How are you feeling today?

[smirfy21]

no one to talk to and im not takeing my meds properly, stopped my anti psychotics and im suffering for it but i had to stop them till sunday

Cornish I am worried for you, I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to and to be alone have you thought about a support group or getting in touch with either mind or your local mental health team? if you don't mind me asking why have you had to stop your meds until sunday? coming off your meds suddenly can be dangerous and it worries me.

I wish I new what to say or what to do but to be honest Im not even sure how to help myself at the moment and if I don't write this letter to explain my health to my uni things are only going to get worse. I don't know weather to be completely honest and tell them all about my health or just to only tell them what they need to hear.

Please keep posting and stay safe
smirfy

[Ezel]

cornish - I'm glad you're posting so we know how you're feeling.

I'm having a good day apart from a throbbing ankle but at least the swelling is going down gradually.

[doublep]

I'm in my own little world today.

Don't know what to think anymore.

[smirfy21]

have my assesment today and haven't slept all night, I have absolutally know idea how to get to my appointment due to the fact that the hospital I have to go to is  in a completely different town that I have never been to. I decided that instead of writing a letter to my university I would put it in an email to my tutor and I basically explained my bipolar disorder and stated that I am on the verge of a breakdown which I am now regretting saying because I don't know if it was the best thing to say or not. ahhhhhhhh this day is already turning out to be a nightmare
smirfy

[Glen53]

My thoughts are with you all today, as always.  &*(

Lol, I hope your panic attacks are easing a little and that today is a little kinder to you.

Smirfy, I think you will worry until you have a response, but from an outsiders point of view you have done all you can. I tend to overthink things and play out worse case senarios before they have even happened. When they do finally happen, they are seldom as bad as I thought they would be. I hope taoday is kinder to you.

Ezel, im glad your ankle is getting better. Plenty of rest and tea - tea fixes everything  :)

Doublep, sometimes being in our own little world is better than being in this one  I hope you can talk to us if you need to. I wish i could say something more supportive. 

Icelolly, im glad you got through the trip having gained another source of support. Your teacher sounds very supportive to you and I hope between them and your head of year you can gain some extra help. Let us know how things go.

Cornish, I hope you are alright. Again I dont have anything to say that will be helpful so I will simply say i will be thinking of you and hope you can find the strength to fight through these feelings.

And me? Im ok. A few heavy days approaching but I seem able to cope and take things in my stride of late.  :)   

[Sweetpea]

 &*( to you all today.

Hope everyone gets through the day ok.

I am ok today, wish the rain would stop though, want the sun to shine.

S x

[Zaf]

I hope the same :)

Today I guess is a 3,  I feel better at work than at home for a change, I think thats because our new lady is nice to work with and keeps my mind off things.  I hope things dont go downhill sharply once I get home again as I did yesterday

[Sweetpea]

Sun is shining now  :) makes me feel so much more positive.  Walking the dogs in a bit, they will be very muddy when we get back, so its a towel down and a dry off in the utility room for them.

I am glad you are finding your new assistant easy to work with Zaf.  I hope your mood stays up when you get home.

S x

[Rebel Ian]

Anybody else spend their time at work waiting to be "found out" when actually you are ok at what you do? I sometimes wonder whether to trade in the ok (not grand) lifestyle that a senior job gives me and sit on the checkout in Asda with no stress?  :-(

[Zaf]

I dont tend to worry about being found out as I run a small family business but I've often thought of packing it all in and working on the checkout at a local supermarket

[smirfy21]

well that was a complete and utter waste of time, I feel like I am just banging my head against a brick wall. so I had this assesment and the psychiatrist has basically turned around and said that he doesn't believe in bipolar disorder and that there is no such thing people like me are just sevearly depressed, he wasted two hours of my life to tell me that and put me back on fluoxetine which I am now immune too after taking if for so many years.
Should I seek another oppinion, what do I do?
I cannot believe I wated this long just to get that load of rubbish and to go full circle. I am soo mad I got home and literally felt like screaming.
smirfy

[doublep]

Smirfy, don't know if its possible but seeking a different appinion might be an idea.  They all have their own views.


Right now I'm sat thinking, I need to book an appointment to see the Dr. He made me promise to see him after 4 weeks, even though he gave me 8 weeks worth of tablets.

I'm slightly concerned at what he will think... I had a hellish 2 1/2 weeks but for the last week I have been alright.. I don't want him to think everything is going well, because I just think this is my body having a break and making me seem alright, ready for another meltdown over something.

On a plus, I'm off bodybuilding tonight :-/

[Munchroom]

Smirfy, thats a horrible outcome for you  &*( As Doublep says, getting a second opinion might be a good idea - I know its even more hassle but if all he's done is put you back onto Fluoxetine, which don't work for you, then you need to see a different pshyciatrist who will hopefully prescribe something different. How completley frustrating though - I am really starting to hate assesments, like you, I end up wondering if they have listened to a word I have said and yet it takes so much effort to get there and try and describe how you are feeling it hardly seems worth it. You do need to be on the right medication for you though so a second opinion would be worth it, in my opinion xx

Doublep I think most good doctors understand that there will be ups and down in depression. Everytime I walk into my doctors consulting room he seems like he's waiting with baited breath to see if I've been doing ok or not coping at all - it can vary so much within even a couple of weeks. Even if you went in there saying everything is great and you've never felt better he/she would probably still want to see you regularly, so I wouldn't worry what they think. I sometimes get scared when someone says to me that I'm looking well or 'much better' - its the fear that people will think 'Ah they're better - back to normal then!'  When really the thought of 'normality' and being well is terrifying, its just a mask we wear. If we were better, then we wouldn't be scared of that feeling.

I hope that makes sense! Good luck with the bodybuilding!

xx

[Got]

Smirfy...perhaps you should take your psychiatrist to visit to the local psychiactric ward, and speak to someone who is speaking at three hundred miles an hour, has eyes was wide as europe, and it crawl across the ceiling, and then try to get the psychiatrist to identify this persons depressive traits and claim that they are not manic.

If you psychatrist said this, seriously, what an utter fool.

[smirfy21]

thanks for the advice guys I will definetally be seeking another opinion, this guy is a complete ass and It didn't help that I could bairly understand a word he was saying as he had a very strong indian accent.

I cannot even begin to explain how angry I am.

Stevie I would love to take him to a psychiactric ward but the scary thing is I think he must work on psych wards which why I don't understand his reaction to bipolar disorder.

Doublep have fun at body building and make that appointment, don't put it off if it can help.

I am off to curl up in bed and not move for the next three days
smirfy