How are you feeling today?

[Zaf]

I cant condemn you Alstare as I used to do just the same and there's no point me telling you its not a good idea as you already know that, is there anything in particular that triggered it?

[cornish]

been sat thinking for a few hours just stareing into the darkness, i think i cant get any worse and im scared and dont know what to do

[Alstare1974]

Wanna talk?

[cornish]

thanks but i find it hard to talk to all but a few people when im like this, as i have huge trust issues, im not saying i dont trust you, its complicated.

[Alstare1974]

That's ok mate. Just wanted to offer

[Zaf]

How are you this morning cornish?



I feel tired, would rather snuggle up under my duvet but have to feed the dogs and horses, hopefully once I've done that and got going a bit I'll feel a bit more positive.  Meds been increased for a week so hopefully the larger dose will kick in fairly soon.

[Zaf]

Very much feel like going back to bed despite the lovely weather, feeling so very tired again

[cornish]

thanks for the offer but talking is nigh on impossible when im like this

hmmm how am i today,not going to go into how i am mentally. all i can say is i have a slight problem with my little finger( the one thats numb due to nerve damage) as i did something very very stupid last night, probably best not to go into details here. basically i should go to hospital but i did some diy first aid

[Zaf]

Ouch, do you think its broken?

[cornish]

no definitely not broken, i can see bone though, well i could before i cauterized it, would have been diy stitches with dental floss but i cant find any

oh n yes i know im a bit of an idiot and i should go to hospital but i cant get past my fear of them

[Zaf]

If its that deep please do keep it clean so you dont get infection in it.

Possibly not that sensible not going to the hospital but if you hate them that much perfectly understandable.

[cornish]

im ocd about keeping clean and and im pretty good at diy first aid, im fairly accident prone and over the years ive learnt a fair bit,

just a bit worried that i have pain in what i think are tendons just below my elbow and im struggling to move my finger

[Zaf]

Is there bruising or swelling near your elbow or your arm or hand?  If there is try putting something cold on it, a bag of frozen peas over a hankie or cloth is ideal but anything cold will help take out inflamation, even running the swollen bit under a cold tap for as long as you can bear will help.  Its important to get inflamation down as swelling can cause more damage than the original injury.

I'm not brilliant on human anatomy (if you were a horse I'd be much better!) but I think if you had damaged tendons or ligaments in your elbow you'd be finding it difficult to move any of your fingers.  Is it possible you've damaged tendons/ligaments/muscles that work that finger?  Do you have any other open wounds that might be affecting your finger?

[cornish]

no bruising or swelling just an ache, pain is also in my hand now too

ive damaged tendons before and it doesn't feel like that, hmm other open wounds, more than i comfortable talking about but none that were done after this one.
ive gone though worse injuries and fixed them my self but i just think its paranoia making me think the worst.


edit

just re glued it closed, with proper medical glue and it only really looks like a "normal" cut till you look closely

[Zaf]

It could be that you're thinking he worst,  But it might be worth getting some cold on the bits that ache if you can.

It could also be that part of your body is shocked because of the injury and aches like mad - some years ago I managed to slice my thumb badly nearly down to the bone and my arm ached like mad for a long time afterwards.

Did you say you had an appointment with someone from the mental health team tomorrow?