I'll read.
I'll sleep a whole night through!"

From the room above the youngest began to fret.
"Mommy?! I scared... and I wet."
The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart."
"Hey," the mom smiled, "She knows her part."

The clone changed the small one and hummed a tune As she bundled the child in a blanket cocoon.
"You're the best mommy ever. I really love you."
The clone smiled and sighed, "I love you, too."

The mom frowned and said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal."
That's my child's love she's trying to steal."
Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear.
Only one loving mother is needed here."

The mom kissed her child and tucked her into bed.
"Thank you, Santa," for clearing my head.
I sometimes forget it won't be very long when they'll be too old for my cradle-song."

The clock on the mantle began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone,
"It works every time."
With the clone by his side, Santa said, "Goodnight Merry Christmas, dear Mom. You'll be just fine!"
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Amanda_George on January 11, 2020, 07:58:37 PM
"Old MacDonald had a terrible Scrabble hand ... E-I-E-I-O."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on January 12, 2020, 05:01:19 PM
:rofl:
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on January 13, 2020, 03:09:44 PM
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

2016: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.

2017: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.

2018: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

2019: I will work out 3 days a week.

2020: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on March 01, 2020, 01:58:29 PM
Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister.  The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they'd have to move.  "It's no use," Robbie said. "She's crawling good now and she'd probably just follow us."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on April 01, 2020, 05:18:56 PM
Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.  A curious neighbor wandered over and asked from a distance if he was going to have a garage sale.  "No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date. He'll be taking the car out soon to pick up the girl."

"So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor.

"Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys, and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work, I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on April 04, 2020, 12:32:12 PM
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.  "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.  Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.  The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.  She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(You sang it, didn't you? Yeah, I know you did.)
Title: Re: Jokes thread
Post by: Pip on June 16, 2020, 09:18:38 AM
I was in a long line at 7:45 am at the grocery store that opened at 8:00 for seniors only. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.  He returned and tried to cut in again, but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.  As he approached the line for the 3rd time he said, "If you people don't let me unlock the door, none of you will ever get in to shop."