Have you asked your partner what makes him think he doesn't want children? For some it is simply not feeling at all paternal, no yearn there at all. And for some it's a more practical apprehension such as liking your sleep, being able to go out when you want, isolation from friends, coping with noise or clutter. For some it is the sheer responsibility.
Once you know what it is that's holding him back, you can talk about it and see if you can alleviate any worries ie. we would take it in turns to get up/have a lie in, or we would make sure that we each have a night out a week to keep up our sicial circle, or we will make these plans to have a time out if we need it. and you can also talk about the joy a family could bring - the love you feel for you own children, creating a loving and supportive atmosphere to nurture a child in, fmily values, giving new life new experiences - being there the first time he/she sees a butterfly, showing them the inside of a conker for the first time, inparting knowledge - watching them tie their own shoe laces for the first time, all these lovely things.
You mention that you love him dearly, how does he feel about you, how is your relationship together?
I didn't want children, then my (ex) partner decided she - in her words - 'was ready to be some one's mum'. This came out of the blue and knocked me for six. I couldn't deny her of this ultimately essential decision so we talked about it and I re evaluated how I felt - I diodn't simply fit in to what she wanted forsaking my own thoughts on the subject; I thought about it pretty much ever day for about 2 years! Finally I got my head around the things that were stopping me, plus I was 2 years older and maybe something changed in me, but I truly came round to the idea. When I was ready to tell her, thinking she would be as excited as I had come to be, she f*^&£d off! Leaving me thinking WTF? had I missed the window? Bt actually I think that might have been the trigger for her ending the relationship - Having children with me would have tied her to a rlationship she didn't want to be in any more. It;s a real shame she had been pretending to want to be in a relationship with me all this time, especially as I had been getting on board with this family idea, so when she was forced into telling the truth for once in her god damn life she p*£^$d all my new dreams up against the wall too! But, better I suppose that she told me before we had a family, so that she only destroyed me and not some little innocent bambinos into the bargain. What I'm saying is, is your relationship strong enough to survive not having children, or indeed having children? Do you need to talk about the two of you before talking about creating some one else?
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