Thanks Cornish for your info, its useful and encouraging to hear about others peoples experiences with meds, perhaps the Sertraline might be ok, still have anxiety about trying them though lol.
Lol, I think you might be right about the panic attack, thinking back on it I was extremely worried about taking the Citalopram, so took it before bed and then woke up 4 hours later with the rapid, thumping heartbeat. Although I suffer with anxiety quite badly I had never experienced panic attacks before going on the meds, but I had quite a few over the duration of the treatment (along with nausea, feeling like my blood was running cold in my veins, strange vivid dreams (some of them were cracking, sweating, insomnia, teeth grinding, bad anxiety first thing in the morning, complete decrease in my appetite (I used to love my food), feeling spaced out (which I actually liked in the beginning), oh and I know what you mean about the sweating omg it was like I had gone out sleep swimming) and since I have been off the meds I have had a couple more, but I know what to do now if I get one.
Its reassuring for me to know I have this forum to come to if I have any concerns about things, I'm so glad I found it now, wish I had found it sooner!!
It probably sounds a bit like I don't want to help myself by not being keen on taking the meds, my mum gets very frustrated with me about this, I do want to get better but I suppose I was just hoping that it would all go away on its own, I didn't want to be in this situation in the first place anyway. I do have some good days, but unfortunately the bad days are more frequent than good
especially the days when I wake up in the morning with a monkey mind and within 10 mins of waking i'm laying in bed like a mug listening to it telling me that it tells me that i will amount to nothing and all im am doing is a waste of time, that i am lazy and i should be ashamed, that i shouldnt smile as its ugly when i do, that when i laugh be careful cos when i do something will happen to put me back in my place, that no one will want me coz I am a s**t person, it basically tells me im not good enough and may as well not be here, that things would be better without me, that i let everyone down and that im a &$%+ friend, i feel like i am a bit( esp when i go into isolation i dont contact them), that I am a failure as a person, that I will never get better I'll be dizzy and depressed forever for an hour without even realising it, then I physically have to tell it to shut up, shake my head, get up and do something.
i hear my mum struggling with the ironing, or hoovering or whatever she gets well out of breath coz of her embolisms i should be taking care of her as i could have lost her but i still dont help, then i feel like a &$%+ daughter but I just dont have the energy to do it. ll sit in class and wonder what the hell im doing there like what is the point im not going to get anywhere with it, lol this is why i dont sleep well, mind is going like this even while i sleep, no wonder im exhausted all the time.
Blimey that was a bit of a rant soz not sure where that came from lol, many thanks to all for your kind replies earlier
