Terrifying dreams...

[Munchroom]

Hi everyone... its me again 

I don't really know how to explain this one, but I am so upset and frustrated about my dreams I really don't know what else to do   

I've always dreamt quite vividly, before I got ill it was usually about silly things - or something I could link up to what had happened the day before. But I always enjoyed dreaming. I have a huge and very vivid imagination, so to be able to escape every night into this crazy fantasy world that I had made up - was great!! But now.... well, the last 6 or 8 months I guess, those exciting fantasy worlds have turned into something I really dread evey night  I know that it is probably a reflection of what is going on in my mind when I'm awake, mixed with two different medications... and that, up until now, I have been able to cope with. The dreams themselves aren't 'nightmares' as such - theres no big scary monsters or horrible events! But I am just so sad, or scared, or nervous in them and they are so real. Even though I try not to dwell on them they stay in my head and I can recall dreams like this from months ago!!

I've spoken to my doctor about that type of dream and he suspects it is probably a side effect of the Venlafaxine (along with night sweats - which are turly horrible) He is kind of of the way of thinking that the Venlafaxine does generally help my mood and we tried so many different AD's before it, that the dreams might be something to be put up with. Which I can understand - vivid dreaming is by far one of the least disturbing side effects you can hope for with AD's, but being every night its wearing me out - and wearing me down!!

Lately I have been having another sort of dream - which is very very hard to explain. But I shall try!  Basically... I believe I am awake. And these dreams are much scarier - partly because of that, partly because of what is happening in the dream and partly because I feel like I cannot physically move! It feels like I am completley drugged. I can't even open my mouth, sit up in bed, or turn around to see what is behind me.... (whereas in 'normal' dreams I can move - I'm walking about as normal) But in these dreams... I'm in my bed which leads to the feeling that this is all actually 'real'. I have just woken up from asking someone to shoot me - and believing it was happening for real 

I have to admit - I can't remember the last time I woke up 'refreshed' from sleep. Which, probably is what is causing a lot of my exhaustion! Its just feeling like every night theres going to be something scary, or bad, or nerveracking and I can't stop it! I do fidget and talk a lot in my sleep apparently and I am waking up quite frequesntly with these night sweats (another side effect) which did stop for a while, but now they are increasing in frequency again... I did mention that to the doctor yesterday, but he came out with the same reply as above! He thinks maybe the mental health team (when I finally get to see them) might be able to do something... but, what?? And how long do I have to wait for that??

[Lol]

oh no Munchroom this sounds so distressing. In your waking life do you feel trapped and afraid and unable to convey your feelings or make a move towards something you want to do? If so your body might be exploring this at night? Do you ever have lucid dreams where you are aware that you are dreaming in your dream? If so, you may be able to train yourself to do this and develop a trigger that wakes you up. When I was little, if I had a bad dream and I realised I was in it and wanted to get out, I shut my eyes tightly and rubbed them and it always woke me up. Apparently you can develop techniques to do that? I don't know what to suggest. It sounds horrible I'm sorry you're going through this. Sleep should be an excape not a further worry.

[Zaf]

Poor you, that souns horrid   as the dreams have changed in nature I think I might be inclined to speak to the doc again

[Munchroom]

Thankyou for your replies...

lol, I do sometimes dream inside my dream - only very rarely, but I know it has happened. Feels very Inception-ish!!  (VERY confusing!!) The only thing that I do wish was different in my waking life was the whole Peter situation  I'm trying to work up the courage to at least broach the subject with him....

I think I will end up talking to my doctor again Zaf - as lol says, it should be an escape, and relaxing if nothing else!

[Lol]

Munchroom how did you sleep last night? Any horrors?

If there is something you know that is on your mind, try writing it down in as much detail as you can to include specific times of the week/day you're going to set aside to tackle the problem, then your brain can pigeon hole it and wont feel the need to try to sort it out during your sleep because it (you) will know it will be delt with.

[Munchroom]

Yeah there were some horrors... they are so unlinked to anything in my waking life though, which is just bizarre! I know the people in them, but be they friends or family, they are not people that are on my mind at the moment.

