How are you feeling today?

[Zaf]

Go to your head of year and tell her exactly how badly you are struggling icelolly xx

[Zaf]

Zaf, you cant be strong all the time. You expend so much time helping others on the forum and now you are feeling a bit low yourself its time to step back and look after you. I hope you can find time to rest - nice bath, cuppa tea or hot squash and feet up   I will be thinking of you and hope tomorrow is kinder to you.

My thoughts are with you all. Take care.

Thanks Glen, I plan to go to bed as soon as David is in and had his dinner :)

[CharleysAngel']

I hope you are feeling better soon Zaf. I feel so bad going on about my own problems all the time when others are suffering just as much or even more than me xx

[Glen53]

Everyones problems are important on this forum, no matter how small. I kind of see us as a tag-team, helping each other through each day and its problems.

I agree with Zaf about talking to your head of year. IMO a large part of your struggles probably are not helped by the lack of support from those close to you. Not being able to tell them how you properly feel must be tough on its own bit its clearly taking its toll on you having to act from first thing in the morning in order to keep others in the dark.

Is there perhaps someone at school that you could speak to? A councilor or similar? I know one of our other members has mentioned support of this kind from their school.

[CharleysAngel']

Thanks Glen, they won't let me have a counsellor at school. Because my doctor diagnosed my depression all forms of medication and counselling must be arranged by her. I tried to explain to them that she hadn't diagnosed my depression but they can't do anything now as I am already under the doctor's care.

That's another thing that is bugging. My doctor said that she didn't want to label it as depression? I don't know if that means that how I am feeling is obviously not bad enough to be depression? That's what it seemed like. I know my doctor didn't mean it in a nasty way but that's just how I felt about it. I was kind of upset by it because I have never felt so horrible in all my life than what i have been feeling and now its almost like to others its not even bad? Does this make any sense?

[Zaf]

I think we often think our problems are small compared to others IceLolly but yours are every bit as important as anyone else's

I dont understand your doctor's attitude either,  if you can summon up the courage it might be worth asking her and tell her that its causing you problems getting support etc.  The only real solution would be to change your GP if you can but I realise that may be very difficult for you.

From your decription it seems like depression to me,  perhaps ask what else it could be if not depression next time you see your doctor too?

[doublep]

Icelolly, If the doctor doesnt want to label it as depression then what is the doctor saying it is?

I would pressure the doctor into listening to you.

It sounds like depression to me.

Hope you get sorted soon, it sounds very frustrating.



Today I feel rubbish, only at work from 6am-10.20am because I am off to my appointment with my thought diary in hand 
Then I'm getting paid for the rest of the day while at home(unofficial) .. so I suppose thats a plus

[Sweetpea]

Hi everyone,

All went ok at the hospital yesterday, got there at 7am.  I was a mess only had 3 hours sleep was so worried about it.   Asked to sit in the waiting room, told about 2 hours later they were waiting for a bed to be free.  I eventually got seen by a nurse that took my blood pressure and pulse etc and had my hospital tags put on.  Then back to waiting room, eventually 3 hours later I got a bed and asked to put my gown on.  Just getting into it when they came to take me to theatre.  All happened so quickly then had canula put in my hand then had anaesthetic put in then wheeled into theatre, I then had to get onto the other bed face down, by now I was starting to feel woozy, so that was fun.  Everyone from the theatre techs to the surgeon were lovely and made me feel very at ease. Once on the bed face down an oxygen mask was put over my face and then I was gone, out with the fairies.  Then I was in recovery room, again they were lovely did my obs etc.  Then taken back to the ward.  Felt very tired and woozy but apart from that I felt ok.  Had a drink of water and rested in bed.  Then the nurses came to see if I could stand, as there was local anaesthetic in the injections as well as the cortisone.  I was wobbly and felt a bit numb but with the help of the nurses I managed to walk to the loo.  An hour later I was allowed to go home, had to hang onto Craig as quite unsteady.  Just glad to be going home and for it to be over.

Just took it easy last night and Craig helped me upstairs when I went to bed.  It was lovely to get into bed and cuddle up.  Slept quite well.  This morning relieved its over.  Just have to wait and see if the injections give any relief now, I have to wait at least 6 weeks and if it is still painful, then I have to go to my gp and I will be fast tracked to see the specialist again and then they will decide their next move.

Hope everyone is having a reasonable day.

S x

[Zaf]

Apart from the wait to begin with it sounds very positive, lets hope it all works OK xx

[Sweetpea]

Not complaining it was just frustrating.  I know those people needed the beds.  Everyone was so lovely with me and makes me realise what a great job all the nurses and hospital staff do for us.

S x

[Zaf]

I found the same, the staff were always lovely but often seemed so very overworked sometimes

[woozywoo]

Thinkin of phoning in sick 2morrow. I have made it in 2day,but i am no use 2 anyone,managing 2 get through the day on auto pilot i think.

If i take day off 2morrow i can get k docs appt though i don't know what they will do or say 2 help. Also writing family this wknd so could go earlier in day. Feel guilty about planning it,but he i did any other job would take a days holiday . Cos continuing like this its just goin 2 keep goin downhill! What do you guys think?

[Zaf]

it sounds a good idea to see your doctor woozywoo and if you really cant face work to go off sick too xx

[Glen53]

Woozy,

I think things are still weighing heavily on your mind and these feelings will likely continue for the time being and time off might lift the stress a little for you. It sounds as if you know what needs to be said and done but its tough for you to go through it. The more time that goes by, the tougher things will likely be so my advice would be to try and have the chat you need as soon as you can face it.

I dont want you to think Im lecturing you on this - please dont. I have not got the slightest idea how tough this must be for you, but at present you are tearing yourself apart in worrying about what will happen. Until it has, you dont know what this will be and preparing for the fallout will be impossible.

We are here for you come what may.

[Glen53]

Icelolly, it sounds to me as if the doc doesnt want to diagnose you because of your age. The medical proffession see your age in life as a time that is full of change, both physically and emotionally. They dont tend to want to be drawn on a diagnosis unless its clear because life is stressful at your age.

It may be worth seeing the GP again if you can and explaining things are getting tougher for you. Explain that you feel unsupported at home and why, but that you would rather they were not informed due to the attitude they have shown. Perhaps suggest that you feel talking about things to a councilor would help but the school are reluctant due to the GPs treatment plan. Its likely that they are just trying to avoid a difficult diagnosis but dont realise that this action is depriving you of potential help through counciling.