Scared to take time off for depression...

[Flea]

How much time have you had to take off work with depression?  How many occasions and for how long?

I have been doing well for a while after taking 3 months off in early 2009 following cumulative events resulting in reactive depression.  I struggled at work throughout 2009 in terms of concentration and being able to focus.  My health was more important than success at work, but nevertheless my work performance was considered acceptable.  When well, I am very proficient and have been formally recognised as such.

In late 2009 I had an accident and broke my back, resulting in another 2 months off.  This embedded my depression further, as the link between pain and depression is notable.  My employers have been great and have taken reasonable steps to support me.  I have been assessed Occupational Health, who conceded that further absence due to my depression/back was likely.  In 2010 I had odd occasions of a couple of days sick leave, due to pain related instances.  However, since then I've gradually improved.  Until now, I've had 9 days off in 2010, attributed to virus' and back pain.

The thing is, I've recently felt the anxiety increase and friends have commented that I am on edge.  Little things are driving me crazy and I'm so oversensitive, it's untrue.  A number of issues have come to a head - terminally ill relatives, family disagreements, job uncertainty and my neighbour harassing me.  Just yesterday, the job issue got sorted, as I successfully secured a position within my company after a tough selection process against quality individuals.  The interim period was horrendous, seeing colleagues go through it, with families to support and mortgages to pay.  Some weren't so lucky.

But, rather than relief, I feel completely wired and unsettled.  I can't sleep and I am so stressed, I can't even cry - as though I'm numb.  I have taken today off sick as I felt so jittery and sickly.  I have slept all day.  I know that if I see my GP tomorrow, he will suggest I take time out.

I'm afraid to go down this route though.  My company has an absolute right to discipline employees for excessive absence.  I have had it confirmed that my back injury and depression are both conditions covered by the Disability Discrimination Act, which means that they have to make "reasonable adjustments" to allow you to work.  To be fair, they have done.  

In summary, if I have to take more time off, am I putting myself at risk of losing my job?  I'm seriously scared. :-(

Can anyone advise?

[Zaf]

From what I understand of the law relating to this your employer would have to go through a very lengthy process before they could even consider dismissing you (we recently got legal advice on this about an employee that was taking a lot of time off for various reasons, including one that was health related).  Have you actually had any interviews or warnings about the amount of time you have had off sick?

I think you need to see your doctor and voice your concerns about your employment during your appointment if you can.

I had four months off with my first breakdown and several other occasions when I havent been able to work for periods of 2-4 weeks due to my depression

[Flea]

Hi Zaf, I've had one 'formal' interview prior to them getting wind of the Equality Act (previously Disability Discrimination Act).

[Zaf]

Did you get a 'letter of concern'  or anything written following the meeting and/or given any deadline where you were expected to improve your level of absenteism?  Our HR advisor is obviously looking out for us as the employer and from the advice we have received that would be a first step before anything else should be done, we were also warned several times about the possibility of being taken to a tribunal if we dismissed someone with recurring health problems as it could be considered discrimination.

[Flea]

Did you get a 'letter of concern'  or anything written following the meeting and/or given any deadline where you were expected to improve your level of absenteism?  Our HR advisor is obviously looking out for us as the employer and from the advice we have received that would be a first step before anything else should be done, we were also warned several times about the possibility of being taken to a tribunal if we dismissed someone with recurring health problems as it could be considered discrimination.

One email direct from my manager, with discussions documented.  Deadline achieved.  No printed letter though and  nothing formal since.  No mention of trubunal.

[Zaf]

Make sure you keep anything you could use for evidence, are you in a union, they would be able to help with up to date legislation and advice,  if not it might be worth joining one!  The CAB would also be able to help I think.

There is a fairly formal set of rules before anyone can be dismissed for any reason unless its gross misconduct like hitting someone or stealing etc.  I'll see if I can find time to check our firm's process as I think its possibly fairly standard within industry, you may have to nag if I forget as we are pretty busy in the office atm.

The tribunal I mentioned would be if you felt you were unfairly dismissed and would be able to take action against your employers, and again a union or CAB would be a very useful ally if it came to that.

Hope this helps

Z xx

[Flea]

So I've been signed off for a while.  Not sure it's a good thing as I've just slept constantly, and have no motivation.  I feel my depression is taking over and I can't fight it.   

[Zaf]

Tiredness and apathy are classic symptoms with depression

Have you been taking antidepressants?

[Flea]

Hi Zaf.  I had not been taking them for a while, but by Dr has put me back on citalopram.  As many of you know, the initial side effects can be distressing, but I'm just going to have to ride it out.  Feel sick, highly agitated and irrational.   

[Zaf]

I hope the side effects pass quickly for you and the benefits are equally as speedy

xx

[kit]

hi flea
im also scared to take time off. not because i have an unreasenable boss though but because i dont want to stop and think.. im also feeling numb and dont cry even though i want to.

[Glen53]

Its a difficult subject. Its one of my biggest worries at the moment too, so i ope it all works out well for us both.

Flea - Its admirable to want to keep going, but be cautious to give yourself a little time to think. If you pile on through life without taking the time to explore your feelings, it can end up making things worse as you bottle it all up for later. This is mostly why im in the fix I have found myself in now.

Taking too much time off is counter productive, but not resting at all is also damaging. Its a tough call but in the end I think its should be based on what the individual needs.

[Flea]

Glen53, you talk a lot of sense.  I have been to the doctor today as the citalopram side effects have been awful, yet I have felt slightly better in my head.  I have two weeks respite to let my body adjust, but I can go back before then if I feel ready to. 

[Glen53]

Very sensible thinking.

Too many times I have pushed myself back to work before I was ready... then i end up off again because others see im not coping.

Take what time you need and assess the situation by the day. If you are feeling well in two weeks and you feel ready then head back into work, maybe ask the boss for a 'phased return' if they offer it (work slightly less hours for a few weeks to see how you cope) Zaf is right about there being a certain amount of protection for those with depression. As long as you are diagnosed, i believe it comes under the disability act so it makes it very hard to dissmiss you. Get advice from the CAB if you feel you need to. MIND may also be able to advise you if needed.

Good luck  :)

[Flea]

Glen53.  I have been through the phased return thing when I came back to work after my breakdown in early 2009.  I think work would accomodate this.  My fear is that my illness has recurred and there is a record of absence in relation to my depression.