SI how do i explain scars, possibly triggering

[cornish]

yeah its called body integrity identity disorder

[Zaf]

No wonder I couldnt remember what it was called with a name like that.

Its not something I would suggest lightly but it may be an answer if you really feel you cant live with your fingers, what concerns me is that if you did manage to get rid of your fingers would you then turn your attention to another part of your body?

[cornish]

oh no definitely not, its a very difficult thing to explain.

[Zaf]

It might be worth talking to someone in your mental health team about it if the fingers cause you so much distress, its not something to rush into of course but if you got to the state you were 100% sure and you felt it was the right course of action it would at least be done surgically and in sterile circumstances.

[cornish]

ive talked about it before and i personally dont think its BIID.  there more worried about my other conditions and the SI and part of the SI caused by the fingers

also i have had a few attempts to actually remove them and have a very intricate plan on how to   the only thing that stops me is the guilt of making a bloody mess 

[Zaf]

I would be really worried if you were to attempt it yourself, there is so much that could go wrong and leave your hand in a worse state than it is now

[cornish]

I would be really worried if you were to attempt it yourself, there is so much that could go wrong and leave your hand in a worse state than it is now

i have made an attempt and got down to bone.

[Zaf]

I really think you need to discuss it thoroughly with the doctors, there is more to amputation than simply cutting something off, also dont forget many amputees can still feel their absent limbs so even with your fingers gone you might still be able to feel some sensation

[Lol]

Cornish you would be in danger of damaging nerves further which would have a knock on effect further up your hand/arm!! Not to mention the very intricate blood supply and great veins and arteries that would need to be very expertly ligated! It's not a good idea. No amount of dental floss would tie those mothers off! The use of gillies and thread is a very 2 handed job! The bones need to be disarticulated not just hacked through and this is itself is a very complicated and more challenging job than it at first looks. what would you do with the synovial fluid of the articulating joints? how would you prevent joint effusion? Your blood pressure would be above surgical limits and you would not be able to control the haemorrhage it created, even if you touniqueted you would have to do a very strict release - re-tourniquet regime so the rest of your hand didn't die and you would most likely end up with deep and superficial tissue necrosis which would eventually lead to gangrene and likely further amputation.

[cornish]

i have discussed it with them and there extremely concerned and have promised not to do anything for at least a little while longer. if they see any more si in that area then they will be forced to take action, i think that means sectioning

all that has been considered zaf

lol i have gone into it and have an extremely detailed and intricate plans. i have looked into every way of doing it, i wont go into detail here but i have taken all of that into consideration and read a lot about it all and i do mean everything, its suppressing what you can find on the internet, there are very detailed explanations and even videos of the surgery. i like to do my research on anything i do, i get a bit ocd about small details some times and hmmm i was going to say if but i think its more of a when i do it then it will be done properly and as safely as i can, there will be no short cuts (haha  ) taken at all and it will all be done in a sterile way.


but worst case scenario i would do it in a way that was as clean and leaving enough tissue to close the wound up.


really sorry if any of this is distressing or making anyone worry, thats the last thing i want and i have only recently opened up about this and its difficult, i know this is a bit of a stupid thing to say but i thought you would think im crazy for wanting to remove what is effectively a perfectly good pair of fingers and chunk of my hand

[Zaf]

Its better you talk about it cornish even though it concerns us, please dont hold back for for fear of upsetting anyone.

Its a pity the doctors wont consider surgical removal rather than risk you attemping a DIY job

As lol says there is a lot more to consider than just blood loss etc, apart from everything else have you considered the consequenses if you pass out during the 'procedure'? 

[cornish]

That's taken care of, I have a lone worker alarm that will call a pre set number and play a recorded message if I don't press the "I'm ok" button every 10 minits

[Zaf]

cornish, in 10 minutes you could bleed to death

I know you are determined you can do it but there are so many bad consequenses of what you are planning its definitely a very bad idea.

[cornish]

I know that but to be honest I'm not worried about that

[Lol]

Cornish how would you do this 1 handed?