Hi,
I'm Jem and I'm 37, married to Gizmoe for nearly 10 years. I work full time as a deputy manager of a small hotel.
Looking back I think I have suffered from depression for pretty much all of my adult life. I have had 2 severe (for me) stages one was 2 years ago (when I gave up smoking) and the other was about 8 years ago. The first time I was prescribed Prozac but had an allergic reaction and ended up taking 2 weeks off of work, the doctor changed my prescription to citalopram but I never took it. The 2 weeks was all I needed to relax and rest and get myself back to my version of normal.
2 years ago I gave up smoking and got really down. The stop smoking nurse told me that it could take up to 6 weeks for my chemicals to adjust. As it was affecting my job I went on Citalopram which did really help but made me very, very sleepy (to the point where I would go to the loo in the night and fall asleep sat on the loo!) I stayed on the anti-depressants for 3 months then asked to be weened off - my doc did say they would prefer me to stay on them for 6 months but was supportive of my decision. I have since started smoking again, which maybe I wouldn't have done had I stayed on them.
So we get to now... I feel I am on the verge, having lived with this for so long I know the signs, they've been coming for a while. I'm trying to fight but it's so hard. I am so anxious about everything and I do feel that it is getting to the point where it is affecting my work. I have worked so hard to get to where I am. My boss is quite supportive though doesn't really 'get' depression. He is a 'fixer' and as there is no way to fix this it's hard for him to understand. My hubby does a great job with support, a shoulder to cry on and listening to all my anxieties, but I know he doesn't get it either. That's why I wanted to join as I know you guys will understand and maybe give me some tips. I really don't want to go back onto medication as I really don't like how it made me feel.
Any thoughts or coping mechanisms gratefully received x