what to do?

[Janey63]

i have been off work for 2 weeks now an dhave another week left of my sicknote- i have been on 20mg citalopram but i can't say i really feel any different.......should i espect to?

i am worried what will happen if i retrun to work and it all comes flooding back again..............

How do i know ehn i am recovered enough??

any help would be gratefully received.............

[Zaf]

I think it might be a good idea to go back to your GP and explain how you feel about work if you can, he/she may also increase your medication but in my experience it usually takes 4-6 weeks to start to take effect and they dont like to put people on a high dose to begin with.

If work is your trigger (which mine was) I didnt want to go back at all but when I eventually did it wasnt nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

I know I'm getting better when good days outnumber bad days and the panic attacks decrease dramatically.

Hope this helps a bit, others might have better or more advice  xx

[Janey63]

Thank you Zaf- i have already decided togo back to my Gp

[Zaf]

Its good you feel you can, sometimes it difficult but I think really essential, if you feel counselling might be useful you dont have to wait for your doc to suggest it, you can ask but its posible the doc wont think its necessary.

Hope it all goes well xx
 

[Depina]

Hi Zaf, thanks for your reply. I have sent off for the book you mentioned as it sounds really good. ( Depressive illness, the curse of the strong ) I haven't thought about just thinking of my body and not worrying if I do have to rest, or don't feel like going out etc,etc. A problem I have is feeling guilty/useless because you are NOT doing things. Very useful for me to think about Thanks D XX I do know that I am a sensitive person and wish I was stronger and more able to cope.

[Zaf]

I used to feel dreadfully guilty for feeling tired and not able to anything, now I do feel a little bit guilty still but nowhete near as much as I used to.  The book will tell you that you are strong, which is why you got depressed; even before I read the web site/book I'd been told that its often strong people that get depression because they are conscientious and try too hard to do everything or to be perfect.

Xx

[Depina]

How are you Zaf? I am ok but yesterday my head felt really weird which it does quite a lot, I could'nt remember the easiest of things- like the names of places near where I live, and my friends must be thinking - gosh there is something wrong with her, it happens a lot, so much so that I just don't talk as I know I will look foolish, even what I am writing now doesn't make sense. Sometimes I think I am going mad !I can be told something and after a minute or so I can't remember it ! Also my mind is in a jumble. Going to see the doc next Fri but don't know where to start telling her really. Its like when people go upstairs and forget why they have gone but I am like that all the time -Agh, drives me mad !! Feel teary a lot and missing my mum,dad,children and grandchildren. D XX

[Zaf]

I'm a bit low Dephina but I know there are ups and downs with depression and I have to expect this, its really disappointing after a few relatively good days but at least most of my lows arent as bad as they used to be.

I know what you mean about not being able to think straight or not remembering things, its really horrid but it does improve eventually.

It might help if you make a short list of the most important things you want to tell the doc, its so easy to forget or get sidetracked, do try to her exactly how you feel if you possibly can, it can be difficult and I usually end up in tears but its really important

xx

[Depina]

Thank you for replying and for the good advice,it is good of you especially as you are low today. It's strange how - well with me anyway I can be ok and then seconds later I'm not. Thinking of you, have a better day tomorrow. Depina XX

[Zaf]

 I find the same, one minute OKish, the next feeling that the world is coming to an end or I'm suddenly in tears

I had a good counselling session today but, as usual, I feel exhausted now

Thanks :) xx

[Depina]

Lets hope we all sleep well tonight. Sleep tight D XX

[Janey63]

went back to docs and he has recommended i have another 3 weeks off...............he has also put the diagnosis 'anxiety' on my sicknote. My boss keeps asking what is actually wrong with me so perhaps this will satisfy his curiosity!

feel tired today..........was v. emotional yesterday- kept crying

[Zaf]

I'm glad your doc has given you more time off and put something more sensible on your sick note, do you have to go back to see him in a few weeks?

Tired and crying is all part of the illness,  its horrible isnt it?  Try to get lots of rest if you can, it will help even if it feels it wont.

[Janey63]

Thanks Zaf- i do try and rest but then i feel guilty when hubby gets home form work and there is stuff he has to do....

have some good friends visiting this weekend........so i am hoping they cheer me up a bit

[Zaf]

It is incredibly difficult to get as much rest as we need sometimes, especially without feeling guilty,  you can only do your best :)

Hoping ypu gave a really good weekend with your friends xx