How are you feeling today?

[Lol]

Thanks Zaf. I can't calm down. I feel really nervous and anxious. And angry. And frustrated.

[Zaf]

I wish I could help lol, but its possible you need to feel these emotions for a while then try to delliberately make them leave your system

do you have any techniques to try to feel less stressed and angry?  Breathing imaginary gas and air my counsellor often helps me - I have to imagine the mask thing as well and breath in the gas/air mixture (which in my case is a sort of light bubble gum pink but sort of shiny as well!) and breathe out all the nasty things when you exhale.

Ive other techniques if you think they may help, some do with me and some dont.

Perhaps you and the cat should share a beer or two and watch something absorbing on the box to take your mind off it?

[Lol]

that's an interesting technique Zaf thanks I'll try that! Better than punching a hole through a wall.

[Munchroom]

Feeling anger that you can't vent is such a horrible felling lol. Zafs idea of curling up with the cat, the tv and a beer or two sounds like a good plan to me! Or screaming into a pilow.... works well too!

Im feeling pretty much the same as yesterday.... I'm so scared that I'm wasting my life with this stupid depression. I'll post it all in my journal... I've got so much buzzing around my head at the moment.

xx
 

[Alstare1974]

Bored.com

[Zaf]

Hope everyone has a better day tomorrow, for some reason I feel a bit foggy so not up to contributing much,  I dont feel down,  just calm and sort of a bit detached,  possibly because Ive just woken up after about 3 hours sleep, with a bit of luck it wont mean I cant sleep tonight but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it....

[Glen53]

Zaf, I think that may be a good thing. Peace of any sort must be a welcome thing.

Munchroom, I have read your journal and posted there. I hope you feel better tomorrow.

Lol. I had to read the response from Zaf twice. I thought the suggestion was to curl up with the cat and SHARE the beer. Made me smile imagining the cat stumbling around the living room. I agree that anger may be something that needs to be worked out of the system though. i have found before that anger needs time to be worked free. Suppressing the feelings is no good as they will only resurface later and usually be twice as strong - that leads to bitterness. For me I used to go for a walk / run and work it out of my system that way, but Zafs suggestion of the imaginary gas sounds interesting.

[danbob]

feeling great, all the medication is fully out my system now, starting to lose weight and might be moving in 8days!!

all this goodness is lulling me into a false sense of security tho, i know my depression is just round the corner, had lots of "up" days recently not had a downer for a couple of weeks  !"!

[Zaf]

And why not share the beer with the cat ?! In moderation of course   horses love beer and we always used to give the mares some stout after they had foaled, an old fashioned thing, I guess it was for the vitimins but not 100% sure.

I used to run to get rid of anger too, or dig the muckheap furiously, as I've got older I need less physical ways of doing it 

Yes, I think peaceful is good Glen, I've just finished my meditation and feel very contented now too :)

danbob, hope you dont have a down as you fear but we all know thats how it goes sometimes

Munchroom, I know that feeling but as you conquer this horrible illness and look back I hope you will feel that the time you have used fighting this have made you stronger and more capable to go forward with the rest of your life xx

[Lol]

Thanks guys I talked it out with my mum who was as angry about it as I was and seeing and feeling her anger and amazement towards the situation sort of validated mine. Feel less pent up with anger now but sadness has replaced it. During my holiday (obviously  ) I thought I was feeling stronger and could get through this without ADs, as I had been feeling familiarly distant, foggy and numb which have been my deciding factors in previous depressions. The feelings returned and I can remember thinking week before last oh ho... I know that old chestnut. I decided to stick it out for the holiday and during it came out of those feelings much to my massive relief one morning riding a bike in the lovely fresh forest air. But (obviously  ) take these lovely, distracting, natural factors out of the equation and I'm starting to doubt. I don't feel distant and numb again but I just CAN NOT get over this. I CAN NOT get a grip!!! That is surely something to consider i think. I might make another appointment with my doc and explain that one. He is at the point where he is offering ADs but not actively encouraging them. He does want to keep an eye on me though.

Sorry, don't know what made me tell you all of that waffle.

Glen53 it's a bit of a joke on here that I've always got a beer on because my cat needs a drinking partner  I am now with cat and beer and TV - Thanks Zaf and Munchroom. And thanks Munchroom for always knowing what I mean.

[Zaf]

Good you can get the 'waffle' out lol and certainly no need to apologise at all, it sounds like an appointment to see your GP might be a good idea if you are getting a few warning signs you might be edging closer to depression.

xx

[Zaf]

Started out feeling really good and positive,  my new plan of action is if the weather is nice to do a few extra horsey chores each morning before coming in to the office rather than getting in here around 7ish,  Ive been in about 3/4 hour and can feel my enthusiasm dipping away but I shall make myself go at lunchtime unless there is a major crisis, have that nice smelly bath and get changed.  Ive arranged with David that unless he has problems on-site this afternoon he will feed the horses for me and Ive got all their food and hay ready for him so I wont have to either come out in totally inappropriate clothing or get changed which will probably spoil my (hopefully) good mood.

Thinking of everyone and wishing you all a better day today xx

[Zaf]

Despite having the 'I dont want to be here' feelings in the office Ive not been too bad but the firm that wanted a huge breakdown of costs and hours worked want it broken down even further, I really want to scream but am trying to stay calm and as soon as Ive finished the petty cash I'm off home!

Nice hot smelly bath and floaty clothes coming up....

[cornish]

not sure how to explain how i feel, its like the numb nothingness feeling but also the low feeling just creeping in,   some one at work and my gp said i "look" better.    how the hell can you see someone feeling better when they have a virtually invisible illness.  got a bit angry when i was told this at work, kept quiet though.  i just accepted what the gp said picked up my regular prescription.

[xwardx]

100% pointless day. Me & hubby seem to be at one of those parts in the relationship where we just argue over the stupidest things, for example due to depression some days I have no motivation and doing simple things such as cooking, cleaning etc feel like a massive effort which I don't have the energy for. I have to cook as my husband it absolutely useless but then he whinges because i'm not very good at cooking...great when you've found it difficult to do it in the bloody first place. He whinges because I haven't done the washing up & i'm just like grrrrrrrrrrr i work part time am a mum, wife, cook, cleaner rest of the time give me a flippin break! Then just to top it all off we have got the stupid christmas tree out and i've nearly had a full blown melt down trying to decorate it I mean really who gets uber mega stressed out over a christmas tree??? I'm now sat sulking with the christmas tree half decorated wondering why I even bother