Hi guys +-_
That is a nice thing for you to say in your last post, CaptK, especially at the moment, when I am feeling worthless. You have really made me laugh today. The last time I looked “down belowâ€, I had a ‘little man’ and not a ‘little lady’!!!
I have actually been around the Forum these past few days, keeping track of what people say. However, sometimes my entire emotional state is completely dumb and, unbelievably, I have difficulty finding the words to write. I am calling this my “dead-cycles†because that’s exactly what I feel like.
Before the PD diagnosis, I did put these phases down to depression. Now I see them strongly connecting with cluster A of PD. The suspicious and paranoid thought processes are particularly potent and I usually feel emotionally cold, preferring my own company. I have difficulty thinking straight and can have eccentric and odd thoughts and some strange behaviour. Unfortunately, these are all consistent with the Cluster A headings of Paranoia, Schizoid, and Schizotypal
People have difficulty understanding the extent of our debilitating depressive symptoms. I think this is because they commonly misinterpret depression, in general. Most people, at some point in their life, have had experience of mild depression. They mistakenly interpret our acute illness as being similar to theirs. If we were lucky enough to suffer mild symptoms of depression, then we too could “pull ourselves together†or “just get on with itâ€. It must be frustrating for our loved ones to view our circumstances like this; to believe we are capable of “soldiering onâ€. Rather than feel upset, I suppose we should be grateful they would never fully understand our personal hell.
CaptK, I think the way your therapist has been conducting himself is not very good. What benefit monthly sessions are to anyone in the initial stages of therapy, I will never understand. But, to then cancel appointments and not give you another asap, is taking the p1ss. This is how my last Psychiatrist conducts his business and I can understand how frustrating it must feel.
I agree with what BC said a few posts ago, Therapists or even GP’s are not qualified to make MH diagnosis. IMO, they are not qualified to discuss this with the “clientâ€, unless of course, they are echoing what a Psychiatrist is saying. Take this advice from someone who has been through similar experiences with HIS CMHT, request an assessment by the Consultant Psychiatrist. Not only will you benefit from an official diagnosis, I believe you would enjoy the whole process. As part of that assessment, the Psychiatrist will give recommendations for treatment and will refer you onto whatever kind of therapy you will benefit from. I feel you will get a lot from a more intense period of therapeutic care.