The problem with depression forums is.........

[Befuddled]

They are all so miserable because everyone is depressed, I was ok (ish) till I started reading this forum.   "£"  then I start reading around and realise how deep in I am.

 The people that break away from the cycle and get better don't come back and tell us how it's done.
How am I supposed to get better? The NHS is crap, there seem to be several levels:

1. Anti-depressants
2. CBT
3. Psychotherapy
4. Electroconvulsive therapy

The first two aren't working for me and the wait for No. 3 is 3 yrs. I just feel like I am hanging on, treading water and my life is a waste, work is difficult, money is tight, relationships are at zero, friends are few and far between, family don't understand or really care.

What the heck is the answer? If there was one and it cost money I would find it, I would work, beg, borrow, rob a bank to make myself feel better.... 

[cornish]

i seem to remember a few people on here that have recovered and offer there help

i wish i knew the answer

[Munchroom]

Forums aren't for everyone - but I have found and I know a lot of other people that post on here have also found that being able to share how you are feeling with people that won't judge you can be a huge help. Also, knowing you are not alone with whatever crazy stuff is going through your head can be re-assuring and we are all at different stages of our depression - the ones of us that are coming out the other side can help to support and encourage others that aren't feeling so positive and like there is no point in anything. I am not as bad as I was when I started posting on this forum - but I have stuck around and I have offered support and guidance where I can. I have also made a few really good friends - two of which in particular I hope to stay in touch with long after this phase in our lives. BUT there are still very very dark days and I know I am not out of the woods - my family and fiance have been a fantastic support, but they haven't experienced it first hand so it is very hard for them to completely understand why I feel the way I do and why I take some of the actions I take.

I have found incredible support through this forum and I beleive, in some ways, it has helped me to know that through my depression  I have helped... even just one person. One of the most awful things about depression, as I'm sure you will agree, Is the feeling of complete isolation - this place - and other depression forums like it, can just take the edge off of that a little.

But as I say... they aren't everyones cup of tea. Just as some AD's and therapies work for some and not for others. We all have to find what helps us as individuals.

I really do hope you find something that works for you. I tried 5 different AD's before I found one that even really scratched the surface - have you been back to your doctor and explained that you aren't feeling any improvement?

I don't mean to be patronising or sound offish - I have just come off of a 10 hour night shift (So will probably explain a fair few typos too  ) But I know a lot of people on here - who I have got to know as people and not just names on a screen and I feel that having an outlet where we can share, not feel so isolated and encourage each other is a good thing.

[Karian]

I can understand what you are saying befuddled and their is probably an element of truth in that but... I have found some mental health forums very disheartening but I have also had the best experience with one, an msn group many years ago when I was at my rock bottom (or so I thought at the time) and through that forum I found support to keep me sane, I had one of the group mods basically take me under her wing and although she had problems herself she offered me a lifeline or friendship and support, she rung me daily for a few weeks till I had got back on my feet again. Without her I know I would not be here today, I still have contact with her now and class her as a very dear friend and we now support each other if she is having a tough time she can ring me day or night and vice versa. I am not saying every place will offer that type of thing but I know for me I am just glad to be able to have somewhere to vent and for to see anyone reply makes it worthwhile it keeps you sane knowing others suffer and live with depression.

Do I believe depression ever leaves you and you get better? No, but I do believe with the right mixture of things medication, talking and proper support you learn to manage your depression.

I have a close family mum & dad, one sister & one brother, sister in law & 4 Nieces and 5 Nephews and one on the way, My sister has depression too she lives with my parents and her daughter. My brother and SIL are supportive in a practical way, they offer help with the kids but as for emotional stuff not a chance. I am blessed with the most wonderful partner we have been together 15yrs almost and he is absolutely my rock. He suffered depression after his mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer over 16yrs ago, but he has managed it, yes he gets bad days but he knows now what helps to improve that he will go fishing for an hour or go for a drive he knows how to cope, he did relapse for a time 2yrs ago and he went back on meds for a short spell but he is wonderful and I know looking at him there is hope for me.

Hope you find your level of normality and find what helps you xx

[Mark from Bristol]

Hi Befuddled. I 'got out of the cycle' though vigilance is still the watchword. There are somethings missing from your list I would try:

- meditation. Give it a go. Try http://www.bemindful.co.uk/ and www.getsomeheadspace.com
- regular exercise. Not much to start with - try something you like, not necessarily the gym. I began with table tennis. It also gets you out and meeting people.
- watch your diet: food affects mood. Try the MIND food and mood guide. http://www.mind.org.uk/foodandmood/food_and_mood-the_mind_guide
- pay attention to your sleep. Develop a regular sleeping habit. This will have a v positive affect on your mood. Try this website: http://www.sleepio.com/
- finally, try Tai Chi. It's a skill you can learn over years that improves your mind and body, gets you fitter, helps you relax and is something you can learn over a period of years which gives an unending sense of achievement.

