Yesterday I had an amazing day, no suicidal thoughts no nothing. As soon as i get home all hell breaks loose, yes my mother again.
Due to the fact that i was coming home late, i decided to get a lift home, seems more sensible then walking home past pubs with drunkards in the dark, turns out my mother was at the bus station waiting but never informed me of this. I had attempted to contact her but my mobile had no signal, making contact extremally difficult. When i realised that she was at the bus station, i walked back to ensure that she did not have to walk home alone. Seems like no problem doesn't it. Well obviously not, as soon as we are through the door, she starts 'bitching' to her partner about me calling me ungrateful, selfish. Saying that i treat her like '&$%+'. Then of course her partner has to get involved, then mocking me and my father (why?). Even though i was calmly trying to explain that i could not contact her, they were not listening, in their minds i had been stupid and well vindictive, had i known my mother was waiting for me i would have not recived a lift home.
She then stormed up stairs yelling and throwing things, upsetting all of my siblings.
Just to drive the knife in further she then threatens to overdose saying that if she dies it will be my fault.
Her partner then comes downstairs yelling at me, telling me that i have a cushy life and that i don't deserve any of it, she then attemps to bring my moms health into account, forgetting how ill i have ever been, infact i had to go to hospital this week as i have cysts growing oh joy. Trying to make me feel bad for soeone having an illness is just not goig to happen. Now my phone has been confiscated, not a major problem but they then used my mobile facebook account to post on my own wall an apolgie with other insults in which i call myself, this is them pretending to be me. I know that they can be immature but that is just too far.
Do they honestly think that a suicide threat is going to affect me, i fake the emotions i feel for my family, i feel nothing towards them, i never have. The only family member i feel anything for is my father, thats only because he doesn't judge and he realises how much pain i live with everyday.
So there you go, make your own judgement if you wish.
Jess x
