Hi Munchroom
This dream suggests that you are inclined to adopt the values of Chris in this instance. You may admire Chris's ability to forgive and wish for this for yourself. At the same time you miss the relationship you had with this guy and it sounds like you have come to terms with what happened, and even understand and start to forgive it. but you still mourn the loss it has caused by just having happened in the first place. Has Chris shown a particularly forgiving side recently? If so this may have triggered your own desire to forgive and it is easier to imagine Chris doing this than yourself. Alternitively it may mean that what you miss most about this guy is lacking in your waking life and your dream was reaching out to that quality rather than the actual person. You may be letting go of some negative emotions.
I see some sense in that... Chris hasn't forgiven him, if anything, I have and Chris most definetly hasnt. He knows I still chat to him on msn, but his name isnt mentioned in our house anymore

i do still mourn the loss though, definetly.... I honestly don't know how or if i'll ever stop mourning it because I valued his frendship so much! I have great friends, my relationship with chris is better than its ever been and people are constantly re-assuring me that what happened was not my fault (although... I'm still pretty much certain it was, if I wasn't so vulnerable or hadnt got ill, then it wouldnt have happened, probably) but... i don't know, its still hard.
Last night I dreamt (amongst other things...) I had a mouse in my kitchen.... and I spent the whole time (which seemed like ages!) trying to keep the dog away from it and trying to capture it, before realising that if I just guided it to thr front door it would walk out happily of its own accord...

have NO idea what that signifies... Also, in my sleep lately I feel very groggy - very groggy, like I can't even focus on putting one foot in front of the other and I'm not sure at this point whether I am asleep or awake. Its a pretty scary feeling...