How are you feeling today?

[Got]

Lol, could it actually be that she wants something else now, that she has decided she wants a change. She was warm and loving and kind for as long as she wanted that love, but not she has changed her mind and hence her behaviour?

It sounds bitter and cynical, and it is definatly very hurtful, but I beleive in the case of my long terms ex, this was the case. She was nice to me as long as the relationship was convinient, when she decided it wasnt what she wanted, she quickly became cold and heartless....and its been difficult for me to forgive her.

[Lol]

Well no I can't imagine that could be it because of how SO in love we were and the fact that all the feelings started to diminish in coincidence with her escalating depression. If she did not have depression then I could entertain that, I would surely then have seen the symptoms of falling out of love, and had some semi rational conversations about wanting different things etc and there being some evidence of this, but with this, everything went from loving each other, demonstrating deep love and understanding with each other, sharing joy and happiness together, to panic attacks, increasing in frequency, anxiety related stress, panic and depression, feeling of 'drifting', feelings of having lost herself, feelings of numbness, to the conclusion that a numb and feelingless state equals not being in love with the love of your life any more and they deserve better and could be finding some one else.

That just doesn't seem like a normal break up situation to me...

[Got]

It is odd...its the same scenario I was in exactly. She became stressed, depressed, unhappy, and showed me nothing but utter love, then it was gone. She wouldnt talk properly, when I asked I was given answers like 'I dont want to talk about it' at the most I got, 'I will always love you' and that she 'was happy'

To this day it is very difficult to make sense off.

Are you still holding onto her or are you trying to let go? Or are you not sure. I'd never be arrogant enough in this respect to say what you should do...its a horrible situation you are in and I am lost for clues as to what you need to do.

[Leese]

I am starting to feel a bit more positive. Whenever I have been feeling low or anxious this week I have been writing it down and it has helped me to put things into perspective. :)

[Lol]

Pete Hello, it would be great to hear how you're getting on, been worried about you. Even if it's just a short post please say Hi if you can. Hope you're doing ok and your meds are kicking in and helping you.  :)

[Zaf]

I am starting to feel a bit more positive. Whenever I have been feeling low or anxious this week I have been writing it down and it has helped me to put things into perspective. :)

Thats great to hear Leese :)

[Zaf]

I can fully understand you need to know why lol, I hope you can get an answer xx

[Alstare1974]

Feel like I'm getting worse not better thanks to all the recent trauma. Feel more upset than ever and regularly breakdown at night. Also feel so lacking in energy or willpower. Can't be bothered to do anything but sleep. I just don't know what to do with myself.

[Got]

Sorry your feeling so bad mate. Its an awful feeling. Have you got any friends around?

[Alstare1974]

Not now I've moved in with my folks. Nearest friends are 60 miles away.

[Munchroom]

Incredibly anxious about tomorrow. I have to go down to work first thing to sign up for a medication course and then Im working the night shift  Not looking forward to any of it.... 

[Got]

Alstare - are your folks supportive, or do you still feel alone?

Munchroom - medication = meditation?

[Alstare1974]

To be fir to them they are great but I miss being part of a couple, think that's why I feel lonely.

[Munchroom]

Thanks Munchroom this makes sense, again! Thank you! She did say I was the one for her and she wouldn't want another relationship, just to 'die a spinster with a dog' lovely! and she has said she feels so guilty and has said 'I can't be what you want me to be' which I never understood either because she IS what I want her to be?!?!?!?!?! Did you actually finish with your other half at the time? how long did you wear the Tshirt for? and how did it ever get any better?

I didn't finish with him, no.... In all honesty, I don't think I had the stregnth to. It would have been easier in my mind to have a much more final end to things and a complete escape! But all in, It was a good 6 months of last year, I was just pushing him further and further away   I don't know how he puts up with me normally, never-mind when I was at my worst!
The best thing Chris did was to take me away - only for four days - but last december he booked us a holiday to Poland. It was just the two of us and we just talked and we were away from everything and everyone. It made me realise *just* how supportive he had become (when I was first ill, he buried his head in the sand a little bit) When we got back, things were still rocky, it still seems now on some days, easier to push him away then allow him, or anyone, to get close. But I think that was the turning point for us...

I'm not saying if you had done anything differently, or taken her away, then things would have been any diferent at all for you Lol. Every relationship is different and some things simply cannot be fixed. I am so sorry you have to go through all of this, its must be so unbearably awful   I've been thinking of you a lot today, just wish there was more I could do to help xxxx

[Munchroom]

Munchroom - medication = meditation?

I'm sorry, I dont understand....