From my own experience I can say that medication does help. Like you, I am very stubborn and I tried to hide my depression from everyone for months before I was finally talked into going to the doctors - but by that point, I have no idea how I was still carrying on, I was a wreck!
The thing about anti-depressants, from how I understand it, is that they are not a 'cure'. To recover fully you need to address everything in your life that has brought you to this point - thats where counselling comes in. Anti-depressants just make everything seem a little more manageable - but that is really so you can bring yourself out of bed in the morning and start to tackle everything else.
I'm sorry to hear about your job. The uncertainty of that can't be helping at the moment.
I know its hard to look at positives, but at least if you don't have to worry about going to work you can focus on yourself and getting better - I understand fully how being out of work brings its own worries and stresses, but nothing is more important than your health. Before I got ill and during the phase when I was hiding it from everyone around me I had it set in my mind that I could not afford to be ill! Both myself and my partner worked full time and at that point I couldn't imagine how we would cope just going down to one wage. But that was 11 months ago and I have just started back working very very part time. You do find ways of coping when you need too, you and your health are the most important thing here, everything else can be put on the back burner until you are strong enough to get back out there again.
x