I will try writing things that are niggiling me down, thats a good idea  :) I have spoken to Peter and at least we both know where we stand, with it still being amicable, so - hopefully, that will be a huge weight off of my mind.

[Lol]

That's great. Often to see people in your dream represent aspects of yourself that you need to explore/desire/dislike. Does that mean anything to you? If there is a situation in your waking life, dreaming about another person is usually a wish to have a quality of theirs that would enable you to deal with it yourself.

Remember I recently had a scary party to go to and I had total anxiety about it and paced about and almost cried all the way through it, the night before I had a random dream and about a random person who is a complete bitch and I don't see unless I absolutely have to, I never think about her, she's realy horrible and manipulative, but one thing she is is really sociable - she's a social predator actually, this is how she earns trust and manipulates people. I woke up thinking - great! that's just what I need - and I was really confused as to why she popped up and then I realised it was because I felt so socially anxious and inept about this situation and wished to be a little like this person - some one who breezes in to a croud, turns on the charm and wins everybody over. (obviously I would then very much neglect the part where you turn people against each other and revel in your pallace of popularity over what a mess people get themselves into then offer your own shoulder to cry on and create even more power!!!) (I loath people like that). But it made sense to me that there was a quality in her that I desired in this particular situation.

Does this ring any bells with you? Dreams can be quite clever alot of the time. But I don't mean to sound like a trashy magazine horrorscope, dream interpretation is not everyone's cup of tea.

[Munchroom]

Yeah... it does make sense. I do believe dreams are sometimes there to tell us something... but these just seem to be going over old ground, and not in a good 'perhaps there is something to be learnt from that' kind of way.

Saturday night I dreamt I was working in an office (the type of job I did when I became ill... I quite often have dreams where I have 'accidently' ended up in an office job, because I think this whole experience has taught me that office work is not my cup of tea!) But I was so anxious and... well, like I was last year really. But no-one believed me. Everyone was just like 'Ah.... everyone has bad days and doesn't like the job they do' and I was trying so hard to make them believe that it wasn't that I didn't like the job, just that I literally, physically and mentally... couldn't cope! There were other bits aswell but basically it culminted in me going back to live with my parents and Chris not even caring enough to text me (which I know is ridiculous) And I know, it doesn't sound that bad. Theres no.... big scary monsters or anyhing!! But it was that fear! And feeling in my dream that there was no escape.... I had to get up for a few hours because I couldn't settle after that.

I've just spoken to my doctor who has managed to speak to the mental health team (as I now don't have an appointment until the 17th october...) And they have suggested changing my meds around. I'm currently on Venlafaxine in the morning and Trazadone as a sleeping tablet. He/they want me to now double my sleeping tablet dose and ween off the Venlafaxine in the morning, so that in the end, I end up taking two lots of Trazadone in a day (a dose in the morning and a dose at night...)

Should be an interesting week! 

[scardeycat]

Hi everyone... its me again 

I don't really know how to explain this one, but I am so upset and frustrated about my dreams I really don't know what else to do   

I've always dreamt quite vividly, before I got ill it was usually about silly things - or something I could link up to what had happened the day before. But I always enjoyed dreaming. I have a huge and very vivid imagination, so to be able to escape every night into this crazy fantasy world that I had made up - was great!! But now.... well, the last 6 or 8 months I guess, those exciting fantasy worlds have turned into something I really dread evey night  I know that it is probably a reflection of what is going on in my mind when I'm awake, mixed with two different medications... and that, up until now, I have been able to cope with. The dreams themselves aren't 'nightmares' as such - theres no big scary monsters or horrible events! But I am just so sad, or scared, or nervous in them and they are so real. Even though I try not to dwell on them they stay in my head and I can recall dreams like this from months ago!!

I've spoken to my doctor about that type of dream and he suspects it is probably a side effect of the Venlafaxine (along with night sweats - which are turly horrible) He is kind of of the way of thinking that the Venlafaxine does generally help my mood and we tried so many different AD's before it, that the dreams might be something to be put up with. Which I can understand - vivid dreaming is by far one of the least disturbing side effects you can hope for with AD's, but being every night its wearing me out - and wearing me down!!

