Here i am again

[woozywoo]

Thank you for replying. I never really feel that i can help others, i dont have those qualities.

But i feel as though i need all the support i can get, you are right Catbrain, but i feel bad because its the same old story all the time. My story hasnt changed for many years but i am not strong enough to change my circumstances.

[Buttercup]

Some circumstances are hard to change Woozy, it's not that you're not strong enough.

Xxx

[woozywoo]

But sometimes it feels like i am not changing the circumstances because i am absolutely terrified of being alone.

I just want to be happy

[Sweetpea]

I can understand that Woozy.

S x x x x

[Catbrian]

woozy....do ya want to tell us what stuff you wanna change?   I spent yrs putting up with stuff I couldn't change just because I felt too depressed to deal with them. Then I tried new medication and suddenly all that crap I had been putting up with became unacceptable. I was accused of being aggressive when I began to confront the s***/issues.
It's good and wise to take "one day at a time". I try not get too upset with myself because of the bad position I am in. We live....we mess up...and then we learn.  Try not be too hard on yourself. You might not feel strong today but one day that will change.

[Sweetpea]

I remember saying the same thing Woozy, if its what I think it is, it takes courage but you can do it, I did.

S x x x x

[woozywoo]

I am in a 13 year relationship that needs to end. Things havent been great for years. We both have our own issues and we dont seem to work anymore. We also want very different things from the future.

BUT we get on well. We still enjoy each others company and laugh together often. But its more a brother/sister relationship now.

I know deep down i want more and he cant give that to me, but i am terrified of being alone and never meeting anyone who wants to put up with me and i am worried about hurting him. He is a good person and doesnt mean harm.

[Sweetpea]

I thought it was something like this, you need to think of yourself and your happiness.  I was scared of being alone too, but I couldn't cope with the miserable situation I was in.  Being alone was for me, better than what I had.  I am now very happily re-married.  But if I hadn't met Craig I would rather of stayed alone than suffer anymore.  Hope this makes sense.

S x x x x

[Catbrian]

I can understand that woozy. I remember that fear only too well. I think that is why I adopted the "celibacy attitude". Taking time out for myself sort of took the sting out of feeling so lonely. Would you really want to jump from one relationship to another?
Who can tell what will happen in the future. I wonder if you talk it over with your partner. I really feel for you on this one, woozy

[Buttercup]

I can understand that Woozy. Do you think he feels the same way?

[woozywoo]

We have tried talking it over and i get the impression he doesnt want me to leave. But i also want something in the future that he doesnt and i cant let that go.

I am just fed up of it. Its not the cause of my depression, but it is affecting my emotional well being. I have been battling for years with this issue in relationship and for more years with the depression, tired of it all.

[Zaf]

Have you thought some sort of counselling, either jointly or alone? xxx

[Buttercup]

I agree with Zaf. Xxx

[woozywoo]

I suggested joint counselling years ago but he never wanted to. In the last month or so, he did say about it. But i think there are too many things that are different now.

I see a consultant that i am doing privately and she is wonderful and i think better than anoy of the counselling i have had in the past.

[Zaf]

It might be worth giving it a shot.

Great to have found a good counsellor, they're worth their weight in gold :)

Z xx