How are you feeling today?

[KateG]

Take care Zaf.

How did it go Smirfy?

[smirfy21]

Take care Zaf.

How did it go Smirfy?

Well it wasn't something I had planned to do, and its something I have always known about myself that I am Bisexual and I have never really had that much of a problem with it, my family were having a discussion about identity and I just blurted it out I didn't even think about it. the conversation went on and nothing was really said so I don't really know how I have left things.

how are you Kate?
smirfy

[Sweetpea]

Good for you Smirfy, at least you have come out and said it, even if the conversation did carry on.

S x x x

[Zaf]

Sometimes spontenaity is the best way :)

Z xx

[smirfy21]

Good for you Smirfy, at least you have come out and said it, even if the conversation did carry on.

S x x x

thanks for the support and zaf yes I am in total agreemant that spontenaity is the best way, Most of my best work has been done in spontenaity so I guess that I am actaully quite a spontanious person now that I think about it so thanks for making me realise that  :)

I have just spent the day in the uni library and have just spent the past three hours taking notes and adding to my contextual knowledge which has all been really inspiring but I can feel myself reaching that point where you are so awake and open to inspiration and ideas that your practically bouncing off the walls, have you ever experianced these kind of episodes because my mind is racing and I feel really good but everyone keeps saying its a manic phase and Im not sure I would agree with that I just see it as a productive episode.

anyway back to it
smirfy

[Zaf]

Its great you're feeling inspired smirfy :)

Z xxx

[Ruth]

Congrats for coming out to your family Smirfy. I hope your positive week continues..

[Zaf]

Tired and yuk, decided to stay at home today

[Sweetpea]

 &*( &*( &*( for you Zaf.

S x x x x

[Zaf]

Thanks shaz

Z xxx

[smirfy21]

I am feeling pretty cruddy tonight, tired and tearful and quite frankly overwhelmed by being thrown back into family life as I am now back at home for the summer. don't get me wrong I love having my family around me but with everything that is going on already and trying to keep my recent Diagnosis of M.E private and keeping my Bipolar under control its all just a bit to much.

I know that I need to tell my family about the M.E but my doctors aren't even that sure as there doesn't seem to be a test that can tell for certain so how am I supposed to be sure about the diagnosis if they can't tell me for certain that is what's going on, I only seem to get the fatigue side of it and the research I have done says that M.E sufferers are crippled by it which I'm not.

I don't know maybe I am just over tired and over thinking things
smirfy

[Buttercup]

How's your Bipolar treated Smirfy? Are you having trouble keeping it under control?

Must be difficult being back at home, it's tricky to adjust anyway without everything else going on.

Xxx

[Zaf]

Keeping things private is a dreadful strain smirfy, I'm not surprised you feel bad.  I hope as you adjust you'll feel better

Z xx

[Sweetpea]

ME can affect people differently, not everyone is crippled by it.  My sister suffers and she just gets the fatigue.  I really feel for you having to keep things hidden from your family, it puts a big strain on us hiding things.

S x x

[pinkcasi]

I feel seriously sucky today, I was totally fine this morning got into work early, great stuff then out of no where just felt really anxious, had the chest tightness, the throat blocked thing and everything, i told my manager i couldn't go on the phones today as i just cant face the public, she's ok with that thank god.  Then just when i thought it was subsiding, my phone wont work and i freaked out, it sounds so pathetic writing it down but without my phone well i dont want to thik about it, it was freezing and i had to turn it off and on again to reboot, i did that earlier and now it wont turn on at all, now i have this terible pain in my shouldn't and jaw, it's really horrible, Oh it's all the anxiety i know and it does my head in! why cant i have a proper illness, one that can be cured, a nice broken leg or something, not something that half the people around me dont even think is real, something that i could actually tell my friends about without having half of them pity me for being a bit mental and the other half think im just attention seeking and that i should just pull myself together, 'it could be worse', 'i should think myself lucky' 'well your dad does have something to be depressed about' yeah yeah i know, apparently according to my sister I like being all 'Woe is me' perhaps she's right perhaps i bring all this on myself, I dont help myself do i, i just wallow, and pain from anxiety isn't real pain is it so no sympathy for me, and nor should i have any, i should be pulling myself together and getting on with it.

Oh im just ranting on ignore me, im just so over it now, i cant do it anymore!