Lately I have been having another sort of dream - which is very very hard to explain. But I shall try!  Basically... I believe I am awake. And these dreams are much scarier - partly because of that, partly because of what is happening in the dream and partly because I feel like I cannot physically move! It feels like I am completley drugged. I can't even open my mouth, sit up in bed, or turn around to see what is behind me.... (whereas in 'normal' dreams I can move - I'm walking about as normal) But in these dreams... I'm in my bed which leads to the feeling that this is all actually 'real'. I have just woken up from asking someone to shoot me - and believing it was happening for real 

I have to admit - I can't remember the last time I woke up 'refreshed' from sleep. Which, probably is what is causing a lot of my exhaustion! Its just feeling like every night theres going to be something scary, or bad, or nerveracking and I can't stop it! I do fidget and talk a lot in my sleep apparently and I am waking up quite frequesntly with these night sweats (another side effect) which did stop for a while, but now they are increasing in frequency again... I did mention that to the doctor yesterday, but he came out with the same reply as above! He thinks maybe the mental health team (when I finally get to see them) might be able to do something... but, what?? And how long do I have to wait for that??

Hi Munchroom. Nice to meet you. I can truly sympathise, and emphathise with how you are feeling because of your dreams. Partiularly the one where you dream you are awake but can't move or speak. I have the exact same kinds of dream. For me, it's that there is someone in the house who is going to harm me - rape me, stab me, it varies but there is always someone in the house and I can't move, or open my mouth to scram, or get out of the bed to run away. I too can't remember the last time I woke up refreshed.
Interestingly, I too am on venlafaxine with little or no help of coming off it (and apparently the side effects, the withdrawals are truly awful) I too have had various different AD's and am now also taking mirtaapine. That's at the maximum dose. Because of how things are at the moment though, in all honesty it looks like the venlafaxine is going to be increased. Though I desperately want to feel as though my head is above the water, rather than feeling like I'm drowning with the sheer weight of - well just everything. At the moment, I feel like I am drowning and that the water is getting deeper and deeper and I've got lead weights attached to me. I desperately want to feel as though my head is above the water, I'm just worried that these dreams are going to increase in frequency or get worse. It seems as though the both of us, because of the poor mental health services offered by the NHS - are at something of an impasse. I wish I had the answer to help you. I don't I hope it helps to know though that you are not alone.
xx

[Munchroom]

Thankyou Scardeycat - it does mean a lot to know that I am not alone with these Venlafaxine side-effects (although, not so good that someone else is suffering too!) I have recently had a dream where I was raped by three friends - and they are good friends!! Not people who I would ever tie such a heinous act to at all - there seems to be absolutley no sense or logic to these dreams other than just to terrify us out of our minds!!

I also have heard stories of how awful Venlafaxine can be to come off of - apparently (I don't mean to scare you with this) but it is even harder if you have been on it for six months or more (which I have been... and at the highest dose my doctor can prescribe) I know on the odd day I have accidently missed a tablet I get awful 'fizzy' feelings all over, which are actually quite scary, because they can be anywhere - my head, lips, hands, feet...its like that area is momentarily paralysed  very hard to explain. I am really dreading this coming week now. With some hope, the increased Trazadone might have a strong sedating effect at first and I might be able to sleep through the worst... although the Venlafaxine + dreams will still be present so.... ARGHHHH I don't know 

Have you spoken to your doctor about the Venlafaxine and how its affecting you? Are there other side effects too? The worst I have found on it are obviously the dreams, night sweats, lactation and my libido has just gone completley out of the window... Your doctor should also be monitoring your blood pessure whilst you are on them too?

I was on Mitrazapine for a few weeks last year (before the Venlafaxine) but they just made me want to eat.... everything and I mean, everything  With my issues with food and gaining weight, that really wasn't a good side effect at all.

[Lol]

Munchroom your looking at the dream wrongly, it's not that you believe your friends would want to rape you and there is somthing to tie up that significance, the point of the dream would be that some one you trust completely is harming you, has harmed you, or you are afraid that they might. In the dream you will be feeling scared and betrayed, some thing in your waking life is also feeling like thiis. Your office dream simelarly - don't take it literally - you're dream is not saying that you want to get an office job. It's all about how you were feeling in your dream. There maybe something in your waking life that is making you feel like you accidentally drifted into it and now you are realsing it is not for you.

