Author Topic: How are you feeling today?  (Read 218233 times)

Lol

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1710 on: November 08, 2011, 08:11:11 PM »
Thanks my lovelies, I have said to them that I don't open up fully.


I'm not ready to even thing about the stuff that I don't talk about.

OK then. You know you can if you ever feel you can. We'll leave it with you.  Please keep thinking about it though. You are very important to us.

Lol

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1711 on: November 08, 2011, 08:25:46 PM »

[/quote]

I really could lol,  but its something I think I will have to learn to cope with, perhaps parcel up and keep very strictly in its place and not let it affect my other bits of life,  I used to be able to do that when working for other people so now I need to do it for myself.

I think Ive found a solution to the tea light problem,  you can buy electric burners (no tea light so I guess just an element under a ceramic base thing),  I have ordered one and will see how that works.   In the meantime I'm using the oil on  my wrists before I go to bed and sniff it when I need to,  so far I have slept slightly better and when  I have woken I have managed to get back to sleep which up till now I havent been able to,  not ideal but an improvement!
[/quote]

That sounds positive Zaf what a cool solution! Hope it works that would be so great!

Have you ever thought about going part time? You sound like you are able to take some hours off here and there for meditation which is excellent and I'm glad you are tending to your needs. But have you ever thought about making it official? Think about how it would feel to know that you could pretty much halve your hours! You will be amazed what simply 'gets done' in your absence. When people are absent people step up because they have to. I have been slacking a bit at work recently, because I couldn't give a toot actually! and I can't concentrate long enough to yawn, and nothing has exploded! Some paperwork rubbish might be a bit late, but no one gives a &$%+! On the other end they are so used to things being late that one goody twoshoes like me always making sure everything is on time is a pleasant surprise yes, but late is the norm so makes no difference if I join in actually! Never lived like this before, and it doesn't suit me and I don't intend it to last forever, but it's been a bit of an eye opener that one can just think 'sod it', and the world as I know it does not stop turning and we don't go under! the mental perspective of 'if I haven't got it done it can wait' is IMMENSE!! You MUST try it!

I INSIST you go part time!  :D I think the Butterfly would approve!  ;)

Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1712 on: November 08, 2011, 08:41:18 PM »


I really could lol,  but its something I think I will have to learn to cope with, perhaps parcel up and keep very strictly in its place and not let it affect my other bits of life,  I used to be able to do that when working for other people so now I need to do it for myself.

I think Ive found a solution to the tea light problem,  you can buy electric burners (no tea light so I guess just an element under a ceramic base thing),  I have ordered one and will see how that works.   In the meantime I'm using the oil on  my wrists before I go to bed and sniff it when I need to,  so far I have slept slightly better and when  I have woken I have managed to get back to sleep which up till now I havent been able to,  not ideal but an improvement!
[/quote]

That sounds positive Zaf what a cool solution! Hope it works that would be so great!

Have you ever thought about going part time? You sound like you are able to take some hours off here and there for meditation which is excellent and I'm glad you are tending to your needs. But have you ever thought about making it official? Think about how it would feel to know that you could pretty much halve your hours! You will be amazed what simply 'gets done' in your absence. When people are absent people step up because they have to. I have been slacking a bit at work recently, because I couldn't give a toot actually! and I can't concentrate long enough to yawn, and nothing has exploded! Some paperwork rubbish might be a bit late, but no one gives a &$%+! On the other end they are so used to things being late that one goody twoshoes like me always making sure everything is on time is a pleasant surprise yes, but late is the norm so makes no difference if I join in actually! Never lived like this before, and it doesn't suit me and I don't intend it to last forever, but it's been a bit of an eye opener that one can just think 'sod it', and the world as I know it does not stop turning and we don't go under! the mental perspective of 'if I haven't got it done it can wait' is IMMENSE!! You MUST try it!

I INSIST you go part time!  :D I think the Butterfly would approve!  ;)
[/quote]

I tried going part time about 14 months ago, got someone part time in the office etc but she was an absolute disaster and I ended up working all hours to put things right once we discovered she had made a total mess of things and covered it all up - so of course I went back to working longer than full time in the end :(

Other attempts at getting other people to do things have been a similar disaster,  gave someone the job of sorting out the CHAS renewal form a month ago,  checked last week how it was going to find he had been 'too busy' and now the deadline is looming I'll have to sort it myself as its a very important accreditation.

I have every determination to officially have every afternoon off but need to find a way of easily checking up that things have been done or are being progressed satisfactorily - the amount of paperwork and H&S stuff these days is enough to drown a small business, for instance for an insurance company survey on a boiler (sort of like a MOT for boilers) we have to submit two method statements (4 pages x 2), various standard risk assessments (usually around 6-8 pages), signature forms, an on-site risk assessment - someone was supposed to be in charge of making sure every job had its attendent paperwork, it worked well for a little while then the system collapsed - I know I cant do everything myself but some sort of system is definitely needed to make sure things that need to be done are done.....any suggestions very welcome!

the butterfly will emerge, even if I have to jump out of that aircraft without a parachute sometime in the not too distant future!
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1713 on: November 08, 2011, 08:42:10 PM »
is something going wrong with the quote thingys or am I just being useless with them?!
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1714 on: November 08, 2011, 08:44:35 PM »
Zaf that sounds like a very positive and productive afternoon - dinner sounds yummy too! xx

I was quite pleased with dinner,  I sort of improvised a bit, it smelled lovely and tasted pretty good too :)

I'm determined that I'm going to get more time off so I can cook a bit more and go back to making my own cordial and things like thatI just need to sort out some way of making sure everyone does their jobs properly while I'm not there!
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

Alstare1974

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1715 on: November 08, 2011, 09:04:14 PM »
is something going wrong with the quote thingys or am I just being useless with them?!

