How are you feeling today?

[Zaf]

its really horrible when that happens

do a bit and give yourself a reward then do another bit,  it often helps do the horrible jobs we dont want to do :)

[Munchroom]

Well... he doesn't think its C.F.S, so thats kind of a relief I guess! He is concerned that the anxiety, self-harm and feelings of wanting to 'escape' are coming back and he gave me a bit of a telling off about food, explaining that if my blood sugar drops then my anxiety levels and irritability and the not being able to think straight will get worse...

He wants me to increase the Trazadone to two in the morning, four in the evening and fiddle about with the Venlafaxine dose a little so I'm gradually taking less... With the increased Trazadone I'm gonna be wanting to sleep even more!! 

[Zaf]

It sounds as though he is on the ball which is a good thing,  do you eat a lot of sweet things which affect your blood sugar?

[Munchroom]

Not really, its more this over-whelming fear of putting on weight so, not eating a lot / only eating small amounts....

He is pretty on the ball, I'm very lucky to have a doctor that seems to understand it.

[Zaf]

it might help if the small amount you eat is mostly protein,  I'm sure its supposed to be better for a stable blood sugar level

You are indeed lucky, as am I, some people have dreadful problems with depression when doctors are apathetic or hostile towards their illness 

[Alstare1974]

I managed to get to sleep at about 1 am.  Woke up at 9am and dozed til 11 but then got up. Feeling quite pleased with that.

[Zaf]

Thats great Alstare :)

[Lol]

I think that's a real step in the right direction Alstare well done! An achievement! How are you feeling in yourself today?

[Zaf]

Hmmmm, I feel OK this afternoon after sorting out a contract and finally getting an email from our solicitor to say she'd got payment for an invoice after getting almost to the point of taking the #%*+Â¥$ to court and sorting a little bit more of the backlog, I had an afternoon doing my own thing mostly but had to stay around the house as the people laying the patio were here (after years of doing bits and pieces to it ourselves when we ad time I decided to bite the bullet and pay someone to do it - another job off the huge list of "things to do" that was hanging over me despite rather enjoying learning how to do bricklaying in the process!).

But I look ill, really ill   two people Sunday asked me if I was OK because I looked pale but I didnt realise I looked so bad, its concerning me a bit but not actually worrying me at the moment but I have a nasty feeling I'm going to start getting obsessive about it if I'm not very careful.

[Alstare1974]

Bit tiredso had an hours sleep this pm. But all in all not too bad.

[Got]

Good stuff Alstare.

Munchroom...they want you to take Trazodone in the morning? Im no doctor, but surely it would send you to sleep?

Zaf...dont worry about being pale....I suppose we all have days like that.

I hope everyone is well. I myself am feeling slightly better as I am now under the wing of the community health care, so hopefully I will have access to a psychiatrist soon, It has given me the desire to get better, I was close to giving up.

[Zaf]

Good to hear Alstare :)

I shall try not to, we have a few days away next week in a little rural cottage so I shall nurture myself and see howI feel/look when we get back

Do you have another appointment soon Stevie?

[Got]

I have to wait for the meeting the nurse will have with the doctor. It will be tommorow. Im slightly worried at her lackof emphasis on medication, even though she said my symptoms suggest I am serverely depressed and that the honest of depression appeard to be without external cause. However, maybe now I am with peopel of are more calibrated to my needs...these kinds of things will be discussed. I do feel at the moment that I need good medication, the depressions are scary and very bad.

[Zaf]

She probably isnt qualified or authorised to advise on medication, if she thinks you are clinically depressed I'd have thought during her meeting with the doctor the subject will be discussed.  If none is offered you may have to push the issue and at least get an explanation why none are being prescribed.

Depression is a horrible scary illness and I sincerely hope now you under the community health care you will get he treatment/help you need

[Got]

Thanks zaf. Agreed, she wasn't qualified to discuss medication really. I did discuss with her that I felt due to my condition, medication will play an improtant part. They seem much more clued up than anyone else I ahve spoken to. I have to say, she was lovely and I was very impressed by her. It makes so much difference when someone takes you seriously. I am thinking that seeing a doctor is probably likely now.