Dear Mamalou,
I am sorry that it has taken me this long to get back to you. I found myself without internet and a PC for the last couple of weeks.
Firstly, YES I do believe strongly that you can get better even after 20 years! As I heard today it's never to late to see the light in the distance.
And it took me a very long time to be able to just breathe and let the thoughts and feelings flow without worrying, but once you there: it's far from perfect, but it is most certainly worth it!! If you are really having trouble with this technique try breaking it up into little pieces (whichever way you prefer)- babysteps are the way to learn skills for life!
It also helps me to write all my worries and feelings down. Just a pen and paper and everything that comes up. Then a little break and then some reflection on what I can do to 'heal' them or why they are there.
Best of luck and again sorry for this late reply!! And I have been deeply suicidal and all that goes with it. It can get better!!