Back from my evening with my partner!!! Thanks for all your thoughts that is very nice of you all. I tried not to try too hard!!!!!! I think I succeeded, felt very anxious at first and over analysed everthing for about 1/2 hour (to myself) then it just felt like us again. We chatted and laughed and chatted and laughed, a few times I had to stop myself from comparing the facade of the lovely scene I was in to the reality of the situation, as when I did I just wanted to burst into tears with anxiety 9/10 and catch a taxi and go home, but, if I told myself to pack it the chuff in, I could semi relax and enjoy it for what it was. That's not to say that I am not slightly gutted sitting here now though, on my own. But, I had no expectations of her coming home to live happily ever after with me tonight! I think it went well. It's wierd that such a normal Friday night for us, has turned into something so highly charged in such a sad way.
PeteMidlands!!!!!! So good to hear from you mate! Jeez you had me worried disappearing in such a dark spell like that! I'm glad you're on some jollop and are getting to grips with issues you feel you need to tackle. Thats a really big deal well done and good luck.
Alstare, thanks for your comment, things did go ok, I'm sorry you're feeling so low though that's tough. I don't want you to feel low like this and I wish there was something I could do or say to help you. You are, although you can't see or feel it, doing well. I can see that you are not visably improving yet, but you are not going further downhill would you agree? I can see this because of your genuine posts of concern for other people and the fact that you are reaching out, trying things, and sifting through your feelings. You are progressing along your recovery. It is very, very long, but you are NOT sitting on the side lines at the beginning, you have started, and as such, are closer to the end. Well done mate, hear me cheering you with my claxon :)
Cornish. Whatever it is control it until you get to your appointment. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. This is something you can recover from. If you need to say something please don't worry about what it might make other people think, get it out, if not then see us all here, for you. :) Please post at the next opportunity you can and let us know how you are feeling. You're going to be ok. You're doing it.
Zaf your poor other half!!! Hope he's not in too much discomfort! So glad to hear he's ok that must have been a terrible shock for you both!!! You'll both be taking it easy tomorrow!!!! Are you able to cope with this on top of all your worries? A sudden shock like this can be very stressful. I'm sure you're full of adrenaline right now but remember it might take it's toll on you tomorrow - but it's nothing to worry about, all to be expected. What a pair!!!
