How are you feeling today?

[hope123]

Smirfy ~ I really wish I could help you, I wish I could get you to stick university out. I hate the fact that its put you off doing what you want to do. I hope your family and friends are supportive. There is nothing worse than unsupportive people. And especially ones that say they understand when really they don’t.  *Hugs* Maybe a little time in the hospital is something good to have to let you talk to people, let you feel as if things will be right again. Just that time to yourself.

Cornish ~ It’s horrible when you shut yourself away, you think it’s all ok to be alone when it can be really lonely at times. But then again I found myself a few months ago mixing with people who made me feel alone. I may have been surrounded by ‘friends’ when really it made me more alone and it didn’t feel like they were friends. We are alike, I haven’t been out for months, the first few months I did, now nothing.

[smirfy21]

thank you hope123 I think that lots of people are feeling like that at the moment and I so wish that I could just wave a magic wand and take away the stress from people who are desperate to help me. but thank you for your lovely comment and your support.

Cornish it is very hard to go into a psychiatrists office and tell them everything that you have wanted to tell them especialy when you are struggling to be there in the first place. It has taken months for me to admit just a few of my concerns and problems to my psychiatrist and when you walk away from your appointment desperately wishing that you had opened up and confessed to your feelings and then at least that way everything could be getting better and you wouldn't have to keep hiding it is very hard.

I have never been very good at making friends and keeping them so unfortunately when I say I am alone I mean completely alone I don't know anybody around me and I dont have family near by. but its only a week and by the end of the week I need to have made a choice about weather or not to go to uni, and weather or not to spend the six weeks in hospital which is a very scairy thought especialy as it does mean telling my very anti mental health family about my very real mental health condition.

what is happening about your friend trying to have you sectioned? I have read up on it and she cannot do that. read up on it and try not to worry about it to much.
smirfy

[Zaf]

Just got in to work,  feeling horribly tired, probably after all I did at the weekend and because David had to leave for work at 2.30am, he did try very hard not to wake me but I heard him go out,  found it difficult to get back to sleep after that but of course eventually did around 5.30 and overslept!

[Munchroom]

Hope  &*( This illness can make us feel so alone and isolated, even when we are surrounded by people. Please know we are all here to support you as much as we can  - send me a message at anytime on fb and if you ever fancy coming up for that woodland walk, just let me know :) xx

[cornish]

Completely  agree with that smirfy.
I used to travel the country with work and I wish I was still able to, I would have made a huge detour just to say hi and let you know your not alone.

I picked my labourer up about 5 Montoya late and got a load of grief from him for it. We were still on site early so it didn't matter and he won't shut up, so I've sent him to the wholesaler, hes bloody ignorant and never does what he's told so I'm expecting him to come back with the wrong stuff like normal
So to have a relax I'm sat on the roof of a factory near Bodmin watching a farmer plow a field.

[Munchroom]

SO tired today, just want to crawl back under the covers. Have the doctors in a bit though 

[Depina]

Hope it goes well - mine on Friday. XX

[seamie]

a wee bit lonely again and in a reflective mood thinking about all the people i have lost

[Catr1na]

Hi how are you hope your well I'm not doing to good having a really bad day today really wish I could just go off and end it all I'm so tired of feeling this way I'm just so tired in general "£"

[Alstare1974]

Hey catrina

Sorry to hear you're having a bad day. I can tell you that I empathise.

[hope123]

Catrina, I hope tomorrow will bring a better day! Stick it out :)

[Catr1na]

Thanks I'm gonna try and sleep hopeful tomorrow might be better

[smirfy21]

Catrina you would be amazed at what a good nights sleep can do, I know how hard it is when you get to the point where all you can think is 'I wish I had the strength to just end it all'. For the past week or so that is all I have thought and I am not saying that it will just magically go away but im sure that we will both wake up one morning and realise life is woth living.

I decided to quit my job this morning as I was being signed off work anyway and I couldn't meet one of my deadlines. something had to give in my life and my job for the time being has to be it. I have tried to keep myself buisy for the rest of the day in an effort not to become anymore depressed or suicidal so I took myself on a long walk where I could just think and let me tell you that was an effort in its self!!

I don't really know what I am going to spend the rest of the week doing but I am going to try not to spend it in bed or on the couch binging on the remains of my fridge as I'm really not sure my body can take anymore.

anyways Catrina I hope you are feeling more like yourself in the morning. Munchroom how did the doctors appointment go?

[cornish]

stopped by at my friends place today as i was passing and he offered me a drive of his land rover 101. always been a dream of mine to take it for a spin on the open road but i had to refuse

not feeling too good now, starting to feel the dosage change side effects   also i asked to work the weekend again, im an idiot i was told by my gp to try and stop doing it, ive been told far too many times and i know im burning my self out

got facebook back again but after 30 mins i already feel horrific 

dont feel like theres any point in anything anymore

[Zaf]

Catrina, I find the tiredness really hard to deal with to, hang in there, it really does get better eventually with rest and medication  &*(

Take the extra days to get some rest as well smirfy, it is an important part of getting better as well as getting out for a walk etc.

Somehow you do need to stop working so hard cornish, I can understand your motivation but, as you say, you are buring yourself out, do you think you should let your doc know about the side effects you are experiencing?

Hugs to everyone....