Author Topic: Jokes thread  (Read 60625 times)

Pip

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #630 on: August 10, 2019, 05:50:42 PM »
For the first time in many years, a friend of ours traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie.  After buying his ticket he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $11.50, my friend couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movie, popcorn was only 15 cents."

"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."

Pip

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #631 on: August 15, 2019, 08:11:05 PM »
The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.  When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.  "What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic," her mother said.

"It's too late! the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain."

Pip

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #632 on: August 15, 2019, 08:17:22 PM »
I was driving home from work when I was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Three days later, I got the same ticket, at the same stop, from the same cop.  “So, have you learned anything?” asked the cop.

“Yes, I have,” I began. “I've learned it's time to find a new way home from work.”

Pip

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #633 on: August 18, 2019, 05:02:54 PM »
One evening, a bird-lover stood in his backyard and hooted like an owl and an owl called back to him!  They had a whole "conversation."  He tried it again the next night, and the next and the owl always answered.  He was fascinated.  Sometime later his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor. "My husband spends his nights calling out to owls," she said.

"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."

Just then it dawned on them.