Hello My Name Is Paul

[Lol]

Her side of the family sound like a flipping nightmare!! I'm sorry your lovely mum had that experience. You must feel like giving her such an earful. Well done for not going, you may have said somthing your really regretted and in front of the boys too. Congratulations to your mum for not doing, must have been so difficult to bite her tongue.

People can be so callous

[Paulnp63]

Your poor mum    it sounds like your mother in law wouldnt know compassion or understanding if it came up and bit her on the bum    its a good job you didnt go, well done for taking the advice not to go, some people wouldnt have!

I really did want to and plan to go to start with Zaf, but after the phonecall last week knocking me down and the advice I got, I am glad I changed my mind, I'm beginning to feel sorry for my wife in away, but then she did sort of get her mum involved so she'll have to live with what's happened when or if she ever comes to terms with it all, my only concern now is the boys and finding a way to get myself better, at the moment I feel so tired again and having headaches, I'm not only sleeping at night I am also sleep at times during the day also my mum wants me to do some jobs down the local village hall, a few weeks ago I sat and shook and had a nasty headache when she said lets go and paint the shed out the back of the hall, spent the rest of the day laying down, having the chance of work has never done that to me before.

All the best,

Paul :)

[Paulnp63]

Hi Paul
So sorry about the upset but great that you had such a lovely time with your boys, and good that you didn't have that confrontation. Sorry that your Mum was upset. Great that you had cuddles, that really helps.Also good that your boys keep in touch, and you can talk on the phone.
Keep strong and hope you get to see them again very soon.
Thinking of you
Di XX

I slept both evenings now when I was going to call them and woke up to late as they would have gone to bed, will want to call them tomorrow night as they will be back from Cubs and will have more to talk about, also my youngest would have played football after school tonight, we bought him football boots, shin pads and socks while he was here and would like to know how he got on, so two questions in one for him. I hoping my mother-in-law isn't there though, it's hard enough talking to my wife as it is without her in the background.

All the best Di

Paul :)

[Paulnp63]

Her side of the family sound like a flipping nightmare!! I'm sorry your lovely mum had that experience. You must feel like giving her such an earful. Well done for not going, you may have said somthing your really regretted and in front of the boys too. Congratulations to your mum for not doing, must have been so difficult to bite her tongue.

People can be so callous

Inside I would love to shout her down Lol, but I feel I would probably ended up like my mum (my mum is a big softy and wouldn't hurt a fly, mind you I'm much the same), I may be strong when needed, but I'm not strong enough to stand up to her at the moment, I think what it may have done if I had gone is maybe raise my blood pressure and maybe had a possible heart attack who knows, while here, my mum felt like doing or saying lots of things, but in a public car park it wasn't a place to do it, also she said what would it really gain lowering herself to their level and shouting abuse back, we are just upset that they just don't or won't understand. The one thing we have been very careful of is trying not to discuss any of this in front of the boys, my mum has already said that my eldest will always have his nanna throwing me out on his mind for the rest of his life and could hate her for it more and more as time goes on.

All the best,

Paul :)

[Zaf]

Hi Paul, I'd guess the tiredness is due to a hectic week and a certain amount of worry about the way your MIL had a go at your mum, I think the headaches are a bit more of a worry and if they persist or get worse you ought to consider going back to your GP to discuss them with him.

Your mum sounds absolutely fantastic, please give her a big hug from me &*(

[Depina]

Hi Paul
Lets hope you get a good chat with your boys tomorrow and find out how they got on at cubs and football. They will love telling you all about it.
Zafs right your mum is lovely. That is a big plus, also they have a great Dad too who realy cares about them.
Hope you are feeling better and that your headache has gone.
Love Di

[Paulnp63]

Hi Paul, I'd guess the tiredness is due to a hectic week and a certain amount of worry about the way your MIL had a go at your mum, I think the headaches are a bit more of a worry and if they persist or get worse you ought to consider going back to your GP to discuss them with him.

Your mum sounds absolutely fantastic, please give her a big hug from me &*(

Will do that Zaf, she is getting quite a few hugs lately having to put up with us all here, she is also worrying about my sister-in-law who is having chemo again at the moment, as it happens I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, will mention the headaches to him so we'll see how that goes, I'm hoping the headaches are just the worry of everything. I am supposed to have a call from a counsellor on Monday so I am told, perhaps when I start going to see him I shall start to feel better about things and lose the headaches.

