oh well - here goes - another newbie

[Sweetpea]

I agree they wont think you are a moaning minny.  I think you will find it just comes out when you do go and the right counsellor will be patient.  I have just started my counselling, had 2 sessions now and I thought I wouldn't know what to say either, but the time just ran away while I was there and was easier than I thought to say the things that had been going on in my life.

S x

[Zaf]

When I feel really bad I go quiet a bit or my answers get shorter, whileI feel OKish I try to help and when I feel bad others help me :)

I think it needs to come out at a controlled pace to be the most useful, at my counselling sessions a bit more would come out each time and I would get to understand more, by the next session I would be ready to explore my feelings a little more

[Spid]

I think I get it - go slowly and it will help more and stop the dissolving of self - of course I could not go and that would stop the dissolving of self too (maybe) but  . . . I suppose that would be silly and selfish. How does it actually help thoug? Honest question there. Does the speaking of feelings lay them to rest or does it make you feel awful and solve nothing in the end? How does talking solve it?

[Zaf]

In my case talking about things helped me explore how my feelings and way I deal with life fuels the depression I suffer with, it also gave me some tools how to deal with panic attacks and anxiety, it also helped me recognise and understand why I do things that are self destructive and find ways to avoid them

[Spid]

Do they help and suggest things or is it all a journey of self discovery and you are meant to make the links all by yourself? DO they actually ask questions to get you going or are you expect to spout forth? I've told no-one anything very significant for 30+ years. It won't be easy to start now without a prod or two.

[Zaf]

My counsellor asked me to give a brief summary of my childhood onwards to present day, I got very emotional at the point where my dad was in the hospice and died, she sort of led me through it all very gently and asked questions when I dried up or she needed to clarify something.

My counsellor encouraged me to explore my feelings with her guiding me, I dont think she ever actually suggested anything, more led me to discover what I needed to find out

[Spid]

Okay that doesn't sound too scary. I suppose I shall just have to learn to be honest and not hide stuff. I can make my life sound very much like a long boring list.

Thank you for you help. I'm a big woos really.

[Zaf]

I was so nervous before my first appointment I managed to put my bra top on back to front and wondered why it felt uncomfortable, fortunately I realised before I left for the appointment!

One thing I did do when I went was to write down a little list of things I felt important to talk about as I knew I would forget.

I hope you find your counselling as useful as I did xx