Hi

[Jem1976]

Hi,

I'm Jem and I'm 37, married to Gizmoe for nearly 10 years.  I work full time as a deputy manager of a small hotel.

Looking back I think I have suffered from depression for pretty much all of my adult life.  I have had 2 severe (for me) stages one was 2 years ago (when I gave up smoking) and the other was about 8 years ago.  The first time I was prescribed Prozac but had an allergic reaction and ended up taking 2 weeks off of work, the doctor changed my prescription to citalopram but I never took it.  The 2 weeks was all I needed to relax and rest and get myself back to my version of normal.

2 years ago I gave up smoking and got really down.  The stop smoking nurse told me that it could take up to 6 weeks for my chemicals to adjust.  As it was affecting my job I went on Citalopram which did really help but made me very, very sleepy (to the point where I would go to the loo in the night and fall asleep sat on the loo!)  I stayed on the anti-depressants for 3 months then asked to be weened off - my doc did say they would prefer me to stay on them for 6 months but was supportive of my decision.  I have since started smoking again, which maybe I wouldn't have done had I stayed on them.

So we get to now...  I feel I am on the verge, having lived with this for so long I know the signs, they've been coming for a while.  I'm trying to fight but it's so hard.  I am so anxious about everything and I do feel that it is getting to the point where it is affecting my work.  I have worked so hard to get to where I am.  My boss is quite supportive though doesn't really 'get' depression.  He is a 'fixer' and as there is no way to fix this it's hard for him to understand.  My hubby does a great job with support, a shoulder to cry on and listening to all my anxieties, but I know he doesn't get it either.  That's why I wanted to join as I know you guys will understand and maybe give me some tips.  I really don't want to go back onto medication as I really don't like how it made me feel.

Any thoughts or coping mechanisms gratefully received x

[Pip]

 :welcome:

I'm one of the fortunate ex smokers that coped with stopping without any problems.  My reason for giving up was I got a very bad sore throat which wouldn't go away.  I was in my 20's though when I gave up though.

My coping mechanisms are keeping busy which is helped by being able to do stuff at church such as cleaning the church hall once a week and helping out with the lunch club which is on every Friday.  I like writing as well, it helps to get my feelings out and reading.  This year has been bad as we had a neighbour from hell so my mood has been low for some time.  Our housing association was good but they had to deal with the situation in a certain order.  In the end we had the police out due to him being abusive and threatening.  That was enough to prompt the HA to warn him to either change his behaviour or be evicted but that could take a year.  We moved a couple of weeks ago so my mood has started to improve. 

Hopefully other members will respond as we all have different ways to cope and have different types of support.  My husband is very supportive and gets it as he suffers with depression.  His coping mechanisms are slightly different except keeping busy also helps him. 

[stewart]

Hi Jem, citalopram is just one of many anti d's around, unfortunatly many also have the side effect of maling you feel tired.
having a good boss, and a supportive hubby is good too.

sounds like the giving up smoking is the trigger for you, maybe you could talk to your doc about patches or the e-ciggies.

[Jem1976]

Thanks for the replies.  Hubby said exactly what you said Stewart about trying a different anti-d.  I am reluctant though after my experience with Prozac.  But I have made the decision to go see the doc this week. 

I felt a bit better yesterday after talking to hubby and making this decision but my anxieties have come back with a vengeance today just as I am about to go into work.  So hard when you know it's irrational but can't stop the feelings.

[stewart]

im not too sure, but i think one called  citalopram is easy on the body