Try this web page: https://www.checkyourmood.com/content/self-help

// mark

[Zaf]

I meditate regularly,  and found tai chi very relaxing - I had my latest mini breakdown when I stopped meditating because I was too busy - I now make sure I meditate daily and I'm sure it has helped,  I use a mantra and have used candle meditation in the past.   Yoga nidra is also very calming and relaxing if you can find someone or a CD that does it.

[Karian]

I too meditate but I done that ever since I was 18
I find music a wonderful assistance too, earphones on mp3
and some panpipes or my favorite just now is sacred healing waters by sayama
it is so peaceful, I enjoy it a lot x

Thanks Mark, I think I will look into Tai chi might help with easing my anxieties xx

[Befuddled]

Thanks for the replies, I will read them again and see if something more can be done.
Despite the title my anger is with our health service (NHS) as they just seem unable to help, this is nothing new I've been like this for years and have just been shunted from one kind of help to another, they all just seem to scrape the surface of the problem without getting to the heart of the matter.

ADs? I just see them as a temp measure not a cure, they just bring me up from the lowest level to an almost acceptable level of normality - to be able to just about cope with everyday life. I don't want this though, I crave for a happier life, but I'm just fighting this on my own and it's the lonelyness that's the killer sometimes (there's a lyric in there somewhere!).

I want to start at the beginning and need to know why I feel like this, I think that would be a good start, but don't know if its possible. I want someone to look inside my head and tell me why I am like this! I feel if I knew and understood I would be able to fight it.
I just seem to be in an endless cycle, because I'm so tired I can't work properly, so I work longer hours to keep my head above water (and give me something to do) which keeps me tired, I can't be bothered to do anything or socialise because I'm tired and have nothing of any interest to say to anyone because I never did anything because I'm on my own. Because I'm horrible no-one wants to be with me.
I did take out a gym membership and it was ok, not really me and I didn't get much out of it, I just felt lonely, I gave it up and went back to work....

It would be good to see something a bit more pro-active on this forum rather than it just being endless streams of faceless people moaning (like I just have!) and then never returning.
What don't we put in our signatures where we are from or get some kind of meet going? If I knew someone in my area was in need of some chat or company I would help them out.

Once again, thankyou for replying.

[Lol]

Befuddled I think it's a bit rough to say members need to "be more pro active rather than just being endless streams of faceless people moaning"! People are not simply moaning - they are letting of some very important steam and articulating their feelings. Steam that can't escape to others in their lives for one reason or another. Moaning is unproductive and self indulgant. For the people on this site, being able to explain how they are feeling to a NON JUDGEMENTAL audience who understand is cathartic, relieving and wholly necessary. They are met by understanding, sympathy, empathy and overwhelming support.
Please don't mistake these posts for moans. They are vulnerable pieces of each members personal jigsaw of grief and unhappiness, and everytime they let one out, they get closer to completing the picture they are struggling to understand.

[Munchroom]

Very well said lol.

The whole point about this forums is that each one of us that posts knows exactly what it is like the be in the darkest depths of depression and we are all trying our best to help, support and encourage each other. There are billions of 'pro-active' forums around - forums that aren't full of people who are depressed!!! But this forum is basically a support group for those of us that are and who need that encouragement and the ability to share how we are feeling with other people who know exactly where we are coming from.

All AD's are meant to do is bring you up to that level where things are a little bit more manageable - unfortunately there is no 'magic cure' for this illness. Possibly the best way to get better is with a small amount of everything you have said does not work? We all understand how frustrating this illness can be - but as lol says, the fact we can discuss this is a non-judgemental enviroment, with people that are all at different stages of depression (from realisation to people that have recovered and who do post) is what is keeping a lot of us going.

[Befuddled]

Befuddled I think it's a bit rough to say members need to "be more pro active rather than just being endless streams of faceless people moaning"!

You've taken my words out of context and added your own to them to make them look worse, whilst ignoring the rest of my post.

It is interesting what you guys say though, I've got a lot to learn still......

[cornish]

Befuddled I think it's a bit rough to say members need to "be more pro active rather than just being endless streams of faceless people moaning"!

You've taken my words out of context and added your own to them to make them look worse, whilst ignoring the rest of my post.

It is interesting what you guys say though, I've got a lot to learn still......