All the best,

Paul :)

[Paulnp63]

Hi Paul
Lets hope you get a good chat with your boys tomorrow and find out how they got on at cubs and football. They will love telling you all about it.
Zafs right your mum is lovely. That is a big plus, also they have a great Dad too who realy cares about them.
Hope you are feeling better and that your headache has gone.
Love Di

Yes I did Di, the youngest one talks more about the activities he does than the eldest one, had to push my eldest a little more towards cubs and beavers, once there he really enjoys it, more than he lets on I think, I never went to Cubs when I was his age, I had the chance and now I really wish I had, so a little jealous, I'm not into being a leader though, the youngest really is beginning to enjoy his football games after school and Cubs as well, he is a selective mute and hasn't yet spoken at school or at Beavers and Cubs, the only ones he speaks to are a couple of his classmates in whisper form, me, my wife, mother-in-law and my mum, he wouldn't speak when my dad was in the room even though he is pretty much deaf these days,

Night and all the best,

Paul :)

[Zaf]

Hope all goes well with your appointment Paul, how are you feeling now?

[Paulnp63]

Hope all goes well with your appointment Paul, how are you feeling now?

I feel much better than I have done thank you Zaf, doctor was pleased with my progress although he is a little worried about my blood pressure still being slightly high, wasn't to worried about my headaches as he thought the same as me, tiredness and worry causing them, I said about my struggle towards work and he said the counselling will help with that, meanwhile I continue with the anti-depressants and avoid all contact with my mother-in-law, thankfully she's in Cornwall 300 miles away so that should be easy and I have to be strong and end phonecalls if she's in the background if I'm ever talking to my wife for any reason, other than that as I say all seems fine. I am still having extra sleep during the day which I can't seem to help stop at the moment, now can't get to sleep tonight, so going to watch 'Speeders' on Dave shortly, got to love that programme, seeing the american public caught speeding unexpectedly and sharing their views and their wacky excuses are so funny.

Hope your ok too Zaf?

Night

Paul :)

[Zaf]

Thats great to hear Paul :) the advice from your doctor sounds very sensible, especially about your mother in law.  Dont worry about needing extra sleep, it is very normal as your body needs it to heal.


I'm not too bad thanks, having sleeping problems at the moment but it will improve as the nature of the illness is ups and downs and luckily I know that so dont worry too much when one of the downs arrives.

Take care xx

[Paulnp63]

Well Zaf as you say about the ups and downs, I'm beginning to realise I will have them from time to time, going from what happened the other week when the boys were here, the downer I had was not as bad as what I had a few months ago, so I must be getting better, my doctor has been brilliant I think, sadly he is leaving at the end of the month he told me, I don't really mind the extra sleep, it's just the time I seem to have it, it can mess a day up, not long woke up from a few hours sleep, means I missed going to a firework meeting earlier, oh well :)

Hope you get some much needed sleep and your day wasn't to much of a downer,

night and take care too,

Paul :)

[Zaf]

I think you're right Paul that in general that the downs become less deep when your recovery starts, its certainly how it is for me.

Its a shame your current doctor is leaving but the next one will have your notes and if you really find you dont get on with him/her it is possible to change to another one.

I was tired yesterday but not down, unfortunately I'm wide awake at 4am again but it will improve sometime and for the moment I must try not to let it get me own too much...

Hope things continue to impove for you xxx

[Paulnp63]

Hi Zaf,

Sunday my mum said lets get those jobs done at the local village hall, no one is there all day, it did worry me, but thought I have to do this, I have got to do this, well I did go and do the jobs, took me at least twice as long as I used to do them and really was shaking, but I did it and finished the jobs, got home and head pounding went and laid down, couldn't sleep, got myself in a right mess, took me a day to settle I suppose, but keep saying to myself , "its ok I did the jobs, whats the matter with me I did it, think positive, I did it", I did go back to sleeping all over the place again, just couldn't focus on the computer, I have slowly felt better over yesterday and I felt much much better today, did have a sleep earlier so I guess thats why I am awake now.

Zaf you have been one who has been so helpful to me over the weeks, it's been a small part of lifting me from where I was a couple of months ago, reading what the others are going though too, makes you realise your not alone in this, we all can understand the illness, well I do now, learnt a lot on here more than I probably would have elsewhere I'm sure.

I've got an appointment on the 18th November to see my appointed counsellor, understand about the doctor, will have to see how it goes after the next visit, getting used to having my arms pumped up 3 or 4 times each now having my blood pressure checked, didn't get quite so many pins and needles last visit in my hands.

Hoping your ok and get a good nights sleep,

Till later, take care,

Paul :)

[Zaf]

Hi Paul

You possibly did a bit too much at once but well done all the same,  its a big achievement and you can look back and know you managed to do it if you are faced with another challenge :)

Thanks Paul, thats a lovely thing to say :)   I think we all understand depression from the 'inside' which is why we can help each other so much,  however good a health professional is I dont think they can truly understand unless they have actually suffered themselves, its great coming in here has helped you so much :)

I'm tackling my insomnia with aromatherapy and so far it seems to be making a small difference, last night I only woke up twice and both times managed to get back to sleep again which makes a change from waking up around 2am and not being able to get back to sleep so hopefully eventually I'll get to sleep all night without waking up :)

Hope all continues to improve for you, take care and give your mum a big hug from me

Z xx