How are you feeling today?

[caring angel]

That's not fair Zaf because you don't even know who did that.  Whoever you are, that comment was unjustified and cruel because all Zaf has done is offer his support and advice to people on this forum.  From what i've read in his posts he has been a valuable lifeline to a lot of people and we should be privilaged that he gives his time and energy to help us all.  

[Zaf]

Yep, I dont think you're supposed to vote for youself    xxx

[Depina]

Well said
Zaf spends ages on here, and others, too many to name, to help people.
We are fortunate that people on here do care
Thanks all
XXXXXXX
Lets support each other.  />.
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[Zaf]

Wow, I find it really great that people here answer quickly and really seem to care - I've had quite a different experience with similar forums

As regards my depressive episodes, it's kind of complicated. Actually, I'm in some way depressed all the time, I've got the feeling that something is not "flowing" right in my brain, not feeling right. I guess one therapist I once had said this was called "dysthymia" or something like that. However, I still do feel there are different phases, if I wanted to be cynical I might call them bad phases and worse phases During the worse ones I'm really unable to find pleasure in anything, even things I normally enjoy, it's like I was a bottle with a lot of holes in it - you can fill in what you want, the bottle remains empty eventually. During these phases, I'm tired all the time, have no impetus whatsoever and am just really terrible actually - and I don't really know what helps, except waiting for them to pass. They vary in length, from a few days to few weeks.

At the moment, however, the situation is different again:I seem to cycle really rapidly between moods, including some anxiety and panic (if it gets too bad, I can take my emergency medication, lorazepam, but I try not to take it too often). So this is somehow a bit strange, and may be associated with the loads of strain and pressure I've been under for quite some time now. Hope it will get better bit by bit, and yes, I should meet the doctor - I called a practice earlier this afternoon and they said I could drop by. At the time when I had mustered up my courage however the weather situation looked like this (actually even a lot worse):  "£"  and not much improvement up to now..

I totally agree with your last sentenvce, this balance is quite hard to find. Sometimes tasks just overtax you and send you spiralling downwards, sometimes they can be some kind of ladder..

its a great forum, it was a lifeline earlier this year when I had a mini breakdown.


I think most of us would recognise those symptoms as being pretty classical for clinical depression, can I ask if you take any anti depressants regularly?

Dont let the rain put you off going to the surgery, its really important to get registered asap

I've just got to nip out and take the dogs for a run before it gets dark but will answer properly when I get back :)

[Zaf]

Dont worry about it too much jackie and Depina, its just I know it really does upset some of our members and it would be horrible if someone thought they couldnt post for fear of being smited


Ps jackie I'm a she, not a he!  

[caring angel]

Sorry Zaf thought you were a he not a she.  As long as your alright that's all that matters, take care 

[Zaf]

No problem, its a very anonymous name :)

I'm fine thanks but it does concern me that someone feeling fragile might get upset if they are smited

[Zaf]

BladeRunner,


As I understand dysthymia its a sort of chronic low grade clinical depression (please someone correct me if I'm wrong) but from your description it seems to me your depression is worsening or changing and it would be a good idea to see a GP who might possibly alter or change your medication if its felt necessary.  Counselling in conjunction with rest and medication is often a good idea.  Your description of a bottle with holes in it isnt one I've heard before but it really does describe the feeling perfectly.

The horrible tiredness is a very common symptom as well as no interest in things you would normally enjoy, as is feeling guilty that you cant do all the things you feel you ought to do.

In my case stress does definitely bring on depressive episodes so it ay be the same with you.

You might find his little book some help, Depressive Illness - The Curse of The Strong, (yes lol I definitely think its time I started asking for commission on its sales!), I found it very helpful and I think several others have too, there is a web page with extracts from the book too you might want to take a look at

[BladeRunner]

Youre right, the symptoms are really classic ones. I also got some others about which I will maybe write another day - for now, however, these ones are the most intense, although changes are a bit more rapid now, and I'm not too bad at the moment :) So I've even managed to register with the GP just now, but before the first appointment with this doctor I still got one back in "the old country" with my old doctor. I'm taking Elontril at the moment, and before that I took Citalopram (no effect whatsoever - except for some side effects), Venlafaxin (helped a bit against some compulsory "pondering" I always have) and Valdoxan (no effect except for nausea). Just realized that these are the German brand names which you likely won't recognise, I'll research the active ingredients some time later, so you know what I'm talking about

[Zaf]

I'm not sure if I'm right thinking this or not but I think sometimes the effect of one medication wears off after a while and its necessary to change the type, I was on prozac for many years then it stopped working for no obvious reason, I've heard other people say the same, once my medication was changed and he dose tweaked a bit I found it was working OK again.

Its a good first step registering with a GP here, presumably you can tell your other doctor you will need records sent here or a letter to take to your GP when you get an appointment in his country?

[BladeRunner]

That can definitely happen! But as I have just changed medication, I'm still waiting for this one to work, the dose will also be increased soon. If it does not work, I may try another one. Well, actually I hope now that all the other stuff I'm planning at the moment will work out just fine, including my new job, but I've still got some time to relax before, which I really need - haven't had any time off for quite some while, so I now "only" need to be able to enjoy it and still get things done

Thanks very much for your support! :)

[caring angel]

 In some people, a particular antidepressant may simply stop working over time. Doctors don't fully understand what causes the so-called "poop-out" effect, or why it occurs in some people and not in others. In most cases, depression symptoms get better with adjustments to medication. Your doctor may recommend that you change the dose of your current antidepressant, change to another antidepressant or add another antidepressant or other type of medication to your existing treatment. Psychological counseling may also help.

[Zaf]

It does take a bit of time for new medication to work and the right dose to be sorted out, I hope it doesnt take too long for you, I definitely think some rest and relaxation would be a good idea if you can manage it

I hadn't heard the expression 'pooped out' in relation to the effects of medication fading Jackie, its very appropriate though!

[Lol]

Alstare how did it go today??  :)

[Alstare1974]

Hey lol

Thanks for remembering.

Was pretty tough and didn't feel comfy. Not sure how well am gonna cope or if I'll manage to keep going. Guess time will tell.