Hope, that sounds like a really good day :) I know what you mean about your head working things over - I'm on my own most of the day when Chris is at work, but theres always things to distract me or keep me busy. As soon as I'm in bed, Chris is asleep and the lights are off.... the overthinking begins

It's horrible, but
so hard to prevent. I try to concentrate on either my bum exercises

or try and thing of how to make something.... a story or a new cake or recipe idea! Sometimes that doesn't quite work because it makes me want to get get up and jot it down, or do it.
BUT its better than over-thinking, which is awful and not as easy to stop as some people seem to think it is.
Thats really good news about the weekend Cornish :) I know you are dreading it already, but maybe try and plan something? Take a trip somewhere or do some work on your land rover? You are not letting anyone down by not going into work -
everyone needs time off or they will burn themselves out and they won't be any use to anyone! You are being a rational, reasonable human being. You say your boss understands and he is great to work for - but if it gets found out that he is letting you work constantly, with no days off, I have a feeling
he could end up in big trouble, whether he is aware/paying you/putting it through the books or not, the DWP (I presume) would just see him as the employer and you as the employee - everythings pretty black and white to them as I have found out!!
Have you mentioned to your doctor about your memory and losing hours? It might not be your illness, but down to the high dosage of meds you are on?
OR it could be your minds way of helping you cope - I had a pretty awful time at secondary school, so much so that I had to be taken out of school and home tutored for the 2 GCSE's that I was able to take - but I can only remember snapshots of that time, if you asked me to put them in any sort of order or tell you exactly what happened, I wouldn't be able to. Its not that my memory is terrible, I can tell you in detail things that happened before that and immediately after I finished school - but I feel my mind has blanked out massive areas of a very difficult time in my life simply to protect me.
Zaf, I'm really sorry you are feeling so rotten today. Perhaps it is the weekend catching up with you - I often find if I have done something big, its not the day after I feel it, but a few days down the line. The feeling you described yesterday is awful - I have had it a few times and I literally do not know where to put myself. Going out for a short walk can help a little, getting some fresh air and making yourself feel a little more physically tired... but its hard to do when your mind is so exhausted and you just want to sleep but your body won't let you. How about a very relaxing bath with candles, lavender and maybe a little glass of wine (or whatever you like to drink that tends to relax you)? Might help...
I hope you can make it to your treat thismorning and that you enjoy it, you really
do deserve it :)
I'm not going to do
too much today (she says!) I had a very busy day yesterday with my parents... job-centre meeting, picking up a very cool picture from a charity shop and making a new friend in the process(!), a shop in Tescos (which I managed to do on my own whilst my parents went for coffee!! It was hard and I could feel a panic attack coming on a few times, but I managed to hold it back and cope!!!) then walking the dogs with my mum and finding LOTS of wild growing fruit in the field where we walk the dog.... and then vets with Mr Benjamin for is old man jabs (he was not impressed

) and then cooking dinner! AND THEN... I couldnt even go to bed really early as I wanted to because Chris' brother was here playing xbox and he tends to have a very boomy voice, which gets louder when you are trying to sleep!

So yeah... a few quietish days before I work Saturday night I think! Gonna make some Damson jam and see how that turns out before I go and pick billions of the things!

xxx