How are you feeling today?

[Zaf]

it is good to get things out,  I cant remember if you have counselling but a good counsellor would be able to help you explore your feelings and how to manage them

xx

[Lol]

Cornish I hope your appointment goes well and that you manage to go to it. You are pleasantly surprised by the security you feel in these appointments. They are enabling you to get more out than you thought.

Pete Midlands : Despite how it feels, you are doing well. You are poorly so you will be doing and saying poorly things. Tell as many people as you trust around you so that they understand, and apologise if you feel you need to. They will understand. From what you have said in the past you have a lot of people who love you around you. It sounds like you are suffering a degree of paranoia. This is a common symptom. If you can, try to realise it as such, recognise it and acknowledge it, but know that that is just what it is - a symptom. Roll your eyes at it if you can. Anger too is your bodys overflow to all your internal termoil.

[Zaf]

It really is a godsend seamie,  I'd have found it so useful  when I had my first breakdown in the 90's

good to hear youve come out the other side despite a bad day yesterday :)

[cornish]

Took a few hours but it's over with, started at 9.30

[Zaf]

was it as bad as you expected?

hows your arm/hand?

[Munchroom]

Well done Cornish - I am so pelased and relieved you managed to make the appointment  :) Big kudos to you my friend!! 

[Lol]

Cornish Well done for going. I hope it was managable and you can be pleased with some of it.  :)

[cornish]

hey pete nice to see you back again


it was hell, dont want to go into all of it but there concerned and yet again i couldn't open up fully, i did talk a bit more about my si and a tiny bit about my suicidal plans and thoughts but not properly   there were 3 different specialists there and there all pretty confused at how im still here let alone able to work. but  they say im a strong and stubborn person and thats the only thing keeping me going but if i dont take some time to relax im going to burn my self out and just crash and well then i might not cope and well uhh i wouldn't last too long like that.   cant bring my self to talk about any more sorry

[Alstare1974]

Cornish. Well done for expressing what you did.

[cornish]

thanks, that gave me a bit of confidence to make a bit of a post in my journal and i managed to get quite a lot out, way more than i intended and thought i could let out.

[Zaf]

Well done cornish, you should be proud of yourself :)



I'm exhausted today, I had no choice and worked a very long day yesterday, I'll have to go in today in a little while and I know theres a lot to do but hope I can only do a couple of hours tomorrow.

[Pete]

today i feel nothing.

im sitting, tv on, no sound, laptop on, 2 books trying toread (i get bored fast so have alwaysread 2 together lol , hmmmm is that too crazy?)

right now i just sit and  wait for an emotion as i realised i feel nothing, no maddness, no saddness, no happyness, no anger just nothing.........

earlier my headwas rushing and thumping, my body fluttering but not , nothing at all.    not sure i like it

[Zaf]

Feeling emotionless is quite common Pete, I find it very unsettling too when it happens

[cornish]

well im not actually feeling too bad today even though on the way home from work i had a very minor accident, basically the brakes locked up on a wet hill and i slid into the back of another car. i dont feel anything in relation to it.  but im just really annoyed with the bloke i had working with me today who is one of the idiots at work and he was asleep at the time and started acting like an idiot when i was dealing with insurance details and not really helping with the situation, they were actually on the way to hospital and had taken a wrong turn and my colleuge wouldnt give them directions    , all i could do was appoligise for the accident and give them directions to the hospital.  then on the way back he started exagerating about what happened but as i said he was asleep and only work up when we hit the other car, he started talking crap, the bloody idiot has been obsessed with me haveing a van and he hasnt got one and keeps saying that i cant be trusted to drive and is just an £%^&*$%^ about my illness

[Zaf]

Thats all you need, someone behaving stupidly after a minor shunt, why on earth are people such a%*#€$¥€s?