my wife has clinical depression.

[Zaf]

Lets hope this is true the beginning of her recovery and things will look up from now :)

[Glen53]

You are looking after her well, and i think under the circumstances thats all you can do. Today was tough for her. Talking to a stranger about these feelings is super-hard. It occurs to me that may have been even tougher for you though. To be so unsure of your future with her and still stand by her and support her in the way you have commands huge respect from me. You are trying so hard to understand all this and gain the knowledge to support her as best you can. However this turns out, be kind to yourself on your efforts - you really have done everything you can to make things better.

I hope there are better times ahead for you both. We are here to talk if or when you need us.

[Lol]

Hi Terle you have done brilliantly. I think you have had a day like today because you have addressed your issues and allowed her the time to think about them. She sounds like she is trying, praise her for that.

You are doing brilliantly. Today was very difficult for both of you but I think you have made some significant progress.  :)

[tarle1976]

Well taken the diazepan so maybe able to sleep better tonight.also paid for spa treatment with one of her friends so hopefully she will enjoy it not telling her I arranged it so she does not feel bad.listened to your advice.she is starting to feel sad so the horrible thoughts are starting didn't know that till now.like me her friend is nieve to the fact suicide is possible .she would not do that she said.its been a funny day but  even though its difficult to figure out what she wants .I enjoyed helping her .cuddles do work and stroking her back at night .just all the things u take for granted when all was well .got an appointment with my helper a week Tuesday which is good. Just like to say that your words are priceless to me and my children and my wife Rachel.I think had I have not found u things would be a lot different now.not saying anything is saved but u have given me the tools to cope.I don't know how u cope with depression but at least u find the energy to help people and for those who have lost loved ones to the illness and have time and patients to relive the pain it causes to explain.

[Lol]

It's one big familiar boat to all of us I'm afraid, if we can possibly warn some one off coming aboard we will, but if they have to we'll give them a cuddle when they get here.

You will only ever do this once Tarle, next time you will have all your own tools sharpened and ready for action.

 &*(

[Glen53]

Agreed.

Helping others through depression is one of the tools i use to cope. The thought of sparing someone else from even the smallest part of this illness compels me to try.

You are both welcome here any time you need advice, or a friendly ear to bend. Thats what makes this forum what it is.  :)

[tarle1976]

Well she feels unwell this morning and won't be taking those again apparently.she is far more affectionate for some reason .maybe cause she now knows I'm not going any where who knows.kids she seems better with also.strange yesterday she wanted to buy me an top self magazine for some reason.well out of character I don't even buy them.as she keeps saying new day today taken it off to spent with her let's see what happens.makes me wonder if this is a goodbye situation again though.

[tarle1976]

She admited now she is really unwell again even her dreams at the doctors are negative.just seems to spiral down always .one foot forward four back.love her so much.

[Glen53]

It sounds to me like she was trying to push you away to protect you. She clearly cares for you.

Your support for her is humbling, it really is. I have only ever been on the suffering end of things and I really REALLY dont know why my wife puts up with me. Living with this as a carer must be so tough and you have my huge respect

Keep going with what you are doing.

hugs to you both.

[Lol]

It's good that she is admitting that she is unwell. Keep reassuring her that it doesn't matter to you. In sickness and in health.

You're doing so well, this is the hardest thing you have ever been through.

[tarle1976]

Silly question just what next.Rachel is asleep and thinking.now I wait.

[Sweetpea]

All I would say is take every minute as it comes, and just be there.  I know when I am really bad I don't know what I want or need, all I can think about is how bad I feel.  Try not to be too in her face (not saying that you are). I always feel for my hubby, as I know I am an awful person to be with when I am bad.  He just leaves me be and gives cuddles when I need them, he also trys to take control of everything eg housework etc so I have nothing else to stress me out.

Thinking of you

Sharon x

[Glen53]

Agreed.

one day at a time. Deal with each challenge as it arises - dont try to second guess depression and its many problems. You can never predict it from one day to the next.

If you need help then ask us and we will try to help you if we can.

[Lol]

I think where ever you can try to resume an air of normality to your life. This might help her to feel that all eyes aren't on her watching her mess.
Don't try to second guess it nd don't try to make too much sense of it. It doesn't make sense . Deal with things as and when they arise, and praise her for any improvement. Then get on as normal around her. She may want to push you away to protect you more if she thinks you are having to majorly change your life to be with her with this illness. Remember she doesn't think it will ever stop and this is how it's going to be, but actually you know different.

[tarle1976]

Right can't wake her .she is breathing but got to try kids .I should leave her.but she might not sleep later.dilemma