Bullied teenager

[The Rani]

I loved school up until I left primary school as it was a small school and ju  Myst from my street there were seven of us in the same year.  My problems started when I started at a local comprehensive as I was separated from my girl friends and I only knew a couple of boys from the primary school.  Thankfully I made new friends and still saw friends out of school.

Unfortunately I started getting bullied by older girls and never found out why so I started dreading going to school.  It was okay during lessons, it was lunchtime, morning and afternoon breaks that were difficult.  My friends always had my back but it was the times when they weren't with me.

I was incredibly shy and was scared to tell my parents and teachers as I thought it would make it worse.  My parents knew something was wrong ad tried to get me to talk.  I was also afraid they would think I was being silly or was trying to get out of going.  It only started to ease a bit as a couple of girls were laughing about what they were doing - she and I went to different schools as she was in the last year of the 11+ where we lived.  My sister overheard the conversation, I don't know where they were other than they were out, and she had words with them.  Whatever was said worked but by this time my mental health was already suffering.

[Pip]

Thank you for sharing, teenagers can be very cruel.

[The Rani]

The effect of bullying has left me feeling like I'm not quite good enough compared to others and I must work harder than others to prove I can be trusted to get on with whatever tasks I'm asked to do. When I am told anything positive it's hard to accept it without wos sad that ndering what the person wants from me.

It's sad a grown woman feels like this. A friend cautiously suggested CBT but I'm not too sure about it.

[Amanda]

The effect of bullying has left me feeling like I'm not quite good enough compared to others and I must work harder than others to prove I can be trusted to get on with whatever tasks I'm asked to do.  When I am told anything positive it's hard to accept it without wos sad that ndering what the person wants from me.

It's sad a grown woman feels like this.  A friend cautiously suggested CBT but I'm not too sure about it.

I'm so sorry you went through this!  I was bullied throughout my education and at home too, so do understand.  It sounds like your sister had and still has your back though and I'm sure she will be by your side whenever you need to talk about what you went through.

As for not feeling good enough, I understand that too, but you are better than the people who put you down.

I've never had CBT but I know people who have and if you find the right therapist then it might be something to try?

I'm with you every step of the way, The Rani!

[Pip]

I've done CBT a couple of times and it helped far better the second time than the first time. The first time was when I was on a bariatric surgery course and the staff thought it could help. At the time my head wasn't really in the right place as I was putting weight on despite following a planned diet. It just made me feel irritable and I came off the program although I did complete the CBT course.

A few years later a university arranged a CBT course as part of the students learning program and were after guinea pigs to do the course. This time it really did help as I chose to give it another go rather than doing it because it had been recommended.

We're all different and our expectations are different. It's worth looking into it as it can help and it gets you thinking about your reasoning and avoidance tactics you may use. I was good at avoiding certain situations which isn't always a good idea.