How are you feeling today?

[cornish]

Just built up the courage to call the solisitors, now I feel horrific, they are denying getting my email months ago about rejecting the psychological report and say that they might just have to accept it as another would cost inverness £1000 and the cbt sessions were £150 a time so they probably won't pay for more of them.

[cornish]

Oh and they aren't happy that I haven't looked into the numbness with my hand, I can't deal with that at the moment  but I'm now thinking of just sorting it out DIY style, I pissed off with all this crap and this was the last thing I needed right now,  I'm alone at work today and I'm struggling with my self over what to do.
For the last 20, well since the call I've just been sat shakeing, crying my eyes out and cutting my self.

[Munchroom]

 &*( Were the CBT sessions the ones with your phsycologist?

Are you possibly in any position to meet them haflway with the payment on further sessions? I know you really shouldnt have to - but if its the only way of getting some more - even if its just the five or six that you'd need until the end of Jaunary?

Is there any proof that you sent the email - in your sent folder perhaps - that will have the date and the time you sent it? If you send a screen shot and a print out to them, then they will be able to tell its not been doctored in any way.

Well done for phoning them though - I realise it was not the result you were hoping for, but it was a huge thing for you to be able to pick up the phone and call them - so, well done!!

DON'T sort out your hand DIY style! They are obviously idiots who have no idea how all of this has affected you.... the numbness will be able to be sorted, in time. Ignore that comment for now.

Xx

[Zaf]

I'm with munchroom cornish especially about meeting them half way with the sessions , it was a massive thing to phone the solicitors and now they seem to be messing you around 

Z xx

[cornish]

yeah the cbt sessions were with the psychologist but she was giving me emdr as cbt would be useless,  im more than willing to pay 100% of the cost of the sessions.  i never even though of that.

i have no records of the email as i get paranoid and keep all the folders empty. im an idiot 

iim suppose to re read the psychological report, i didn't even get half way though it before breaking down, i never finished it   not im suppose to write a detailed letter about my dispute with it and detail everything.
 not sure if ive talked about that but i think i have at least talked to munch about it. 
i just wanted to get off the phone with them earlier as they wernt really listening to me. there is no way i could read it again, even if i still had it and i wouldn't be able to write a letter even if i could read it.

 im so close to breaking point i dont think i can come back this time

[Zaf]

If you possibly can get some more sessions I'd do it as soon as you are able, I would strongly suggest you tell whoever needs ypu to reply to the report with a letter you are too ill to do it and possibly ask ypur doc to send  letter to the same  effect.

If theres anything I can do to help please let me know xx

[woozywoo]

Today i am feeling yuk. I know that i am pushing people away and rejecting some social events just cos i cant bear to be around people at the moment, but then that then makes me feel very unloved and lonely. Bit of a vicious circle.

Feeling like i need to hibinate and it just feels like its going to get worse.

Need a weekend off work, but have so much work to catch up on before the holidays need to work the weekend and feeling very sorry for myself.

[doublep]

I feel very anxious today, very twitchy, and getting angry at everything again...
I cried last night for the first time in 2 weeks 

Got 4 1/2 days off starting 12o'clock today.

Got some things to get on with tomorrow.. collecting a car, welding my car, spending a night at a friends... but the rest of the time I'm desperate to find something to keep me occupied.. I can't stand being on my own as thats when I do stupid things.. it scares me

Tuesday morning I have the appointment to see the woman at the doctors to talk to me, which I'm also worried about.

[Zaf]

its not always easy to find things to do   I guess the evenings are the worst?

Is the woman a counsellor?  They are usually much nicer than we expect,  I used to feel sick going to counselling for the first couple of visits but in the end I looked upon her as a friend :)

[doublep]

Yeah evenings are definately my worst times, I'm normally busy in the days. Didn't really want extra days off but had to take them.

Yeah she is, I know it will do me good in the long run, but I never talk to people about how I feel, so its scaring me

[Zaf]

is there anywhere you could plan to go in the evenings thats not scary?

I know what you mean,  I used to shake before I went and had to sleep most of the day afterwards for the first couple of sessions but after that I actually looked forward to going as she was so helpful.  Hopefully you'll feel the same after you've got over the first one or two xx

[doublep]

Gonna try book my evenings up with staying at a friends, that seems to help loads.

Hopefully I will look forward to it in future :)

[Zaf]

thats a great idea,  you have my admiration for tackling the problem so positively,  its a long road to recovery but you have the right attitude so I'm sure you'll get there in the end :)

xx

[doublep]

Thankyou... but I wouldnt say I have the right attitude.. I just try make the effort to avoid the worst 

Paul

[Holykimura]

Im feeling crap again today and have been for the last couple of days, ive been snapping at my kids and snapped at my partner last night and then felt really bad about snapping. Viscious circle I know. But on a positive i have a job interview on tuesday. Its only a partime post of about 4-6 hours a week and because i work part time i should be able to work it around my current job.  Im nervous as hell as its my first interview since 2003  . My partner reassures me that even if i don't get the job i should feel good about getting the interview. She said see it as experience for applying for other jobs. I suppose she is right, but i dont think ive explained too clearly about how i would see it as a personal failure if i didn't get the job. I know i shouldn't see it in this way, and that i should look at the positive outcomes. Its kind of strange because im also nervous about getting the job, and how it will impact on my life currently. I kind of want the job and don't want it too. Sounds really strange I know, i suppose its me being nervous which is causing me to be doubting things.