Does this make any more sense? Perhaps Venlafaxin dreams can not be interpreted which is quite possible isn't it. Usually dreams are about situations that have at least struck a chord with you in your waking life. It is thought that the reason we have more dreams and dreams that are more vivid when we are depressed or on AD's is because we sleep lighter and that is the phase of sleep when we dream. That coupled with the fact that we obviously have more on our minds!

Either way this is horrible for you and I'm sorry you are going through it. I'm glad you are seeking medical advice, the only thing I can think of to do in the mean time is try to do some gentle exercise followed by something very relaxing before bed so that you perhaps sleep deeper and don't dream as much? I'm sure chance would be a fine thing! Good luck tonight.

[Munchroom]

Lol, it does make sense - are you a dream physcologist by any chance?? 

I don't for one minute think that they would want to rape me though! But the logic that its because someone is/has been hurting me that I was close to makes a lot of sense!! (Peter!) Perhaps my unconscious mind is recognising that subconsciously I am frightened that my friendships with other men may go the same way and I will end up being hurt by them?

I can sort of tie up the office one. Even being IN offices now (for appointments etc) makes me feel so anxious because I get that whole.... familiar feeling of just being completely out of my depth! I'm working back in residential care for the elderly and people with dementia now - which feels so much more.... natural! (I suppose is the right word!) Although at the moment it does seem to be a bit harder to actually get myself to work and I am wondering if I have pushed myself too far too soon  But thats another issue...

Thanks Lol... You are being incredibly helpful  &*(

[scardeycat]

Thankyou Scardeycat - it does mean a lot to know that I am not alone with these Venlafaxine side-effects (although, not so good that someone else is suffering too!) I have recently had a dream where I was raped by three friends - and they are good friends!! Not people who I would ever tie such a heinous act to at all - there seems to be absolutley no sense or logic to these dreams other than just to terrify us out of our minds!!

I also have heard stories of how awful Venlafaxine can be to come off of - apparently (I don't mean to scare you with this) but it is even harder if you have been on it for six months or more (which I have been... and at the highest dose my doctor can prescribe) I know on the odd day I have accidently missed a tablet I get awful 'fizzy' feelings all over, which are actually quite scary, because they can be anywhere - my head, lips, hands, feet...its like that area is momentarily paralysed  very hard to explain. I am really dreading this coming week now. With some hope, the increased Trazadone might have a strong sedating effect at first and I might be able to sleep through the worst... although the Venlafaxine + dreams will still be present so.... ARGHHHH I don't know 


Have you spoken to your doctor about the Venlafaxine and how its affecting you? Are there other side effects too? The worst I have found on it are obviously the dreams, night sweats, lactation and my libido has just gone completley out of the window... Your doctor should also be monitoring your blood pessure whilst you are on them too?

I was on Mitrazapine for a few weeks last year (before the Venlafaxine) but they just made me want to eat.... everything and I mean, everything  With my issues with food and gaining weight, that really wasn't a good side effect at all.

I've spoken to my doctor about some side effects, my libido has gone out the window too. I've been on venlafaxine now for 11 years  so I think any side effects of coming off it may be truly hideous! I'm at the highest ose of mirtazapine, but I know that the venlafaxne can be increased. With the way that things have gone recently, I'm thinking that this likely. My blood pressure is checked regularly, as for the other side effects, I've been told pretty much that it's a cas of put up and shut up. I don' have the increased appetitie with the mirtazapine, but I do have similar issues with weight gain. Sadly for me - most of my other meds have meant that I#ve put a LOT of weight on - it just seems to be a no win situation

[Alstare1974]

I've totally lost my libido too. It's a big part of what destroyed my marriage.

[scardeycat]

I've totally lost my libido too. It's a big part of what destroyed my marriage.

I'm sorry to hear that Alstare, that must be hard for you. We, as in people who suffer from depression do seem to have got the raw end of the deal. The mental health services in this country aren't the best, lets face it, how often are we left waiting for medical appointments that we need? How often are we misunderstood because of depression, or any other of the related symptoms / conditions?
I used to have a high sex drive. Now though, and it just doesn't interest me.