I'm not sure if anything I do could be classed as OCD or whether it is just anxiety, I suspect it's more likely to just be anxiety, mild anxiety at that
I make lists which must be followed strictly and checked, my most important ones are a list of things I must do when I get ready for school in the mornings, one for when I get home and one for when i'm getting ready for bed
I'd fall apart without them, i've been using lists for years
It seems so stupid from an outsider point of view that I have to have lists that say things like "Brush teeth" "Get dressed" "Deodorant" etc as if I would forget to do those things, but I genuinely think now that if I didn't have them I would forget something even something as obvious as that
I think it's because i'm so used to following the list from a piece of paper that it's not programmed into my brain like it is with other people, I genuinely can't understand how the rest of the world manage to do all this stuff without needing to think about it
I check the lists several times to check I haven't missed anything and no matter how behind time I may be, everything on the list has to be done. They bring order into my life, particularly the mornings which are usually stressful and rushed to get the bus to school
Those are my most important lists, but I have others such as one for things I have to put in my schoolbag, again I can't understand how other people manage to take everything they need by just thinking about it from the top of their head
The anxiety is a normal part of my life, I find it difficult to think of examples since I live with it every day, but the point during my day when i'm most anxious is usually when I go to get the bus in the mornings. I live a 2 minute walk away from my bus stop and usually leave the house 5 minutes before it leaves. I have never missed the bus in the mornings in my whole 5 years of high school/a levels yet it still stresses me out
I always walk up to the bus stop as fast as possible with my heart pounding, with thoughts running through my head about missing it even though I know I won't.
That's the frustrating part - I know I won't miss it, I know i'm on time, I know the driver won't decide to leave early, and I know that if I did miss it, nothing earth shattering would happen - I would just get the next bus at 11 and sign into school late, yet I can't get past the stress I feel
I don't even want to post this now but since I spent ten minutes on it, i'm too stubborn not to.