Can't cope

[Munchroom]

 %^% I'm proud of you willows and you should be too, I know how unbelivably hard it is to get through a shift.

I have been thinking about you today and will again tomorrow, I hope it goes ok for you and that you find the stregnth xxx

[Sweetpea]

Well done for getting through your shift. It took courage to stay and you did it. I do so hope you get through todays shift ok. S x x x x

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[willows]

Cried all the way in to work again and now sitting alone crying when I should be working. I keep pushing myself to come in so I don't give up but I am fooling no one, including myself, that I am capable of anything right now.

[Sweetpea]

Oh Willows I am so sorry. Please take care. You have your appointment tomorrow. I know you are not looking foward to it but they specialise in depression and will help you get through this (((( hugs )))). S x x x x

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[willows]

Anxious more than I can explain tonight. Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow is really stressing me. I am taking a couple of hours out of my shift to go to it but I think I should probably have taken the day off because I am not sure how I will be when into back to work but i could not take the day off because I am hosting a public meeting in the evening which was going to be tough enough when I arranged it not knowing my appointment was going to be brought forward. The meeting was always going to be tough for me but it all seems so overwhelming with the psych appointment thrown in as we'll. I already know sleep is going to be impossible tonight but if I don't sleep the pain of wanting to end it all will be more unbearable than it is right now. This is all more than I can cope with.

[willows]

Sitting here shaking and crying. I really can't deal with today. Don't know how to make myself leave the house.

[Munchroom]

 %^%

What time is your appointment? I know its going to be hard but.please try and keep in mind that all a pshyciatrist will want to do is help you.

Thinking of you xxx

[Buttercup]

Hope it went well Willow xxxxx

[willows]

The psychiatrist has changed my medication to Venlafaxine. I have to not take the paroxitine for two days then start on the new drug. He said I will need to be very kind to myself for the couple of days of no meds as I will feel awful! I am also going to be seeing a psychologist every week for two months and then he will review me at that stage. He was not happy about the way my medication had been changed three times in the space of the last seven months and stated that it wasn't surprising that I had felt so much worse over the last couple of months as my gp have taken me off a fairly high does of mitazapine and put me on a low dose of paroxitine which was simple not an adequate dose for severe depressive illness. I hope and prey that the new med will help.

[Buttercup]

Hi

Glad to hear it went well  hopefully things will improve for you very soon.

I agree things will be tough for a few days. Just try not to push yourself and keep in mind that things will get better soon  %^%

[willows]

Second day of no meds. Don't know how I am going to get through this.

[Michael Frankum]

Dear Willows, I hope that things are getting a little easier for you.  *() Thinking of you with best wishes. Michael  %^%

[Zaf]

 %^% %^%

Z xxx

[willows]

Desperate to fall asleep to get away from the thoughts going around and around in my head.

[Pip]

 %^%