I think it's just that you're both trying to get rid of initial quotes and leaving the wrong code in place. The frost one should be quote inside [] and the last one should be /quote. The / means stop quoting.

Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1716 on: November 08, 2011, 09:30:25 PM »
Me being useless then ;)

How are you today Alstare?
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

Alstare1974

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1717 on: November 08, 2011, 09:32:37 PM »
Had a bit of an emotional break down for no reason last night. Well ok there was a reason but it kind of came out of the blue.

I'm really struggling to see ways forward at the minute and wondering if there is a future for me. I've also become insular and quite selfish. I'm struggling to help other people on here at the moment or to be able to see further than my own problems.

I've got most of the big problems out of tge way with house move and divorce just got the police thing left and it scares the hell out of me. It really could ruin my life and I'm struggling to cope with it all. I'm not exactly suicidal anymore but I do wish I didn't exist.

Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1718 on: November 08, 2011, 09:41:44 PM »
It can be quite disconcerting when that happens, in my experience its not unusual for that to hapen :(

Dont look at it as selfish, but that you are taking care of yourself, giving your health priority which you need to do for a while.  The best help you can give any of us at the moment is to start feeling better, every time I read that someone here is feeling less awful I smile inwardly and it gives me a little boost :)

Have you long to wait for the police thing?
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

Alstare1974

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1719 on: November 08, 2011, 09:44:36 PM »
Dunno really. I've been waiting since June.

Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1720 on: November 08, 2011, 09:48:40 PM »
Thats a long while to have something like that on your mind :(

Whatever the outcome it will be better when thats all over and done with
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

cornish

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1721 on: November 08, 2011, 10:09:20 PM »
today started off with me feeling anxious and irritible,  that is a direct consequence of having to do something at work that I knew would be stressful.  I was strong enough to leave only 20 minutes after the time I had decided to even though there were still some important things to do (triumph!)

I then felt weird once at home as I was wondering what I was going to do with 3 hours, so I did some cross stitch and Ive prepared a quinoa pilaf for my dinner tonight,  got OH's dinner partly prepared (we dont eat the same as I'm virtually vegan and he's a carnivore - or I suppose more accurately an omnivore!), for the first time for many months I actually did some yoga practice and started on trying to remember the tai chi short form and Ive just completed the Tesco order for Saturday.

I shall go out and feed the horses shortly and then come in to sit in meditation - I feel calm this afternoon and pleased Ive done things for me for a change :)

hopefully this positiveness will last.....




mmm quinoa......... recipe section on the forums ??
although i wouldn't add much at the moment as im not really eating anything :(
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

smirfy21

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1722 on: November 09, 2011, 05:31:44 AM »
yet another sleepless night, my mind is in a bit of a spin and I have been reading bipolar blogs and watching stephen fry's manic depression documentary which is very interesting and has put things into perspective for me.
feeling kind of emotionally overwhelmed, Self Harm has been on my mind a lot over the past couple of days but I have managed to resist the urge.
 "£$ smirfy

smirfy21

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1723 on: November 09, 2011, 07:59:45 AM »
I have lost my phone and really need an urgent doctors appointment today because I feel like im on the edge of a nervous break down so I am going to walk over to the uni medical centre and ask to see someone, I don't even know if they will give me an appointment, the website says I need to ring in advance but to be honest if I don't get an appointment today who knows what state I could be in and I cannot ring them because I don't know what I did with my stupid phone.

Oh god they are going to think I am completely freekin insane, a complete head case, just what they need first thing in the morning  $%^ I reallllly hope they give me an appointment today.
smirfy


Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #1724 on: November 09, 2011, 08:31:35 AM »
today started off with me feeling anxious and irritible,  that is a direct consequence of having to do something at work that I knew would be stressful.  I was strong enough to leave only 20 minutes after the time I had decided to even though there were still some important things to do (triumph!)

I then felt weird once at home as I was wondering what I was going to do with 3 hours, so I did some cross stitch and Ive prepared a quinoa pilaf for my dinner tonight,  got OH's dinner partly prepared (we dont eat the same as I'm virtually vegan and he's a carnivore - or I suppose more accurately an omnivore!), for the first time for many months I actually did some yoga practice and started on trying to remember the tai chi short form and Ive just completed the Tesco order for Saturday.

I shall go out and feed the horses shortly and then come in to sit in meditation - I feel calm this afternoon and pleased Ive done things for me for a change :)

hopefully this positiveness will last.....




mmm quinoa......... recipe section on the forums ??
although i wouldn't add much at the moment as im not really eating anything :(

Thats a brilliant idea,  I'l pm Ezel, thanks cornish :)
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.