third time affectted by depression after my baby

[confused32]

this is my 3 rd time battling depression i have had depression twice before once after my 2 nd baby and after the death of my sister,before i fell with my 3rd baby i was maintained on meds and doing really well and i choose to come off them as the ones i was on could affect my baby my mood was ok durung my pregnancy,after i had my baby i was put back on them about 6 weeks after the birth as i could feel myself getting lower and lower.There has been alot going on within the family life and i was forgeting to take my meds and i was getting so low i was considering serh harming which i havent done in quite a few year.I dnt no whats going on i have started back on my meds and the dr gave me sleeping tabs to help me sleep i have only took 1 of these though as i dnt want to be reliant on them the thing that is worrying me is on a few occasions i thought a fly was buzzing about my head and trying to attack me am very scared and confused because when i looked to see where the fly whet there was no sign of it anywhere in the house

[Zaf]

hi confused, welcome :)

Someone else here might know about the buzzing problem but if not I would urge you to go back to your doctor and explain whats happening and how you feel in case its some sort of side effect to the medication

[Lol]

Hi confused32. You are going through a difficult time and all your hormones and emotions are in over drive after the birth of your new baby not to mention having depleted your level of medication during the pregnancy. The symptoms you are experiencing are distressing and you must not be afraid to talk to your doctor about them as soon as you are able. None of your symtoms are ones that no one has had before so please don't be fraightened to tell your doctor everything. Medication seems to work well for you from what you have said, perhaps you will respond well again and be free of these symptoms.

[Depina]

Welcome confused
I agree with the comments from Lol and Zaf
(It is a safe place to open up here)
Take Care
XX

[confused32]

thanx everyone at the moment i dnt no if i'm coming or going there are times i dnt want to go out then other times i cant wait to get out. another thing that goes through my head is i'm scared i might do something,when i am walking over a bridge when shopping i imagine what would happen if i had to jump from it or whe waiting for a train or bus should i walk infront of it but then i think of my kids and it brings me back to reality i have never told anyone about these feelings before. many times at my appointments i have come close

[Karian]

Hi Confused,

I was diagnosed with PND after my 12yr old son was born, but 12yrs on I am still fighting it,
I too for many years avoided admitting my thoughts as I "felt" they would judge me and try to take my kids from me, I now know that
wouldnt have happened but at the time that was my main factor in not saying anything.
I too find my kids my lifeline and my reason for still being on this earth as while they need me I would never leave them.
Hope being here and venting helps you in some sort of way xx &*(