First Post!

[Depina]

Hi Alistare
I think you need to do what you need to do- I mean if you can, like sleep if you are tired, talk and cry if you need to. etc Don't feel guilty- I know I do, but I try not to as it really isn't our fault, You have been through so much, we can only take so much.
Don't know what else to say but you must be strong for all you have done.
Its early days, you will be happy again
Hugs
XXX

[Alstare1974]

Doc prescribed me amitryptelene yesterday instead of the zopiclone to help me sleep. Actually managed to get to sleep before 1130 last night rather than my usual 2am. Been up doing stuff since 1030 this morning and going to try and stay up all day if I can. Hope I can carry this on.

[Lol]

Alstare this is brilliant! Ride the good times and acknowledge them whilst you can. Think about any way you feel better and really try to make a memory out of it so that if things get more difficult again you can remember that things can and do start to feel better and they will again. I'm really pleased at the difference you are feeling. Well done. Concentrate on the better feeling and whilst doing that stick your tongue out to depression.

[Zaf]

Thats great Alstare :) 

[Alstare1974]

Well crisis team have been. As I thought there's nothing they can do to help. On plus side my cpn has recommended tamazepam to my doctor for a sleeping aid. Just hope I can get doctor to call me back before chemist closes. Doubt it somehow. Was supposed to be on the amitryptelene but concussion between cpn and doc meant all sleeping meds were totally withdrawn :-(

[Zaf]

Hope you get your meds sorted by tonight Alstare, its horrible not being able to sleep

[Lol]

Alstare I hope you have some meds by now. I'm sorry to hear the crisis team wasn't the best experience. What did they do and talk about? Did nothing good come of it at all?

[Alstare1974]

They're very concerned about my suicidal thoughts and that I have a really good grasp on a working plan to end it. One of them did say they admired me for carrying on with everything I have going on. They ruled out hospital as being too traumatic on a psych ward. They said there wasn't much else they could offer.

[Lol]

OK I see. Alstare, if you've got nothing to loose would you like to spill ALL the beans and see if we can help you through this?

[Alstare1974]

I've told you everything that's going on.

[Lol]

OK. Sorry I thought I had seen you had said something about not having told us the whole story in an earlier post. My mistake. Sorry.

[Alstare1974]

No I jus said I hadn't previously mentioned I was currently in trouble with the police and that I had a traumatic day yesterday because of it. It's adding heavily to my reason for wanting to end it all. But I don't need to go into the details of why I'm in trouble, surely that's not what this place is about. I will say I haven't hurt anyone!

[Zaf]

I think most people that have suicidal thoughts have a plan how to do it, I certainly knew where and how and had the means to do it (I still have actually, but not sure why) but now after many years of suffering from depression I really do feel I can more or less control it and have made a lot of progress this episode on understanding the illness and how I can help myself not to keep on the never ending cycle.  

There is light at the end of the tunnel Alstare, its just a damned long tunnel

[Lol]

Sorry Alstare I didn't realise you were in trouble with the police, I didn't mean to pry I just thought it was something else you were having trouble tackling that maybe you needed to get off your chest. But no worries, just leave it there I didn't mean to cause you to feel uncomfortable or that you had to explain yourself. My apologies.

Please see Zaf of testament that it can be done.

[Alstare1974]

Lol

That's ok. Thanks for caring.