How are you feeling today?

[Got]

How long do you stay up before you go down again?

[Bewildered]

Today I feel angry. I lie awake not able to sleep and he rolls over and falls asleep right away as if he doesn't have a crae in the world and as I watch him sleep half of me is crying in pain that I cannot reach him and the other half just wants to smash his head in.

[Got]

I'm sorry your having a bad day. Im also on the edge of depression, trying to ward it of

[Zaf]

After a bit of a grotty start I'm now strangely calm and verging on happy this afternoon for some reason despite missing my afternoon meditation due to my damned IBS giving me hell again.

[smirfy21]

thats good Zaf I am really pleased for you
smirfy

[Zaf]

Thanks smirfy :)

[Got]

Thats good news Zaf.

I haven't got much work done today, but I have had some ideas for a paper I am going to write, so I will accept that as a progression.

I did become a bit depressed and the negative thoughts started up. So I meditated for a while, not sure for how long, and it really helped. It calmed me greatly, and gave me a sensation of inner peace...not complete peace, but hopefully one day I will find that. It has also allowed me to feel more positive about my work and future. I am very glad I am managing to fight of the negativeness.

[Zaf]

that sounds very positive Stevie and I'm so pleased that the meditation is starting to work for you :)

[smirfy21]

I just want the crying to stop, I want my energy back and I want to feel good about life.
smirfy

[Zaf]

Is there anything we can do to help?  &*(

[Alstare1974]

Had a court appearance today for my divorce hearing. On a positive we surprisingly came to an agreement as to the way to separate. On the down side it's taken a lot out of me and feel quite down. I also don't really want to be divorced but ho hum.

[Lol]

Alstare how did it go in divorce court today? That must have been the last thing you needed! Did you have to see your ex? I hope you have found some strength to deal with it from somewhere, I have been thinking of you.

Hi everyone. Zaf, I'm pleased to see you have been feeling a bit more positive today? Hope your IBS calms itself soon!!!

I am in such an awful pickle I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't know whether to sit or stand, sleep or wake, cry or stare. Sometimes I just do everything. I feel like I can't even lift my head up properly. I am obviously some kind of horrible horrible abuser or something that she feels liberated to be without. I must have been being so incredibly opressive and torturous all this time and she didn't have the strength to tell me because I had abused her into a state of inferiority and silence. I must need locking up.

[Alstare1974]

I doubt that it was you lol. You seem to be such a wonderful person.

As for court, yes I had to see my ex and it was horrible. She mostly ignored me.

[Zaf]

lol, your mind is in turmoil, no way could you be  horrible abuser - all your friends were shocked that your girlfriend left, dont you think that their shock tells you something about yourself that certainly doesnt say to me that you are some sort of ogre.

I think something changed at he weekend when I made myself go for that walk, hopefully I wont slide back - I'll be doing everythingI can to maintain the newfound feelings :) I shall have to go on lentils and rice for a few days, my IBS is food related but cant think for the life of me whats started it off this time as I've been eating sensibly for the last few days, perhaps I should go back to junk food

Alstare, you've had a difficult and probably emotional day, its no wonder you feel grim   is today the last of the unpleasant things you have to get through?

[Alstare1974]

Zaf

Unfortunately not. I have the police prosecution to deal with which could be a good few months yet but that's the last thing.

I keep getting upset for no reason and crying a lot. I am so fed up with everything. I think I'm getting worse.