How are you feeling today?

[Lol]

Pete this is excellent. I'm glad you opened up even if it came out a little defensive/aggressive. It was important that you showed your Dr how much this is affecting you. They are used to outbursts don't worry. Please take your meds at exactly the dose prescribed until directed otherwise without fail, and keep a mood diary to take with you next time so you don't feel you are having to remember things to say and in what order so much in a frought ten minute slot. I'm not impressed that your Dr tossed your written information aside, that was very dismissive. Perhaps he was pushed for time and wanted to focus on you and will read it later when he can concentrate on it but he went about that the wrong way at a time you really needed him to get it right.

I think you did very well at getting through that in the best way you could. Well done

[Lol]

I have just taken a black bin liner and poured all of my (ex) partner's bit and bobs from her bed-side table into it (she was a mucky pup). I have cleaned it and replaced it with some neutral items then ran out of the room at speed. I have gone back in once and daren't look at it (took a quick sneaky peek and it felt very strange). I feel so sad about the whole situation. I have found that if I keep the mind-set - right that's it then done,.. I can muster up some strength to look into the future. But if I allow myself to think about it I can't help but see the severity of the situation and want her back. I know I can't have her back and I have made the decision to leave her as much as she's left me. But I loath this feeling. I never thought I would have to go through it again. Finally found the one. And here I am again.

I don't want to start all over again with someone!! Yet I crave companionship and love looking after someone special. I need to love some one and be loved. I need love in my life. I can't imagine loving anyone but her! I'm already lonely. This is not the forum for this soppy &$%+ is it? I should perhaps join a 'coping with loss' forum? I feel like I've found such friendship and support here that I don't want to leave but I guess I'm an intruder now that I'm not dealing with depression any more. (although I might be next!!).

I feel I shouldn't bang on about it now. You have all been so wonderful. Thank you so much.

Lol xx

[Zaf]

Lol, you are a wonderful caring person and, although at the moment you are naturally mourning the loss of someone you love very much, you will find happiness again.  Life can be so desperately cruel at times and it seems to me that its so often the really lovely people that are the ones that get hurt.

This exactly the forum to be a soppy &$%+ and I very much hope you will stay to get support from us and continue to give us your wonderful advice and support.

Zaf xx

[Lol]

Thank you Zaf I think I've come over all insecure. What a numpty. Thank you.

[Zaf]

You've been on an emotional roller coaster recently lol xxx

[Alstare1974]

Lol

You're more than welcome here.

[cornish]

Cornish - You bit your knuckle OFF?! Do you have rat teeth???    Pm me if you need to...

yes, i swapped mine for a set of rat ones   human flesh isnt actually that hard to bite though, when im anxious i chew my knuckles/ fingers and have bitten a bit hard once or twice 

[Depina]

Hi Lol
Your support, help and advice is so encouraging to us.
You are doing very well, coping the way you are.
Thanks Lol  &*(
XXXXXXXX

[smirfy21]

feeling down today as my weight has crepped back up to thirteen stone, I have some sagging skin which is making me feel incredibly unatractive and I am to scared to ask for surgery as I know that he will tell me to exercise and eat less but this skin isn't going to spring back into place with exercise it needs removing.

I know that the weight gain is due to the meds I am currently on and that all I can do is exercise and eat a healthy diet but with my bulimia clinics I am learning healthy choices and Im not eating crap and I exercise three times a week. I am so confused as to why I am gaining weight and not losing any.

this belly overhang, and sagging skin is really getting to me tonight and im feeling really low. Mum has agreed to do weight watchers with me and see if I can do six months of weight loss. If there is no change we are going to talk to my GP and find out about other options but for now I need to just do it the natural way.

sorry I know it seems like Im back to complaining I have actualy had quite a possitive few weeks but this weight gain has triggered a very negative emotion in me today. mum has been brilliant and I am glad she has agreed to join me with my weight loss, I need to talk to my GP about keeping my bulimia under control whilst dieting and making sure it doesn't get out of hand again.

sorry rant over
smirfy

[danbob]

had a few down days recently but woke up feeling great today :) i even played for my local pool team for the first time in 9 months...

... today things are lookin up ..... its tomorrow i dread

my moods change so often from being extremely happy and hyper to incredible low

the lach of medication is starting to tell now..... i cant wait for my therapy

[Zaf]

Smirfy,  you dont ever have to apologise for having a rant or feeling down we all do it and we all need other people to respond in some way,  I think your plan is a good one and it shows you are actually feeling positive enough to make a plan!

when does your therapy start danbob?



I'm just incredibly tired,  I wish I could get the sleep problems sorted which I'm sure would help enormously

[Lol]

I am so exhausted. I could cry a river and stay in bed forever.

[Pete]

Today I start taking 60mg citralopram for the first time. Too be honest im hoping they make me feel better because so far apart from the drastic increase in my bad attitude and the rest of the negative things I dont think the pills have made any difference. I have had a few good spells but I always do. The depression side has got deeper and the happy side happier maybe a sort of exaggeration of my moods is the change i would say. The fact that I find myself on the max dose fills me with dread at coming off them due to withdrawls and disappointment that i have sunk so low in life i need these stupid things just to try and be the person I should be. Today I ask myself why? Why do i need these damn pills, why must i be such a burden to my family, why have i managed to push my friends away, why me, why cant life just be simple, i dont ask for much i never have so why must i suffer and cause suffering?

Life......whats it all about? Whats the real point to it all?

I sit and think looking, hoping, longing for a valid answer to the mixing pot I find myself in

[danbob]

Smirfy,  you dont ever have to apologise for having a rant or feeling down we all do it and we all need other people to respond in some way,  I think your plan is a good one and it shows you are actually feeling positive enough to make a plan!

when does your therapy start danbob?



I'm just incredibly tired,  I wish I could get the sleep problems sorted which I'm sure would help enormously

whenever my referral comes through i was referred 3 weeks ago and havent heard anythin yet..... i have no more withdrawal.... i forgot that i started medication in the first place because i feel like this

***EDIT***

just got a letter through from the government now saying that i am fit to work.... they have stopped my benefits.... what the f**k am i gonna do now

[Lol]

Today I start taking 60mg citralopram for the first time. Too be honest im hoping they make me feel better because so far apart from the drastic increase in my bad attitude and the rest of the negative things I dont think the pills have made any difference. I have had a few good spells but I always do. The depression side has got deeper and the happy side happier maybe a sort of exaggeration of my moods is the change i would say. The fact that I find myself on the max dose fills me with dread at coming off them due to withdrawls and disappointment that i have sunk so low in life i need these stupid things just to try and be the person I should be. Today I ask myself why? Why do i need these damn pills, why must i be such a burden to my family, why have i managed to push my friends away, why me, why cant life just be simple, i dont ask for much i never have so why must i suffer and cause suffering?

Life......whats it all about? Whats the real point to it all?

I sit and think looking, hoping, longing for a valid answer to the mixing pot I find myself in

Hi Pete, I'm sorry you are feeling like this today. I'm glad your dose has been increased, this could be a very positive step and the beginning of feeling an improvement on a more regular basis. I think the questions you are asking today about what is the point are very valid and I wonder if you once new what the point was? Can you remember a time in your life previously when you felt that everything had purpose and point? what was happening then? how did that feel?