I can't anymore.

[Zaf]

I am so tired. I am really confused too. Just can't think straight. Hope I die while I'm asleep.

 %^% for you mamalou, I've been there (and wishing I had a terminal illness) its worth fighting even though you dont feellike it right now xxx

[Laura]

Sometimes the best thing to do is try to sleep. Your body gets worn out by all the racing your mind does.
Try not to worry about stuff you are supposed to do for anyone else and focus on what you need to do for you.
You posted on my thread and showed you have some humour left, hang on to that.

I hope you are able to rest and recuperate and that tomorrow will be better.

 %^%

[Ezel]

Mamalou, you did the right thing posting after all this is the whole point of the forums that we can all be honest how we are feeling.  You deserve just as much support as everybody else  *)*

[KateG]

 %^% mamalou

[Sweetpea]

%^% from me too Mamalou. S x x x x

[Owl]

Hey Mamalou,

I'm so sorry to read that you are feeling so awful at the moment. I've felt like I couldn't go on anymore and that nothing was worth it. It's a horrid way to feel and it's really difficult to see any way out of it. I even find that I get upset when people are nice to me because I don't understand it and feel like I'm not worth it. So I completely see where you're coming from.

I hope that you manage to find a way out of this because from what I've experienced on this forum you are exceptionally kind and comforting. Just take it on step at a time and hopefully you'll see that you deserve a happy life like everyone else.

Please take care,
Fox
X

[mamalou]

I officially lost my marbles. I am so confused. I went into a bank this morning and I asked them to update my bank book and guess what I was in totally the wrong bank ! I have lived here for 36 years and I was convinced I was in the right place. I have turned up in the wrong place at the wrong time twice and I genuinely thought I was in the right place. It's really scarey. I find myself in places and don't know how I got there.

I am a bit scared to be honest. So low and so frightened. And still moaning. Sorry.

[Sweetpea]

 %^% mamalou.

S x x x x

[Laura]

That does sound worrying.
It probably is worth talking to a Dr about having memory blanks.

I hope you feel a bit better though.

[Zaf]

 %^% mamalou, I agree about the doctor xxx

[tharidler]

hi mamalou

so sorry to read how difficult things are for you at the moment i think we can all understand that need to get away i often think i could just drop out of life my therapist would say it's my fight or flight mechanism kicking in who knows but it is a tempting thought the wanting to die well i think most of us have those thoughts from time to time and i know it can be both scary and and an option at the same time i sometimes have memory issues and it may be something your therapist can help with or your doctor if it is due to meds if you are taking any but please ask the question to make sure please look after yourself and i hope you are brighter soon

[mamalou]

Thanks for replies. Barely managing to keep myself alive. I am supposed to have a GP appointment and an appointment with my mental health care co-ordinator tommorrow. But I just can't go. I can't cope with the thought of having to talk to anyone. If I didn't have here, I wouldn't have anyone to share with. The lows are lower than I can begin to describe. Trapped inside myself.

Sorry everyone.

x

[Sweetpea]

Don't ever be sorry mamalou.  You do have us here always remember that.  %^% %^% for you.

S x x x x

[Zaf]

I'll second that mamalou  %^% xxx

[mamalou]

Sleeping my life away. Feeling nothing. Hoping I don't wake up in the morning. At least this distress and suffering would end.