How are you feeling today?

[Munchroom]

And now in hindsight of the above post I feel very.... like my problems aren't as 'real' as some of yours  I don't have problems in my relationship generally, I've had no massive event happen in my life to cause this depression.... I just feel like I'm whinging on and like I should just 'pull myself together'

My depression was caused by just... having too much going on and feeling as though I couldnt cope and yet still forcing myself to cope and keep everyone else happy at the same time. But that was over a year ago!! Surely I should just be taking a deep breath and saying 'Right! I have nothing to be sad about - I have a home, friends, a wonderful boyfriend!! START LIVING AGAIN!!'  But I always feel like there is something holding me back... why can I not go outside on my own, why am I finding it so scary?? Is it just simply because I have just programmed myself into this way of thinking because its 'easier' to stay in my nice little house and do things that I generally like??  I don't know...

I'm sorry if some of my posts come across as self absorbed and I'm sure a lot of you that know about the whole Peter situation are probably thinking 'Just forget him - move on, stop torturing yourself over a guy that was obiously not good for you!!' (I'm sure its what Chris thinks and also my best friend (who is a girl this time!) )

[Lol]

Munchroom get a hold of yourself. You know that you are not just whinging and you know very well that you can not just 'pull yourself together' you daft nit. If you could would you mind sharing your technique for everyone else??!!!  Your depression may well have been caused by too much going on, but equally nothing may have caused it and the depression gave the impression that there was too much going on. What yer going on about?!?!?! 

You are not 'just SAD'! You have not consciously programmed yourself, you are not opting for the easy life and you are not self absorbed!!! You have every right to be in here and you help others tremendously. I can think of one chuppa chup sucking dude that's gonna give you such a pasting!

You are, as you well know, suffering from a chemical imbalance in your brain and it is altering your perception of the world around you affecting your mind, body and soul. Without the correct treatment it controls you, you can not control it. You can think yourself neither in nor out of it. You are currently having your medication adjusted and you are experiencing symptoms of withdrawl. This is currently very difficult and confusing for you and may temporarily alter your judgement and cause you to question things you have learned to cope with. Explore these but take them with a pinch of salt if they are negative.

Munchroom you are so valuable here. You have your problems just as everyone else does and you give back 3 times what you get. There is no need to be paranoid.  :)

[Angelina]

Munchroom get a hold of yourself. You know that you are not just whinging and you know very well that you can not just 'pull yourself together' you daft nit. If you could would you mind sharing your technique for everyone else??!!!  Your depression may well have been caused by too much going on, but equally nothing may have caused it and the depression gave the impression that there was too much going on. What yer going on about?!?!?! 

You are not 'just SAD'! You have not consciously programmed yourself, you are not opting for the easy life and you are not self absorbed!!! You have every right to be in here and you help others tremendously. I can think of one chuppa chup sucking dude that's gonna give you such a pasting!

You are, as you well know, suffering from a chemical imbalance in your brain and it is altering your perception of the world around you affecting your mind, body and soul. Without the correct treatment it controls you, you can not control it. You can think yourself neither in nor out of it. You are currently having your medication adjusted and you are experiencing symptoms of withdrawl. This is currently very difficult and confusing for you and may temporarily alter your judgement and cause you to question things you have learned to cope with. Explore these but take them with a pinch of salt if they are negative.

Munchroom you are so valuable here. You have your problems just as everyone else does and you give back 3 times what you get. There is no need to be paranoid.  :)

All of this, I can't say it better myself!!!!

Didn't get the share horse but I managed to drive my car, speak to new people and had a lovely ride. The other lady who had seen the horse knew people at the yard and has a job so I completely understand. Just means I start hunting for a horse share again. After a cry as anything makes me cry 

[Zaf]

Munchroom, I totally agree with lol and Angelina

Angelina, keep looking, something will turn up when the time is right :)

I'm feeling less tired today thank goodness despite waking at 3am and not being able to get back to sleep, I'm feeling rather pressured at work at the moment as there is just  SO much to do but I'm making myself take 2-3 hours off every afternoon to meditate and chill which I think is helping quite a lot.  I have a difficult email to write to my cousin sometime soon and I may well ask for advice in the near future on that one..

