Its so tough, but as said before - there is no reason to depression or the actions it can provoke in the sufferer.
Im a fairly logical kind of guy. I take after my dad who was an engineer, so if something is broken i take it to bits to find out how it works and if I can fix it. Nothing to lose!
Its no different with me and depression. Why do i feel like this? Why does it lead me to such irrational decisions? So i spend some time to try and understand. I get nowhere, so I spend more time...and more....and in the end It fills my life. I never get all the answers because sometimes there simply are none. This makes me feel low and like a failure because I cant understand my own feelings. In the end the answer is nearly always to accept that im ill and that things will get better in time with rest and treatment. I sometimes have to accept, like this time, that my life may change after an episode and that i may be a slightly different person at the end of it. Its a hard road to walk.
The answers to your questions may come in time when she is ready. They may never come as she may never want to speak of them again. She may just want to move on when she feels better.
As always, my thoughts are with you both.
