Eating?

[Ally]

It happened just like I said it would.
I cleared my plate.

And today/this morning, I and really annoyed at myself.
Actually, I was annoyed at myself when I was out at dinner.
But for appearances sake I ate the whole thing.

They were asking about starters and desert, but I stuck with just the main course and I'm quite please with myself about that.

Now I just have to get through this week and deal with next weekend when I have some friends from up north coming to visit and wanting to go out to dinner.

I'm not feeling like I have been, but it's still early and I and still a little sleepy

Thanks for asking
xx

[supportme]

Well done, Ally. I am proud of you!! :).

Take it easy, don't bully yourself, and make sure you have someone you can talk to about your feelings, if it gets a little too much.

Have a nice day xx

[Munchroom]

I'm proud of you too Ally  :) I hope today has been ok and you havent been too hard on yourself xx

I had dinner with the in-laws last night... Carbonara  I ate very slowly and chewed each mouthful as much as I could... I could only manage half the bowl though. Last night I dreamt that everyone that was there was talking about it, in reality they probably just put it down to me being fussy 

[Ally]

Thanks.
I am really quite annoyed at myself.
There was no reason for me to clear my plate. I'm sure that nobody would have batted an eyelid if left a few chips and I really didn't need that piece of cheesy garlic bread at the end.
I was pretty full, but I still decided to eat it....sheer gluttony!

I just don't know what to do about this. It's getting to the frustrating point and getting angry at myself

    

xx

[Munchroom]

I know Ally - like me with the burger king, I didn't need to eat it, I'm sure Chris would have polished it off....

Have you spoken to anyone else about this? You GP or your family? I'm in the same situation so can't really offer any constructive advice, but you are not alone in this feeling  &*( xx

[Ally]

I have mentioned it in passing to my other half.
But I have not gone into any great detail with her.

I find it difficult to bring up in conversation and I am pretty embarrassed about it.

Got an appointment with the GP on Thursday morning, so I'll try to work up the courage to mention it there

[supportme]

I think you should definitely speak to your gp about it. It kind of upsets me that it embarrasses you. What is there to be embarrassed about? You are ill, that's all.
I never once felt embarrassed when I had anorexia. Scared, alone and wishing for death to take me in my sleep, but never embarrassed. I was 15, a child, but I had the courage to speak to my gp, right before they had a chance to hospitalise me.

I hope I haven't come across as having a go, it's just I know how serious this is. Again, I don't want to scare you, just promise me you will try and speak to your gp about it, just in case it gets out of hand. Like I said before, I am not too worried about you, Ally or Munchroom because you are noticing changes and vocalising them. That is such a positive thing. I think for those reasons you are both really lucky. When I became ill, it sneaked up on me, I didn't know what was happening. It is my living hell.

Anyway, stay positive, I am proud of you both! :)

Have a good day xx

[Ally]

So, having been to the doc, he suggested staying on the escitalopram as they were started about 8 weeks ago and give them a chance to work rather than changing them at this time.
He has also refereed me to counciling, so I have to wait for an appointment.

He suggested that the eating problem is a result of the depression (no great surprise there) and that it is at the extreme end of the scale. I could have gone to the other end of the scale and started comfort eating.

Hopefully I will get an appointment soon and get to the bottom of all this!

xx

[KateG]

I've been at both extremes Ally and neither of them are nice places to be. Hope you get your appointment soon

[supportme]

Well Ally, that doesn't really come as surprise to me, either. My anorexia nervosa was triggered by depression, and yes it is serious. I am 21 now and experiencing my second episode of depression. Luckily I doubt anorexia will ever come back, as food was not the problem, it was just an outlet for the depression.

Anyway, counseling should be good, Ally. CBT is also used for eating disorders.

Good luck let me know how you are feeling, getting on xx

[smirfy21]

My need to binge this week has been terrible, I have pretty much eaten my folks out of house and home, I think that this was triggered by my anxiety towards my psychiatrist buggering off on 2 months annual leave and not telling me which meant I had to see somebody completely different which caused a lot of stress.