OCD

[Got]

Has anyone else here got OCD?

[Zaf]

I have a few minor rituals but dont think it counts, what form does it take Stevie (if you dont mind saying)

[Got]

No I don't mind...I'm open about it. I've had it my whole life, I used to have strange rituals that would last hours sometimes. I used to do very many and strange things, but the most prominant was, and is to an extent, if I think something bad, for example a relative dying, whilst performing, an action (such as sitting down) I would have to repeat that action  a certain number of times to prevent it from happening. But things like tha I have control over now, it is annoying at most, but during times of stress I can have intrusive thoughts.

But the worst part for me, is that I ruminante, and that leads to severe depression. For example, what happened with my girlfriend recently, I have being thinking about it for every waking hour of the day for three months, and I dream about it, and that leads to awful depression...enough to make you want to do yourself in. This is the side of things I can deal with, and to be honest....it is ruining my life.

People often make light of OCD, including GP's but it is a horrible distressing illness.

[Zaf]

so probably finding a way to get rid of the depression and/or the intrusive thoughts would help the OCD?

[Got]

Yes indeed.

The ruminating is the worst part, I spoken to CBT therapists about this and they don't know what to suggest. Its amazing how many  professionals still seem to think OCD is checking locks and washing your hands. I have neither and never have.

[Zaf]

I check locks and wash my hands - but not as much as I would call OCD proper (if you know what I mean?) but it does get on other people's nerves sometimes!

When you say ruminating do you mean going over events past and/or future over and over and over again in your mind?

[Got]

Yes, going over and over in your mind to an obssesive level about something. For many OCD sufferers it can be the silliest of things, for example looking at a child, and then worrying for the next two weeks that you are a paedophile. In my adulthood though, I only seem to ruminate of real events, but I find that so much more stressfull because it definatly is real. This is something I beleive may contribute majorly to my depression, but it is difficult to get any advice on this on NHS, getting help for OCD is tough, and it is difficult to get treated for depression and OCD together.

It is quite shocking, the level of care for OCD sufferers. I've even had some therapists say to me 'just dont think about it' or try to train your mind to stop thinking about it' Unfortunatly, it is very hard for someone who doesn't have OCD to realise just how powerful and overiding rumination actually is.

[Zaf]

I would guess its similar to the difference between someone feeling fed up and someone who is clinically depressed?  Someone thats fed up can "buck yourself up" but saying that to someone thats depressed is probably the silliest and often one of the most harmful things to say.

I tend to have 'what ifs' and in the past would worry about them until it made me physically ill on some occasions,  I'm not sure if the advice I got from my counsellor that has helped me reduce those to a minimum would be of any help to you?

[Got]

What ifs, checking locks and frequent hand washing could all be OCD traits. People use different techniques to over come them, but one of the most common, and the one I found the most powerful, is to identify that they are irrational and label them as being OCD. If you give into these traits, you are teaching your mind that they work.

I suppose any advice would help, it either will work or it wont. I'd love to stop obsessing over what had happened because it is making me quite ill.

[Zaf]

I use the 'whats the worst that can happen' for locking doors and washing hands which usually works but I still get half way up the road and have to turn round to check Ive locked up  a lot of times,  I'm better than I was but it drives OH mad at times!  Thinking about it I tend to check and double check the gate is properly shut (in case the dogs get out) and other things too at times.

You might find that meditation helps and mindfullness, both of them are supposed to still the mind but Ive found even after 10 years of practice that some days my mind is full of absolute rubbish that keeps intruding.

You might try tai chi, that is one thing I find absolutely no thoughts can get past working on my form, if you dont fancy classes there are a couple of really good DVDs that teach the short form that I can let you have the names of.

Things that were suggested by my counsellor were: 1. Take the thought as though its a physical thing, put it in a box or a drawer and make it stay there.  2.  See what the thought feels like (for me its often a sort of burning sensation in my chest), picture it, if you can give it a colour, imagine it going from wherever it is in your body into one of your hands and throw it as far away as you can (in my case I sometimes have to try that lots of times as it seems to stick to my hand!). There were others but atm I cant remember them,  I use the throwing away technique which works quite well for me, but I dont think I have true OCD so it may simply be that they work for people that worry about things past and future rather than obsessively worry.

Hope that isnt too garbled?

[Got]

No thank you...that is usefull thanks. The tai chi sounds good to me....but if could see me, you would giggle at what an amusing sight that would be.

What your describing sounds very much like real OCD to be honest....but not sevre... Sometimes, when people have just a few tendancies, it is considered that they have OCD traits but not actually a dissorder, but I find thats an over simplification...I think this is a way of determinig whether or not you need treatment. You are considered to have OCD when the rituals interfere with your every day life and occupy your time. Then again you get people with OCD who have no external rituals at all...but it all goes on inside their head.

I find it a bit odd that I can be told I dont have true OCD, and then a few months later I qualify as having severe OCD, and then I few months later, I'm OCD free again. As far as I am concerned I have OCD....it just goes up and down.

[Zaf]

Tai Chi truly is the one thing that I can do that stops all other thoughts intruding into my life while I'm practicing,  I'll find the names of the two DVDs I have for you, I practice at home with them on the TV or outside with a portable DVD player when the weather is good enough :)  and who cares what we look like?!

It possibly is but its never really affected how I function in everyday life,  I suppose the 'what ifs' and sometimes obsessive thoughts may be what contributes to my depression on occasions though.

I cant see how you can have it sometimes and not others,  I'd have thought its a case of you can control it better at times than you can at others?

[Got]

Exactly, sometimes I have more control over it. I follow an OCD charity, and one of the main things they are trying to push is a better understanding and more appropriate treatment for OCD sufferers.

OCD has become such a household name, that nobody seems to realise its severity, unfortunatly, including some doctors....much the same complaints with depression I suppose.

[Zaf]

it seems to be something thats very much pushed under the mat by the NHS like a lot of things they dont want to spend money on, including depression 

[lbruk]

I dont have OCD, as in the traditional sense of cleanliness, or rituals. But i do suffer from intrusive thoughts, which is also a part of OCD apparently. Its not nice and scares the crap out of me when it happens. It takes a lot to calm myself down when it does happen.