How is everyone else?

[Lol]

Hi Zaf it's a mercy you're not more tired waking up at 3! You never seem to get any rest at work do you? It sounds very stressful and I can relate to it. It is an awful fact that most of us spend most of our lives at work and it is all consumingly stressful when the prospect of it is always a negative one. You do so well by the business and should be very proud of yourself. I think giving yourself that time off during the day is a fantastic idea which must bring some relief.

[Zaf]

Its been particularly busy at the moment lol, we can barely keep up despite taking on some temporary help from an agency, I keep telling myself that it will ease up soon but so far it hasnt.

I'm not sure about feeling proud but I am determined to do my best for the business despite not liking the job but at the same time I am not going to let it dominate my life, I am also determined that I will get my afternoons off unless there is a total crisis.  I know most of my problems are trying to do too much and I've decided one of the charities I work for will have to find someone else next year, I've got a lovely lady coming in 3 hours a week to do my housework (I really struggled with the guilt factor on that one) and now Maxie as gone there will be less work with the horses.  I'm also doing my best not to volunteer to do things for people unless I really can manage to sare the time.

I dont think I would have achieved even half as much without the help and encouragement from everyone here and one of the other forums I frequent, and I am painfully aware I will probably slip back a few times before I am better but I know I can do it and damned well will!

[Lol]

That's excelent Zaf you have such vision

[Zaf]

I've had a lot of help this time round lol, I wish I had known about yhis place years ago, I also ad a brilliant counsellor too who helped immensely

[Munchroom]

Thankyou Lol - today has been horrendous... such a rollercoaster and to top it off, I have just heard a duck! (there are no ducks anywhere near and I swear, it couldn't have been more than 10ft away from me!) Could it be that I'm not hearing things aswell?!  I'm so up and down I feel like I'm going mad!! I have more Velafaxine, part of me is tempted to just carry on taking them....

[danbob]

Thankyou Lol - today has been horrendous... such a rollercoaster and to top it off, I have just heard a duck! (there are no ducks anywhere near and I swear, it couldn't have been more than 10ft away from me!) Could it be that I'm not hearing things aswell?!  I'm so up and down I feel like I'm going mad!! I have more Velafaxine, part of me is tempted to just carry on taking them....

i actually liked the hallucinations.... i was gutted when they stopped ha ha 

been 25 days since i last took venlafaxine..... feelin great to be honest... obviously im still gettin down and stuff but i mean i feel better within myself

they stopped me cold turkey from 300mg twice a day because i tried to overdose but now im off them i feel so much better, sometimes tablets can make things worse

[Lol]

This is so distressing for you Munchroom! You feel so disorientated and confused. You have been coping so well and to have these symptoms now is so disappointing! I understand you feel nervous to have heard a duck. If it was only once it is likely to simply be something else; once my sister went around the entire house thinking she could hear a kitten mewing and it was her own blocked nose whistling! If it persists you know that it might be a symtom and it would be worth telling your GP about it tomorrow.

This is just a blip. A necessary transition. It will change and you will come through this. You're body is reacting. Things are waking up.  

[cornish]

oi munch your problems are real and lol said it perfectly

Thankyou Lol - today has been horrendous... such a rollercoaster and to top it off, I have just heard a duck! (there are no ducks anywhere near and I swear, it couldn't have been more than 10ft away from me!) Could it be that I'm not hearing things aswell?!  I'm so up and down I feel like I'm going mad!! I have more Velafaxine, part of me is tempted to just carry on taking them....

well i hear geese all the time, even when im inside the freezer

[Lol]

What are you doing inside a freezer mate?

[Munchroom]

I've read around some websites about venlafaxine withdrawal and my god its scary.... theres even a petition get venlafaxine banned and not used at all as a 'last resort' AD....

I think I'm going to carry on taking them, maybe on alternate days, untill I see my doctor again in a fortnight... (rural practices  )

[cornish]

What are you doing inside a freezer mate?

oh right yeah, i probably sounded a bit crazy then   
i spend a lot of time working in food factories and i do a bit of work on the freezers if i have to, i would love to do more on them as i love the cold but my talents are wasted on a mere freezer.