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Author Topic: hello  (Read 1913 times)

afshapes

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hello
« on: July 29, 2011, 12:15:15 PM »
Hello, my name is Andrew and I've been suffering with depression for two years, I'm coping at the moment with the aid of 40mg of citylopram and I'm in work, despite being  tired most of the time and the odd dark moment I'm doing ok.  The problem i have is my relationship.  My partner has been through a fair bit of s**t with my illness, namely being distant, caught up in my own world, having little consideration and so on.  Now things are getting better but my girlfriend seems to be getting sadder.  It seems she is hurt and angry that she has had to go through this and feels that now I'm getting better I have just forgotten what she has been through. I really do appreciate her and as my energy increases I make more of an effort, I can't help but to feel relieved about feeling better and I don't want to think about what it was like.  I don't know what to do , ithink we should just put it behind us .... Any similar experiences or advice out there , many thanks
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Zaf

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Re: hello
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2011, 01:18:44 PM »
Hi and welcome, I'm not the one that can answer your question but everyone is so friendly and helpful here I'm sure someone can.
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Munchroom

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Re: hello
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2011, 03:36:17 PM »
Hey - and welcome  :)

I think depression is so hard for the people around us and that there definetly needs to be more support for them. I'm not really sure what to advise - I guess just re-assure her that she has been a great help and she has made you stronger and able to deal with things  :) We can show gratitude for our loved ones in many different ways!! Maybe spoil her a bit - you don't have to go backwards.

Nay x
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Zaf

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Re: hello
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2011, 04:54:35 PM »
We have a depression support group in our county that caters for partners and carers of depressed people, its possible there might be one near where you live that can help.
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lightenup

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Re: hello
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2011, 06:50:56 PM »
Hi Andrew a very big welcome to the forum, on the forum several partners have been on trying to understand what we are going through.  I'm surprised my husband didn't leave!!!   On early days my temper was awful coupled with the AD's I was frightening, I mean I really lost control waving a knife around in a very threatening manner.

Maybe I'm very lucky my husband is my childhood friend and he knows ' normal me' even though he was bewildered at times.  I have a lot of sympathy for partners, keep re assuring her and maybe let her read some of the posts on the forum.  Also remember if you are living with someone in a depressed state their mood will also be pulled down.
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TeaBag

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Re: hello
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2011, 10:48:58 PM »
Hi Andrew, I've just joined this forum too. I don't know what advice I can offer, apart from just letting your partner know how much you love her. Maybe try and do something every day, however small, to show how much you appreciate her for standing by you.
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Pete

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Re: hello
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2011, 12:20:02 AM »
Hi,

I cant really advise myself either as my partner right now doesnt really accept fully my depression and reckons I am just still  grieving but I know deep inside its more than that. I have hidden things for so long and so well that the thought of me actually not being able to cope is not beleiveable to others I can tell.

I would say actions speak louder than words mate, dont make too much fuss just show her that things are going to be better, let her see that the past was the past and hopefully you can both move on together. If you were anything like me you were a complete arse so sure its going to take time but hey you have the time right!!

step at a time, day by day just like life itself.


Hark at me Dr Pete lol  ;)
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kittensocks

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Re: hello
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2011, 01:52:38 AM »
I know what you mean, my poor boyfriend's had to endure stories from my childhood and my depression since we met. He was the one who gave me the strength to accept I was depressed and I needed help. It's been a bumpy ride, as you well know and it drained my poor fella. What worked for me was to sit them down and explain that even though you're going through a rough time and that you're more than grateful for their support, you're there for them too. All problems are relative and you need to support each other. Then buy a massive bunch of flowers or lovely chocolates  ;)
You're doing really well, be positive and love her. You'd do the same for her, you're not a bad person for being ill!
ks x
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